By The Social Chameleon Show / July 4, 2019 September 11, 2019 Trust But Verify Trust but verify works when the outcome trumps the relationship. If you’re trying to build a relationship, then trust but verify may not be the best strategy. Trust is easy to break and hard to gain. We need to be good stewards of verifying information before we share it with our community. In a time when we are easily fooled or become emotionally charged by things we see and read, it’s essential to take a step back and verify what we're seeing before taking action or sharing ideas that continue to spread a false narrative or information. Subscribe Books & Links From The Episode Know of any good books or resources? We're always looking for more people, books, class or resources on this topic. If you have any ideas, please share it with us. Episode Transcriptions Episode Transcriptions Unedited, AI Auto-Generated. Speaker 1: 00:15 Opening Music Speaker 2: 00:15 Welcome to the social chameleon show where it's our good up. You've learned growing, transformed personally to become today. You want to talk about the idea of trust, but verify. I know this phrase and this whatever is isn't like an oxymoron or controversial. People are like, you know, you can't trust an but then had the verify cause then you're lacking trust. But to me it's the, it's the idea. It's the concept. We're always we're always having a, you know, trust, you know, think about when you're driving, you've got to trust that that person stays on that side of the road or in their lane. But you've also got to verify that they're actually doing it. And that's to me, the concept, like, you know, having the faith, having the trust that the people, you know, everybody's doing what they should be doing. And Gen Mo, most often that's the case. Speaker 2: 00:57 People aren't, you know, malicious all the time. You know, we're, we're, we're doing what's best so that we think is best for, you know, ourselves or whatever it is. And it's not the intent of, of, of us to, to do something untrustworthy or whatever it is, you know, was that, you know, don't attribute it to malice or whatever. I forget whatever that rule is or whatever. But you got this, you got a similar thing in the medical field, right? Like do no harm kind of stuff. Right? Yeah. Yeah. So, and I know I get, well I guess we wanted to talk about touch on like dino, the idea of trust, but also, you know, in a non cynical way like, you know, take, take the time to validate and take the time to, to verify to, to, to build that trust, to build this thing like this. Speaker 2: 01:45 The thing I kind of came up with here was, you know, trust what verify works when the outcome trumps the relationship. If you're trying to build the relationship, that trust but verify may not be the best strategy, you know, so you got to keep that in mind. Like, you know you know, work or whatever it is. Like, listen, the most important thing here is the outcome. Like, so I need to verify that this is going correctly. This is going thing. But between you and I, you know, I can't constantly undermine what you're saying or over, you know, micro-managing you. We're not going to build that relationship. So you've got to understand that difference and what you're after in, in, in the, in the situation, you know, situational, you know, type thing, you know, time by time and you know, and be about being a trustworthy person as well. Speaker 2: 02:29 And, and you know, giving people the benefit of the doubt. Like I said, most times people are just doing the best that they can and there's no malice there. They're not trying to intentionally, you know, be there. Think about, you know, when your plans don't work out, it's because somebody else's did, you know, so your plants can always work out cause other people's aren't. So you know, you got to think about that stuff and kind of put that into context. Like, you know, just things are going to be the way they are and you've gotta be able to roll with that and understand people aren't out to get you all the time, no matter what we see on TV and the Internet and all this type of stuff. Speaker 3: 03:02 Yeah. And I, you know, and as from, from me listening to what you're saying, it's, it's Kinda like, I guess I'll a dichotomy that you have to balance, right? Like you want to be able to trust somebody else. Like you want to be able to trust what they're saying. Yeah. At the same time you can't take everything that they say, you know, as absolute truth without even like looking at it, you know? I Dunno. Speaker 2: 03:30 Yeah, right, exactly. And you know, I was talking to somebody the other day and they're like, what's with this, this, this attitude, this whatever. And it's like, I'm not going to be run over by people. And it's like that's a weak point of view. Like you're, and this is my thoughts. You're so insecure or, you know, self-conscious or lack of self worth that you're so worried about. I'm going to be run over at every moment possible and therefore to protect myself, I'm not going to stand for this. I'm going to come complete asshole at all times and effort to protect myself. Speaker 3: 04:05 Well, wouldn't, I wouldn't go down that road. This is where I thought about it. People are insecure or you know, I mean I may be in agreement with you. They may be coming from a place of scarcity, right? That may or may not be their own doing, right? Like free will. Right? Like is that really their free will or is that patterns that life has taught them or maybe they learned it from their parents, maybe they got hurt or whatever the case might be. So I, I don't know about all that good stuff, Speaker 2: 04:39 But what's the, but that's the, those situations to me is if you haven't worked on your, your self esteem, your self worth and all these things and those things, when these things happen, you're vulnerable. And because they've happened in the past, you felt that vulnerability and your reaction and to, yeah, sometimes people overcompensate. Right, right, right, right. And that's just, it's nothing against Speaker 3: 05:04 Vulnerability by, you know, either making bold statements or acting rationally. I had a weird story about this couple at a bar, but anyway, but so, I mean, I kind of see what you're saying, but at the same time, you know, it kind of goes back to the whole dichotomy thing. It's like when we have this conversation