Who’s To Blame

On this episode, we want to play a game with you from the storybook The Pigman. It’s a murder story, the characters are, a husband and wife, her lover, a boatman and the assassin. After you hear the story you decide who is most to blame and this is supposed to tell you what you value most in life. It’s a fun story and exercise that can lead to an interesting decision amongst family and friends. Join us as we wander down this road and find out who’s to blame.


Story and picture below


The Murder Story


From the book The Pigman

"This is going to tell you what kind of a person you are." He drew a diagram on a piece of paper and laid it in front of us. I thought he had completely flipped.

"I'm going to tell you a murder story, and your job is just to listen." When he drew the skull and wrote "ASSASSIN," John perked up a little."There is a river with a bridge over it, and a WIFE and her HUSBAND live in a house on one side. The WIFE has a LOVER who lives on the other side of the river, and the only way to get from one side of the river to the other is to walk across the bridge or to ask the BOATMAN to take you."One day the HUSBAND tells his WIFE that he has to be gone all night to handle some business in a faraway town. The WIFE pleads with him to take her with him because she knows if he doesn't she will be unfaithful to him. The HUSBAND absolutely refuses to take her because she will only be in the way of his important business."So the HUSBAND goes alone. When he is gone, the WIFE goes over the bridge and stays with her LOVER. The night passes, and dawn is almost up when the WIFE leaves because she must get back to her own house before her HUSBAND gets home. She starts to cross the bridge but sees an ASSASSIN waiting for her on the other side, and she knows if she tries to cross, he will murder her. In terror, she runs up the side of the river and asks the BOATMAN to take her across the river, but he wants fifty cents. She has no money, so he refuses to take her."The wife runs back to the LOVER's house and explains to him what her predicament is and asks him for fifty cents to pay the BOATMAN. The LOVER refuses, telling her it's her own fault for getting into the situation. As dawn comes up the WIFE is nearly out of her mind and decides to dash across the bridge. When she comes face to face with the ASSASSIN, he takes out a large knife and stabs her until she is dead."

Who's to blame? The picture of the murder scene in the Pigman story

"So what?" John asked.

"Now I want you to write down on the paper I gave you the names of the characters in the order in which you think they were most responsible for the WIFE'S death. Just list WIFE, HUSBAND, LOVER, ASSASSIN, and BOATMAN in the order you think they are most guilty."

Mr. Pignati had to explain the whole story over to me (Lorraine) again because it was too complicated to get the first time, but I ended up listing the guilty in this order: 1. BOATMAN, 2.HUSBAND, 3. WIFE, 4. LOVER, 5. ASSASSIN. John listed them in this order: 1. BOATMAN,2. LOVER, 3. ASSASSIN, 4. WIFE, 5.HUSBAND. 

"So what?" John repeated.

Mr. Pignati started laughing when he looked at our lists. "You both picked the BOATMAN as the one who is most guilty in the death of the woman. Each of the characters is a symbol for something, arid you have betrayed what is most important to you in life."

Then he wrote down what the different characters represented.

"Because you picked the BOATMAN as being most guilty, that means you're both most interested in MAGIC," he said. "I'm glad I picked the boatman," I said, blushing a little. The order in which John liked things in the world was supposed to be magic, sex, money, fun, and love. The order in which I was supposed to prefer these qualities was magic, love, fun, sex, and money. I thought that was sort of accurate, if you ask me. So John and I laughed a lot for the Pigman, making him think we thought the game was two tons of fun. It wasn't bad, but it certainly wasn't two tons of fun. But he always had to do something to try to top us. The longer he knew us, the more of a kid he became. It was cute in a way.

  • Wife = Fun
  • Assassin = Money
  • Lover = Sex
  • Boatman = Magic
  • Husband = Love

The Pigman

61| Who’s To Blame 161| Who’s To Blame 2


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Episode Transcriptions Unedited, AI Auto-Generated.

Speaker 1: 00:15 Opening Music

Speaker 2: 00:15 Welcome to the social community and show where it's our good help you learn growing and a person want to become. Today we want to talk about who's to blame

Speaker 3: 00:24 Is to blame. Hm.