like, hey look, Tyson, you know, you're my friend so I trust you. Right? But I gotta I gotta verify what you're saying. You know, it's Kinda like when you get a check, like you get a check for like say a hundred box, like, okay, I don't really need to call the bank to make sure that this check is good, right? Like it's 100 bucks. Tyson's promoted, we've got a hundred bucks, but that day you cut me a check for $10,000 be like, hey, thanks ice, but I'm going to call a bank, just call the bank real quick and just make sure that, you know, this is good before I buy a cashier. Right? Speaker 2: 06:08 Yeah. And that, and because our relationship, we've never done such a thing as such a large amounts. There you go. That's it. Like I trust you up to this amount that I know we've transacted in the past, but now I trust that this is a legitimate check. But let me, let me just, before I make a fool out of myself or before I, I give too much, like let's verify funds yet. Right? Speaker 3: 06:30 Yeah. And I see what you're saying about the whole thing is like me as a person, you know, I can't really take offense to that. You know, it's just like you're trying to do your due diligence and like, you know, to the person that is being verified quote unquote like, you know, you kinda gotta like just take a step back for a little bit. And you know, unless you're doing the, the thing of making a false image or false projection of what you are trying to accomplish and it's like, you actually don't want that person to verify what you're saying or how much money because you don't actually have it. Right. That's when you become defensive. Right. And that's another, that's another conversation, right? It's like, so in order for this process to work, it's like, you know, those two people should be comfortable with one another or you know, because this is a wide market audience that we have. Speaker 3: 07:25 Like if you're creating a youtube channel or if you're running a business or you know, whether you're getting into a relationship with somebody, you know it's like there has to be bound. I mean not necessarily boundaries but kind of like the same thing in sales. How they say like you're not being prejudice against somebody but you kind of have to, you know, not necessarily profiling. Profiling may be even be a bad word. Right? You know, but even in the security realm, like when you use words to describe things, like you know, you're not trying to throw somebody into a pocket that's not the, that's not the, the idea when it comes to things like making a security report or you know, making a sales pitch. Like you're not trying to throw somebody in a bucket of pigeon them. You're basically trying to classify people and order things into categories that can make sense, you know? Right. So, Speaker 2: 08:20 And these are just, these are just our learned biases, you know, and that's just whatever our experiences has taught us or our friends or family or parents, society, whatever. And it just something that happens unconsciously. And you know, when you see a certain type of person or certain type of situation, like when I sold cars, it was, you could just see the classic things like, you know, the guys would come in dressed to the nines, like all this stuff and you're like, you have shitty credit and you just see it repeatedly happening. So, right. Because this becomes a pattern that we recognize, you know? And it's not necessarily a good or bad thing and it's not that we have to treat them a certain way, but it's like I walk into the situation knowing from my past experiences when you come here like this, this is what I can expect. Speaker 2: 09:08 And then unfortunately there is going to be some type of jadedness of twit, but you always have to learn that. Like, this is a bias that I have right now. Let's take this through, let's see, let's give you the respect you are due as a human being and let's walk through this process. You want to come in, you want to get into this new f three 50 that's 85 grand. Like that's great, let's go through this. That's maybe that's not going to [inaudible] let's go run some credit real quick. You know, and like lets see, can, can we do this things, can you handle this stuff? And either, you know, unfortunately maybe confirmed my biases or, or negate them and then, but still offering and being, being a human human to human, you know, giving that respect, giving that thing like this is what I see, this is the bias that I'm kind of come up with, but I'm still going to give you that respect. Speaker 3: 09:53 Yeah. And then, you know, and that's just kind of from our past experiences. We kind of learned that through on time. And I guess, you know, for most people that's how they learn. Like they see something, right? We, we talked about the past, right? Causation versus correlation. It's like, is it just because, you know, Speaker 2: 10:13 So when you know, Speaker 3: 10:15 Cause it's ones all comes at a three piece suit. Like then is that really like, is that correlating to, you know, what his credit looks like or whatever, or is that just, you know, a fluke, like, like just something whatever. But I, I mean, I dunno in general though, this, this episode is generally about this dichotomy. Then we have like, yes, you want to trust somebody, but at some point you should take a little bit of time out to kind of verify, you know, either what they're saying or what they're doing. Kind of just depends on the different type of person you are. But I guess because you've got Mr data lock over their questionnaire, then I guess it could start with the sources, right? Either this person it's quoting or whatever the case might be. It's like, so you go and watch Xyz show and x, Y, z shows and like, hey, this is a new thing. And like, this is what everybody's doing. And it's like, okay, I like to show it's entertaining. But sometimes you just gotta take a step back and it's like, is everybody actually doing pat or is this person just saying that everybody's doing them right? Speaker 2: 11:25 Is it, is that the height? You know, and that's the thing too when you're, and this is something that may be, you know, either starting now or in the beginning of, of, of a relationship with a, with, with a internet person, blog, news source, TV show. You know, you've got to take that step, especially in the beginning to say, okay, this is interesting. I like this. It's probably confirmation bias. Like let's go see like is, is, you know you know, Billy Bob's, you know, back from your BBQ blog is this real stock like this, this stuff good. Like, let's go, let's go see this. Where do you get this information from? If you do this, you get that result. Like that sounds interesting. Like, is Billy Bob's backyard barbecue? Like legit? Is he a real barbecue guy? Like is he really into this stuff or is he, you know, you're taking that, it doesn't take a lot of time. Speaker 2: 12:17 It doesn't need a lot. It doesn't have to have a lot of cynicism behind it, but like let's just verify like is this new study that the news is telling us? Is this all it's cracked up to be or is this the spin they've put on it to cater to their audience or is just take a second to just look at it real quick. It's a lot of, you know, a lot of these things are easy to look up and then say, you know what, I can start to build a trust relationship with this source saying they constantly are presenting things correctly. They are constantly presenting things from a truthful manner. You know, there are constantly giving us the whole story. I can, and then you can back down that validation phase because you built this trust up with this person or source and you don't have to keep going. Speaker 2: 12:57 Every time they put out something new and there was a new article, let me go back, check this real quick. I'm like, where's the footnotes before I read this? Like where'd they get this stuff from? You start to build that relationship. Yeah. And that's true. And then I guess from me, cause you know, I'm in the medical field at the moment and this is kind of my thing. But whenever we come across situations in the medical field, we always look to the past. We look to either textbooks that are trusted and we also look to, you know, the latest and greatest recent articles that come out and be like, hey, this is a recent article that was posted and you know, this is what, you know, these are doctors from Xyz hospital. And Speaker 3: 13:36 The study that they did and the study that they did is similar to the patient that we have. You know, why don't we try this new therapy. It's not like we just come out of the block and be like, Hey you know, if we're going to do this new therapy on this gun, just because you kind of want it on a little back ground and be like, well, you know, a lot of hospitals aren't using this paper that was published. And in this paper that was published, they're stating that this is the therapy now for this situation. And it's like when you present things in that manner, kind of helps you, you know, come from that source and that kind of kind of help the other person and be like, okay, let me take a look at the article or let me Google that real quick and let me read it. Speaker 3: 14:17 And you know, you can kind of give you a little bit of information on like, okay, this person is a trustworthy person or you know, you're validating the treatment methods of whatever therapy, x, Y,Z , the therapy. So you know, just kind of understand that, hey look, if you're out there putting out things or if you're reading things out there that are internet, like it's like, where's this person quoting? Do they, do they have a, something on their website that you can click on that will take you right to the information? Like on this website, whenever we talk about book reviews and all that kind of stuff, like we always take you directly to the book or where it is, right on the book reviews. And I have all the other information that, you know, most of the information that we put on our episodes, we try to give you links that can take you further into that and just kind of look for things that are similar. Speaker 2: 15:05 Right, exactly. You know, and the thing that came to mind when we were talking about this is, you know, I think about the opposite of this. You know, people, people build up this authority and this trust with the intent of misusing it. This is true. So I don't want you guys to do that. And I also don't want you to have that cynical view. You know, if you're going to be this person in this industry and this expertise in this thing, understand that people will, will, will cultivate a relationship with you and they're gonna start to trust you like I am. We all have that kind of thing. Like, I know somebody so well if I've never met you, but because of everything you put out and stuff, I feel like we're friends or I feel like I can confide in you in this way, you know? Speaker 2: 15:55 So we build up these things and you know, over the Internet like we used to in our little communities, our tribes and stuff. We build up these people. And so if you're going to be that person, don't misuse this trust that you've got to hold yourself to these standards and say, I am going to be this type of person. I'm going to put out to the best of my ability, the most factual things and most non-misleading things I can do, you know, and are not flip side of that. You know, it's so easy for us to be cynical all the time. And I, I feel like that's where this phrase or this thing is kinda coming from. And I want to, I want to get away from that. You know, I want us to not have to be so cynical and everything is not always malice in the, not always the government trying to get you and have these people trying to get you like, it's an unfortunate narrative that seems to continue to propagate. Speaker 2: 16:45 You know? And I think it comes from this, this lack of, of of verification and validation. And just blindly just, oh, that's a great thing. I read the headline, I hit share on on a thing and I never read the article. Now I also have thoughts about this. I've comments about something like how dare you say this, when, when most times you can tell on, on the look the comments and people, you didn't even read this article, you didn't have anything to do with anything. You know, and a lot of times, you know, when you get to these bigger type, you know, celebrity people, whatever like this, they only re are replying to the first maybe five, 10 15 comments and then that's all they can handle. Speaker 3: 17:19 Yeah, I mean just hands on, you know, that should go v or something. Like right now there answering every single post like right when you get to the, you know, 1 million followers, like when you have all these posts, it's almost impossible. You