Speaker 2: 00:28 Please. There's a fun little book, ransom ransom a suggested as I do is a nice little story in there and goes through a scenario and then it's got some, I guess different outcomes at the end and then it, by picking whatever choice you pick, I guess it tells you it's kind of a, about yourself. Is that correct? Ransom?

Speaker 3: 00:47 Oh yeah. I guess the, for those of you out there that may have read a book, I know my, it's for me it was kind of like forced upon me as a, as a high school student by my English teacher. But for some reason I always like remembered this story out of the book and I'll get is the pig man. Good book is called the pig man. Yeah. And then there's a story in here, which we'll, we'll go over. I'm going to tell you guys a murder story. And then from there, so you know, we'll go over this story. And then from there, you know, from the outcome it's supposed to kind of tell you what kind of person you are are. But I guess over the years since I've been doing this since high school, like I Kinda just like to tell this story and like I guess see how people react or like, you know, seeing what the reasonings behind. But anyway, nonetheless. But so we can get into this real quick. Oh, go ahead.

Speaker 2: 01:41 I read the story, but I did not read the answers and I did not take the quiz. So we're going to do that kind of like live in a way on here. I'm going to go through, when I answer I pack and we're going to go through what that means. So ransom knows the thing, I know the story, but I don't know anything past the story. So I think it's been kind of fun. We'll see what craziness I come up with and are then be fine. And I'd like to challenge you guys to pause when we pause and then if you haven't read the story, if you haven't done it, go do that and then join us back when we resume the episode to find out the answers.

Speaker 3: 02:12 Yeah. And then from there, I guess if you're watching this on some type of video media, whether it be Facebook or youtube or whatever the case, our website originally Tyson, we'll be sharing, I guess the image so that way you don't necessarily, you don't have to sit there with a pen and pencil or drawing it. Yeah, I guess if you're at home listening to this and you know, only have the audio source without the video and you know, you're not near a computer or whatever you know, you can, I guess get out a pen and paper if that helps you. Or this is a rewind double source. So maybe just rewind about three or four minutes after the stories told and just Kinda so you can get an idea, kind of go over it, but there's five characters in general. And basically, you know, you'll just be with those five characters. But anyway, so I think we have already here Tyson. Yeah, we ready

Speaker 2: 03:04 For the video guys. I'm going to share the image right now. So what the image is is a little like a stick drawing, whatever it's got in the upper left hand corner is a house that says wife and husband. And then if you go down a little bit on that left side, there's an assassin is a bridge over a river. And then in the bottom right corner is the lovers house. And then in the middle right is the boat and the boat man.

Speaker 3: 03:29 So that's was the set up of, of the picture and the story here for you to podcast or board backdrop for for those of you that have the bonus effect. But yeah, if you don't, I guess we can go ahead and go through with this little murder or story here and see and unravel all the mysteries within. Anyway, so the set up for it is there is a river with a bridge over it and a wife and her husband live on one side. The wife has a lover who lives on the other side of the river and the only way to get from one side of the river to the other is to walk across the bridge or to ask the Boltman to take you. So one day the husband tells his wife that he has to be gone all night to handle some business in a far away town.

Speaker 3: 04:20 The wife pleads with him to take her with him because she knows if he doesn't, she'll be unfaithful to him. The husband absolutely refuses to take her because she will only be in the way of, his important is so the husband goes alone when he's gone, the wife goes over the bridge and stays with her lover. The night passes such a wonderful evening and the dawn is almost up when the wife leaves because she must get back to her house before her husband gets home. She starts to cross the bridge but sees the assassin waiting for her. On the other side. She knows if she tries to cross, he will murder her in terror. She runs up the side of the river and asked the boatman to take her across the river, but the Boltman wants her to buy a ticket and she has no money so he refuses to take her.