need like all the answer stuff one. But I mean, you know, let's not get too far ahead of this situation is basically this, you know, trust. But verify is, I think it's a popular phrase now and I think a lot of people lose it and you know, just try to get away from the whole cynicism of everything that, you know, the whole world is negative and everybody's out to get you kind of thing. It's like if you establish things correctly, right? If you don't just freely give your trust out to just anybody who comes along, you know, and you actually, when you meet somebody for the first time or even somebody you've known for a long time, when you get to the next level, right in the relationship or that next level of trust with this person, like make some barriers to that. Speaker 3: 18:23 Like as a, as you out there as yourself, don't just go look like you're like, oh, you know, I watch Hannity and everything he says is great so far. So like on his next episode when he comes out with something new, it's like, okay, you've built that. But if the next thing he says is something way beyond who you are as a person, like don't just agree with it because you, you know, this guy. And be like, okay, look, this is a new level of trust that we're, we're going to, I'm going to need to verify some of the information that you just said. And I think if you can kind of create those barriers or create something for yourself and that nature to the point you know, and do it tactfully too. I mean when you first start out, I may not be as tactical as you want it to be. Speaker 3: 19:04 My, you might lose some friends when you start this validation process, but I mean you have to establish some kind of thing, right? What does that saying? Like if you stand for nothing, like you'll fall for anything, right? Will you kind of have to have something in place so that you know when you feel uncomfortable? Well, I want a situation or when when your trust light is going over your spider senses dangling DDT like they go, okay, I'm going to need a little bit of validation. And the same thing as on the other sips recipient of that. If you're, if you have this great friendship with somebody or you have this great business relationship with somebody and all of a sudden they're asking to validate, like don't shy away from that. Just kind of know that those boundaries are healthy. That's not something that's unreasonable. Speaker 3: 19:49 I mean, if they're asking for like your social security number and your mother's maiden name, like what kind of stuff might be a phishing scam, you know, for the most part, you know, it's healthy to create boundaries. It's healthy to trust somebody. And then when that trust gets to the next level, try ask for a little bit of validation. You know, those kinds of things are healthy. And I guess that's 2 cents on that subject. I don't know. Yeah, I get from my take away from that thought is, you know, create a framework or a couple of lists of rules that you can constantly, a living document. You can constantly update. Like when I, you know, here's some things I like to, I used to validate or verify or whatever and constantly update Dennis. And then, you know, the, the other end of that is, you know, these, how these strongly held beliefs that are easily overturned. Like when new information comes out, like it's okay to change your mind. It's okay to have a new stance Speaker 2: 20:48 And to have a new set of opinions. Like that's part of life caught of growing up. Part of, especially the age we live in with information is so fastly coming on us. It's, you know, it's so easy now for things to pick up papers that get published and research and, and experiments and you know, end of one type things that are always kind of coming at us now. The information is so rapidly changing versus before, you know, like when we were growing up, like in order for new information to hit hit us, it had to go through this, you know, extensive process, get published, get edited. It was years in the making. Yeah. So now, you know, the discoveries made today and it's from frontline news and it's just the new thing everywhere. There's, you know, people are sticking pages into, into books and saying sorry that, that, that, that page is wrong. Here's the new page and it's updated instantly. Everything's, you know, everything's constantly changing. So having this frame where having this, this system you can use to, to think through problems, to think through new information when you're, when you're, when you're being challenged by new information, when something doesn't come your way and it doesn't, you know, tickle your, your confirmation bias and the right way, like say, okay, how do I, how do I validate this? How can I maybe change my belief? How can I need update my beliefs? I set something up like that. Speaker 3: 21:57 Yeah. And I, I'm just going to add the caveat, like don't just change like a whim. Like, as the wind blows, like you just use your mind like have some reasons like Stinson saying like have a process of like, well I used to believe x, but through finding and doing some research, I came up Prague, this and I found this or I talked to so and so and they told me some new information. And after looking through it, like I think I've changed my mind on the subject. Like that's a more, I guess educated concept, that's a more logical way. Don't just be like, oh well one day I feel like this, or one day I feel like that, you know, I mean if you're a rebel you go through, sorry. You know, but in the back of your mind, you know, try to have some type of prompt process you know, as far as what it is and why you're changing your mind, not just, Oh, today I feel differently. So, you know, today my favorite color is blue. When yesterday my favorite color was red. Like that doesn't necessarily make sense, you know? I don't know. Speaker 2: 23:09 Yeah. And it reminds me, it's funny, funny I guess find a company story here. I was watching this documentary on Netflix, it, it co it was whatever was just there and a thing and it's constantly there and I was like flat earth. Like I was like that and it took me awhile. I was like, this is just some moronic shit. And I was like, you know what, maybe maybe there's something to this. Like I want to see what these guys believe. I'm going to come into this like with, with an and an open mind. And I wasn't looking to change my view, but I was like, I want to see like what does it look like from your side? Like when I put on your shoes, what does it feel like to walk this path to what you're thinking about? Where did you guys come up with this? Yeah, it was interesting. But the thing that stood out the most to me in this show was these guys bought this whatever, $20,000 like gyroscope thing or whatever, and they're like, this will confirm the earth is flat and it doesn't spin and rotate, whatever. Like if this shows like whatever it was, 0.4 degrees an hour I think, or something like that. We win. Like we know nothing. Nobody can say nothing about us. So they've set it all up, they're so excited. They're like, Speaker 4: 24:34 Okay, Speaker 2: 24:35 0.4 degrees in our, if not, something's wrong, something's wrong. And they can't do it. Like, oh we gotta do this. And we were like, well put it in the vacuum would do all, I think they cause things and they kept looking for evidence to support their theory versus what was happening was the evidence was so was not supporting the theory. So they kept, and their whole goal and the end of the thing conversation about this particular thing was we're going to figure out a way to make our hypothesis true no matter all the evidence out there. Their goal was to make their hypothesis true. Like we're going to prove, we're going to figure out how to make this thing work to prove, you know, to prove you're right. But every time they did an experiment, they were wrong. Speaker 4: 25:15 Okay. Speaker 2: 25:15 You know, so it's like you gotta, you know, these are things we've got to have to think about. Like, you know, these guys are so damn hell bent on proving the arts is flat. No matter what evidence they produce themselves. Right. They are convinced that they're wrong and the experiment needs to be done again. And it just blew my mind. Speaker 3: 25:37 Yeah. But I mean that's, that's a good, I guess analogy for sometimes people that we meet every day. You know, it's like they just want to sit there and prove that either their point is correct or that they are the best person and any type of argument that comes up or any type of, you know, information that proves them wrong. Like, oh, that's this, that's a bias or that wasn't, that was a fluke. Or like, you know, you just, you hear the excuses as far as like, you know, somebody who's not really engaged in the conversation. Somebody who's not really trying to, you know, take down opinions that are brought up. They basically just dismiss it. Like, I don't know. I see you, there's a lot of people out there and I mean I've been guilty of that sometimes too when I got my heart set on something. Speaker 3: 26:33 Yeah, I definitely try for the most part too. Like the first couple of strikes like okay, let's just put these on the side. But you know, there has to come a point when the data that you're looking at, if it shows that your hypothesis is incorrect, then you know, you've got to start looking at like, maybe it is incorrect. Maybe we have to do this process over again. Like, I dunno, don't just dismiss data because it's not part of your confirmation bias or it doesn't flow with, you know, your thoughts or who you want to be or any of that. Like, you know, you have to kind of take data from what it is and don't just dismiss it because it's against what you want it to be. I don't know. No idea, but yeah. Speaker 2: 27:19 Yeah. And it's tough. It really is. It really is, you know, tough to get. And I think if I feel like, you know, changing your opinion, changing your mind is like vilified a bit, you know, you, you hear that a lot, especially during in like election type things. Like, oh look, he's flip flopping again. It's like, oh, when did that become like a bad thing? Like I have new information, guess what I heck I can change my mind. I've changed my mind. Like there is new information out there that I've gone through and it's like, Oh wow, I was wrong. I'm glad I was corrected. Now I can move forward on a proper path. Yeah. That's not a bad thing. Like stop, stop doing that. Speaker 2: 28:07 It's tough. It really is. It takes practice. It takes, it takes work. It takes that self awareness, that ability to, to, to let your ego aside and say, you know, w w when you can humble yourself to say, you know, I don't know everything, there's so much to learn, I could never learn anything. You know, you start to free your mind to learn new things. You know, there's like good quote from Epictetus, you know, a man can't learn what he thinks he already knows. And it's so true. I mean we, we've all come across this person. I've been that person in times like, you know, let me tell you by ways you're fucking wrong, but then I'm, you lock yourself off to a different viewpoint, a different way of looking at things. Maybe we're both saying the same thing. We're looking at it from two different lenses, but we're looking at the same thing. You know? And when you're, when you're so hell bent and stuck in your position, it's hard to see the view the other person's coming from. Speaker 3: 29:02 Yeah. Yeah, that's true. And I also take into account like I guess entertainment value cause I, I guess you know, for those of you out there that aren't on talking about, I mean, just like, let's just say the news for instance. I'm not trying to say anything bad about people who live by the news then. Right. You watch it all day. I myself tend to have a low information diet cause I have a lot of things going on. So, you know, it's not like I can just sit down and watch the news every night. Like I just, I have so many things going on in my life that that's not an option. So I have to limit the information that I receive and what I don't receive because I don't have time to receive it all the didn't come out right. But anyway Speaker 2: 29:49 You know, but I don't, I don't watch the news for similar reasons. I don't need to be Speaker 3: 29:55 The news. Right. I mean, but do you watch the channel forties? Do you watch Channel Two news? You know what I mean? Like which one is your favorite? Right. Why is it your favorite, you know, and what most people you know, may not understand is that, you know, the news is the news. Yes. However, they have another factor, which is their entertainment value. Like how many people are watching, right? They have subscribers, they, they count these statistics, right? It's like