Speaker 3: 05:20 The wife runs back to the lover's house and explains to him what her predicament is and asked for some money so that she can get a ticket for the boat. Man, the lover refuses telling her this is her own fault. You're getting yourself into the situation. And as dawn comes up, the wife is near the, out of her mind. She decides to dash across the bridge and when she comes face to face with the assassin, he takes out a large knife and stabs her until she is dead. Done. Done dog. So again, if you guys got to do a rewind story, the story is probably about maybe two or three minutes long. And so your job as your listening to this story, and for those of you that heard it and maybe wrote it down, is there a five characters in the story? Right? We have the wife, the husband, the lover, the assassin, and the boatmen. So we're just kind of naming these characters in any order way, shape, or form. But it's your job. If you choose your mission, should you choose to accept it is to place these characters in the order that you think are most guilty or the wife's death.

Speaker 3: 06:48 So why don't you guys do that? And go ahead and pause the tape, Tyson. Now we'll go ahead and pause, we'll go over our answers and then from there we can all come back together and meet up and you know, you can go over the answers and see what's going on with that. Perfect.

Speaker 2: 07:05 We'll see you guys in a second of, of actual time

Speaker 3: 07:10 Our time. All right, I'll see you there. Magical abilities of editing and magic presence of time. I guess you didn't pause the tape and you didn't do the exercise that you're supposed to do. This is your chance. Stop it again. Stop it right now. Don't know. We're not going anywhere. I'm sure you get things done before you continue. Otherwise you might miss them. Here we go.

Speaker 2: 07:40 So none of us have talked about this at all. We don't know what our answers are. I've never gone through this exercise at all. I, I purposely stopped reading the book at this right after that story ended. Skip right past it onto the next chapter. So I don't know how it ends or anything like that. Ransom does my list in order of most to blame to at least the blame wife, lover man, assassin, husband, ransom. What is your list?

Speaker 3: 08:13 I think it's kind of, maybe this is why we're friends. We both put the husband as being blast. That's why we're friends, but we're awesome there. Yeah. So my order was wife, assassin, lover, Oatman and husband. I see. That's just kind of, I mean, first and last we're kind of similar. That's why we're friends, right? By law, I dunno. So I guess for me and the big take what I wanted to share the story with everybody. It's Kinda like the process. Like I'm always intrigued by the process of being something, but like I guess did you want the answers for or did you want to go through the process on it? I don't know. You're running the show here. Whatever you think is most valuable in whichever order you think is for me. I guess I just don't want to kind of give away, but you know, we'll, we'll get to the answers and have it, you know, I figured we'll just go through the answers.

Speaker 3: 09:09 Okay. So that answered, okay. The wife, each of the characters is supposed to represent some thing that you value in life. Right? And the way that you order the characters or responsible for her death is supposed to dictate, you know, which values you put in life first, which is kind of interesting. Okay. So not saying anything about you is not a foolproof test and the book was written like 20 years ago, whatever the case might be. But anyway, so if you pick the from life, then that represents fun. Okay. If you picked the lover that represents sex, if you picked the boat man, that represents magic. Okay. If you picked the assassin, that represents money and if you pick the husband then that represents love. And this person first does that. If you pick that person first or whatever order you you. Yeah. So whatever you, whatever order you did.

Speaker 3: 10:20 So I just have mine here. I picked the wife, the assassin, the lover, the bolt men than the husband. So the things that mattered to me in my life according to this test is fond comes first, then money comes first, then sex and magic, and then love. And I'm like, that's mine. So That's interesting. Okay. Yeah. So that's just Kinda, that's just Kinda, you know how the tape goes, but you know, for me, I like, I always like going over like why? Like why, why did you pick the life first? Like to me, that's, that's the important question, right? Why did you go first? You asking me, well, why did you go through all of it? Why, why did you pick the life? She's ultimately responsible. She chose to leave, go across the bridge and fuck off, you know, behind her husband's back. It's your fault, your problem if you, you stay at home and you know, if you have problems at home, you're unhappy marriage like you should've solved that.