they need people to continue to watch the news. If the news is a quote unquote boring, right? Other personalities that are telling you the news are not likable personalities, you know, the networks have to change these things around. So there is some type of entertainment value that you get from watching the news. I know most people don't think of it in that nature, but you know, try to kind of, you know, the next time you watch the news just kind of tune in as like, is that information that was just released to me? Speaker 3: 30:54 Like is that really relevant to me or do I just like watching these people and this channel and this new station? Like, you know, like it's game of Thrones or something like people watch game of Thrones purely for entertainment. There's no, you know, there's no current events or anything going on that show. However, the news is entertainment similar to game of Thrones and the fact that it's entertaining to watch yet the information is about current events. Also, it takes, it takes a little bit of time to just kind of like take a step back and be like, hmm, I like the show. I like, you know, I like Joe Marr, he's a great guy, but you know, I was like, what he's saying right now, I'm not really jiving with that. And again, as a things are healthy, it's not like you're breaking up with, you know, your news channel or anything. It's just you didn't agree with the one thing that they said, that's okay, we can agree to disagree Speaker 2: 31:51 And it's okay to break up with your news channel who doesn't have one. That's okay. I don't, I don't, you know, get to that type of thing. I don't need the latest and greatest current events thrown at me and fear mongering and whatever else, you know, those things happen. Something that important that happens in the world. It'll come across my table eventually. And sometimes it's nice to, you know, go, go somewhere, go to an event or party, whatever and be like, somebody tells you about something like, Oh, I've never heard of such a thing. Oh my God, let me tell you what a body, and it's like, you can have a great conversation cause you didn't watch the news. This is true. And you're not spending your whole day bent out of shape about the latest whatever thing is happening or not happening or whatever it is. Speaker 2: 32:32 I Dunno. I, I would encourage you to maybe try not watch the news for a week or something. See how that feels like it might be tough for some would be tough for some. Yeah. But, you know, maybe, maybe just it was tough for you. Just don't watch it tonight. You know, instead of watching a six and a seven 30 and eight o'clock and a 10 and a 10, 30 and 11, just skip one. That's true. I'm gonna pick you. Just guarantee you nothing's gonna happen. You'll be okay tomorrow. You need to know about whatever traffic jam or whatever accident or shooting or whatever doesn't affect your life. Yeah, we'll see. I guess down to the next section, pillar, whatever we, we, we were kind of ability, and we kind of talked about this a little bit in the upper category, you know, with, with your sources, you know, you, you, you, you know, each and every one of us are a source of news now. Speaker 2: 33:35 Yes, you've got to understand that you are a source for your friends and maybe even your tens, hundreds, thousands, millions of followers and you've got to have that, you know, relationship with, with your publishing and say, this is something I stand by. This is something that, you know, I'm gonna, you know, I agree with or whatever it is, you know, so be careful you, you are, we all are now accountable to what we're sharing and, and if it's controversial, that's great. I'm glad you're sharing it. If it's something that not popular opinion, that's great. And if it's a popular opinion, whatever the, that's great. But understand your accountability to the people that are looking to you for sharing things. Like if ransom share something that's kind of come across my thing, like I just, maybe the first time I've seen this, you know, cause I'm not following all these other things and I'm gonna, you know, trust, ransom as you know, especially somebody like rants and it does not share it postings like, oh, what's going on here? Speaker 2: 34:37 This is important. This is something I need to pay attention to. Because you know, I know that from somebody like ransom. Yeah, yeah. That's just kind of the relationships that you build. But you know, when we talk about the accountability standpoint and it's like, I don't think a lot of people understand, you know, the power of social media. People just throw things out there and social media, like just for whatever reason, you know, like, oh they just talk about their day. Like, oh, I wanted to go walk the dog and Blah Blah Blah. And then I saw this. And yeah, I mean that kind of stuff is fine, but like when you see something on there about, you know, the latest vaccine that came out and like, you share that post with your friend, like, you know, before you do that, maybe you might want to just take a little bit of detail to be like, is this really true? Did this really happen? Yeah. You Speaker 3: 35:38 Know, and this and that kind of thing because then that kind of takes effect to how people see you as a person, right? I mean, yes, it is social media. It's not real. I mean, unless it's on Facebook, I mean like, you know, people are posting all kinds of things nowadays and it's like, oh, you just automatically share it or you automatically like pictures on Instagram because that's your friend. But like, if the picture is something that you don't really agree with or maybe something that you don't think is appropriate, like maybe you shouldn't like that picture. Right. That's okay. If you know two out of the last 20 pictures that your friend posted that you didn't like, like that should be okay. Yeah. That should be okay. Speaker 2: 36:29 Yeah. And there's a lot of power in that. I heard, I heard a story whatever week or so ago that about this, this teenager that killed herself because of a pole, she put out an Instagram like, you know, there's power to that and yeah, be, be aware of that. And, and you know, now I think it was New Zealand or something, they are looking at everybody that voted for her to kill herself. They looking at holding them criminally liable for her death. Ah, you know, so be aware of what, you know, not only what you're sharing, what you're posting, but what you're responding to, you know Speaker 5: 37:06 Okay. Speaker 2: 37:07 You may be liking it for, for whatever reason, it's not clear, but what's happening is these, these, these algorithms, these systems, whatever it is, they're saying, this is something you like, you agree with, you want to be a part of. Here's more of that. Here's more validation in that. But what you were just doing, like grants were saying was just being nice to my friend or are I like Billy Bob's barbecue. So every time you post something, I'm just going to like it. You know, you've got to be aware of that. You're signaling to the system, to everybody that this is something you know that we want more of in this society. Speaker 3: 37:47 Yeah. We're going to go too far down the rabbit hole and just so you know, but just take a second. Yeah. Hey, that post came out. This is kind of good information that I want to share with everybody. Let's just take a half second to look at it and then again as you develop this process, you just be like, hey Billy, Bob's barbecue came out with something new and we're going to take a look at it. Okay, cool. Some similar comes out, you can already just bypass that. But again, yeah, when you get to the next level we're like, oh now he's talking about a or Ebola being in a certain like meat factories across the world. Like before you go sharing that like, okay, let's validate this again and just this makes sure like go check that out before you start sharing that because it may be wrong or this information well and then once you verify that level it's like okay the next time they have a food warning I can put that up because I know that they're legit and that they do that. You know what I'm saying? Like Speaker 2: 38:43 Yes, from that source I know all the time like they have with me. Tim, Tim Ferris, I, I, I've spent how many years with him quote unquote, you know that I know from past experience that every time he puts out a recommendation for a book or a product or service like I don't need to spend, if at all, anything validating. I just need to say, oh that's interesting. Is this something that's going to serve me and my goals and purposes and I don't need to check out the four or five competitors cause he's already done that work because I know how he operates and I can just go, yes I was looking at getting this new thing. I can just get this one. I don't need to worry about the competitors cause he's already flushed that out for me. Yeah. So you build that relationship and like I said earlier, you can also be on the other side of that. You know, people come to start to know, like, and trust you and you can easily manipulate that, you know, intentionally or unintentionally. Speaker 3: 39:43 Yeah. Okay. Well, I mean I, I definitely the, I dunno, I dunno Tim Ferriss that well, so I'd probably have to check on a lot of the stuff that he says. But then again, that's my, that's, you know, my process. I haven't, I'm not in that trust barrier area with him. I read a few of his book books, but other than that, I haven't really spent much time on the, on the interwebs looking at this stuff. And I guess for me, I guess before we close out, I just kind of want to talk a little bit about something I learned in my English class. Thanks so much. All those college years. But I mean, you guys may have heard of this before, may not have, but you know, what type of person are you? You know, like for Tyson, he's like the data lock person. Speaker 3: 40:28 Like he likes the data dome, you know, looking at all these things. So if you are into the numbers, right, you're into lots of data that kind of heads towards, I guess we'll call it the Greeks or whatever, right? Towards the logos, right? So it's the three ones I want to talk about now are logos, pathos and Ethan's. Okay. So, you know, you can just kind of call it what it is and then everybody's like, man, it's gonna be crazy. What are you talking about? But anyway, so when you hear people talk, you know, on either their website or in person you know, however you interact with them, like if they start talking about a lot of numbers, like if their number orientated or if they're detail oriented or if they can tell you specifics about how things happen. Like this person is probably on that local stream, right? Speaker 3: 41:20 So they kind of look at the data and information and they can support everything that they're saying with data, right? But when you go towards the path, those paths is a more along the lines of the, I guess I'll call it the emotional realm, right? So when you're talking to people who are in the path, those era, like everything's like about like, oh, when that dog died, it was so sad and like, oh, it reminded me of my dog. And you know, when I was growing up with my family and my house and my grandma's like, these types of people are headed more towards the path that was, right. So they kind of pool and drag on your emotions to kind of bring you in, right? And then you have the last section here, which is ethos. So ethos is kind of like referring to, you know, either authority figures or figures of authority or in general basically rules that kind of govern certain areas or, or do certain things, right? Speaker 3: 42:18 Consequences, those kinds of things. That's more towards the ethos, like towards authority or coming from a place of power. Those kinds of ends of things. So, you know, if you can kind of just bucket, these are three little simple things that maybe you can use today. To Kinda like figure out your system of how either going to trust or validate person. Like, you know, like I like x, Y, Z, why do I like them? You know, you can kind of think it is it, is it because of the information that they give you the data or do I like this person because like I'm in line with their emotions. Like, you know, they, they have a way to move me emotionally or is this a, you know, like is this actually x, Y, Z company of place of authority? Like are they the place to go? Speaker 3: 43:07 Or everybody goes to like Google, like you want to search something, you go to Google to search here, right? Like, you know, those kinds of things like, and maybe just something you learned today and there's Kinda give you a little bit of tools on how to help figure out, you know, which bucket you're in and you know, how do you trust people or how do you, how do you drive with, with people and or websites or in your business, you know, you might find out that, but your personal life, it's all about path those. But when it comes down to business, you're looking at logos, man, you know, like, let's show me the money, baby, show me don't Mt Name I am Mr. Black people. Speaker 2: 43:43 Yeah. And then with that tool you can use that as a way of communicating with others as well by knowing what type of person they are. You can use those three buckets to either, you know, sell them something or, or, or recommend something to them or whatever it is. Communicate with them. You can come from whichever one of those buckets they are and then you'll have a lot easier time communicating with them. Speaker 3: 44:12 Yeah, yeah. Let me just, you know, bringing, bringing awareness in the show. That's what we absolutely can you like to do. Speaker 2: 44:18 Yeah. And if you're looking for things that we like, we validated, we we recommend check out this month's giveaway always in there. You know, [inaudible] trying to hook you guys up with, with whether it's a product or a service or books or whatever it is that, that we love and we think we'll help you with your 1% growth, whether it's monthly, weekly, or daily. You know, we want to help you know, improve your life. Whether it's, you know, by adding value to your life by aiding you with being more effective or efficient, whatever it is. We're always out there. We're constantly reading, doing things, adding things to and taking the things from our lives. We want to share this with you. Head over to the social community and.show/pick me. Check out this month's giveaway. See if that's something that you want in your life and entered a win. And if you, you know, know something that we should check out or whatever it is, send it our way, you know, shoot us a link, whatever it is, and we'd love to check it out and see what's available for the next month's giveaway. And then I don't think we really have any, I can't, I never came up with any books or different things. Speaker 3: 45:31 Yeah, it's a hot topic. If you just kinda youtube and stuff like that, you'll, you'll see. But again, you know, you'll see it from all different points of view on though we talked about on this show. But yeah, there's, you know, for us, this is kind of like our way of saying it and how we feel about the subject so it's not really, you know, you can just click on the rewind button, not understanding, but yeah, we don't really have too many links, but again, you know, we are community based. If you know something else there put it in the comments. If you're listening to this on podcast, you know, obviously you've got to go through another method. Speaker 2: 46:08 Shoot, shoot us an email. Whatever it is, however you want to get ahold of us. And we'll, we'll gladly check it out, verify and validate and add to the show notes. Yeah. Awesome. So, and then that leads us to this week's challenge. Yeah. I, we challenge you folks to find either method or strategy to build trust, become or be trust worthy and trust others. You know, with this episode, my thoughts and goals was I want to bring back trust to our communities. You know, I want to bring back your word means something because you stand behind it. And when you shake my hand, when you shake somebody's hand, a deal is done. No contracts and necessary because you live up to your word. Your word is your bond. I think that is the society we would all like to live in. And I think it will help us become more connected as we should be. And that's my challenge for you guys this week. Be the person that we can trust. Be the person that others can trust and bring back these hard fast. We know when you say something and you do something, I don't have to look behind me and the thing twice. I know you're going to handle it. Speaker 6: 47:38 No. Awesome. Speaker 3: 47:40 And then that takes us to our final thoughts. I know we talked a lot about trust and validate on this show already, but the thing that we also have to look at is what we are trusting and what we're validating. Speaker 2: 47:53 Yeah. Speaker 3: 47:53 And how we are going through that process. Yeah. Words, images, pictures. These are all ways of communicating with each other, right? This is how humans have evolved and lived and stayed on top of the food chain forever. Right. As we pass information onto one another. So just remember, you have to look at this information for what it actually is, right. Without judgment, without prejudice, without bias, you know, and kind of just see it for what it really is. Once you can see things for what they are, then you can kind of begin to find the truth. Speaker 6: 48:32 Yeah. Speaker 2: 48:33 So just to, I'm sorry, go ahead. Go ahead. And, and if you're looking for others to build this bond, help and or validate whatever it is, any information in this episode, share it with them. Let's get this movement going. Let's make trust viral share. This is the best way to help show is to share it with others. If you're finding what we do interesting like it, he was to review, let us know how we're doing. Good or bad. It's Oh, case feedback. I love feedback. And if you want to see what we're up to in between shows, you guys can check us out in the social community and show on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Also, there's a video version of this on youtube. Like you can subscribe there or you can listen to their podcast that makes you subscribe. Whatever your favorite podcast it is, where there for not let us know. Get us there. And for past episodes that links everything we talk about here today, you can visit the social chameleon.show and until next time, keep learning, keep growing. Keep transforming to that trustworthy person you want to become. Speaker 1: 50:20 [Inaudible]. Connect On Social This podcast is available on… Anchor Google Play Music Breaker Castbox Overcast Pocket Casts RadioPublic TuneIn 32: What you should know about…Things Around The House 21: Side Effects Of Your Goals 46: Batista Gremaud: Co-founder Of The International Institute Of Body Design 27: F*CK WORK GO HAVE FUN! 78| Jessica Yarbrough: Business Growth Strategist 65| Book Review: Latte Factor 9: E & S Cashflow Quadrants PT 1 49: Ronan Leonard: The Mastermind Guy 48: Resist your instinctive reflex to complain and find a better solution! 44: Is 32 The New 40?