Speaker 3: 11:25 Like going to run across the bridge of your lover's house isn't the answer. Like, like so ultimately to blame, you chose to be whatever it is you want to call it, unfaithful, whatever or, or, or scared or or no guts or whatever you wanna call it. It took to get out of that relationship or fix it. That's your problem. You chose not to do that and instead to go fuck around on your husband with a lover. So everything that happened after that, your wall, we get it ever out with your husband. Okay. You said it multiple times, but anyway,

Speaker 2: 11:58 But whatever choice you, she made from there on out, like you didn't want to deal with the problem and so everything, all the things after that is all your fault. I don't know. But then like another person

Speaker 3: 12:11 Jump in and be like, well, let's just be real here. The assassin's, the guy that killed her, like if she was most responsible for it, like he's the one who killed there. So in a court of law, yes. The he's guilty for murder. Yes. Provided they found the murder. I mean if they find the bird it'll be murdered if not attempted or whatever, but sure. Yes. Right, right. But if she wasn't crossing the bridge, there would be no toll to pay. This is the kind of part, and this is the part that I love about telling this story and this is why, you know, I like all of these things. It's just, it's like there are so many things that could have changed in the story. And for me, I guess I ultimately, I was going into pick the assassin first because he's the one that killed her.

Speaker 3: 13:13 But you're, you're right though. There is an element, right? She's the one that decided to do what she did. She didn't have to run across the bridge when the assassin was there. Right. She could've stayed on the side, her husband come home, you know, all those kinds of things, you know you know, but then let's, let's take a look at the lover and a boat man. It's like if we, the boat man, like, like how hard is it to just be like, oh, you don't got a ticket now I want you to jump on. You know what I mean? Like,

Speaker 2: 13:42 Which, which is why, I mean, which is why I debated between the WHO's next most responsible lover or boat man. Like where's the like to me, both of them are fucking dicks. Like Ivy, she didn't convey the severity of the message. I don't know. It's hard to say, but, right. So let's just say she did a good job, like pleading or whatever, and it's like, I can see the board, man, man, listen, lady, get your problem. I don't know if I believe it, but I hear what you're saying. But listen, I gotta run a business. If it comes up to me with a sob story trying to cross the river for free, I'm not going to make it. Right. So it's like I saw, I was like, okay, I gotta bump you down a level. So it's like you go to the lover's house and it's like, even if that was some stop story like to get across the bridge, right? Like maybe there's, you just had intercourse with this guy and he's not going to help you cross the river. Yeah, I mean right. So it's like you couldn't throw up a five 10 bucks. Like alright listen, like you got this story you want to cross, you want to get in a boat. I get it. Like I'll throw you a 25 call you in an Uber. Like I would like you to come back here.

Speaker 3: 14:52 I'd like you to come back here another time. Like I enjoyed this. Like it's worth like a Uber ride. Like it's, I'm okay with that. Like so like that's why I chose him as to like, I think that's kind of, I think there, I think I'm in agreement, they kind of in similar circumstances, I never kind of really put that together. That possibly maybe the lover because they have a connection or because she knows her, the story should be more believable and whatever the case might be. But yeah, I'm in the, in the same boat for me, the lover and the boatman can easily be inter changeable, you, whatever that is. But then the, oh sorry, go ahead. My husband last though. Ooh. Oh, how does he have nothing to do with it?

Speaker 3: 15:39 He could've taken her with, he could've taken her with him, but why? All the problems I have to work with you. Cause she's like scared to be at home alone. She usually wouldn't have cheated. She wouldn't have got killed. It's not his fault. That's not his problem going wouldn't have been beggar. Like, come on. That's not, how is that not a problem at all? Him leaving to go to work on a business trip, whatever has nothing to do with other things in their life or relationship or her problem or like, like is he responsible for their relationship being shitty? Absolutely. He's 100% how are you gonna go on business trips? I'm like, leave, leave. Leave the wife alone. Like, you know what I'm saying? But you should be able to go on business trips. Like what? I Dunno, I don't want to back up my whole family to go, go on a business trip or go on a talk or go to a meeting.

Speaker 3: 16:25 Like let's place to come with me. You got to pay all expenses. Paid vacation to Dubai. Like seriously, you want to want to bring your wife and kids? If I could make a vacation out of it, absolutely. If I could make a trip out of it. Absolutely. Why would you be in disagreement and Obama about him taking her with like, I don't know, but I don't know man. Okay. See and that's kind of the part and seeing like, you know, I mean just, just to rattle the title, I don't, I don't want to drag this around any longer than it needs to be. But see this is the interesting part of the psychological process. This is the interesting part where, you know, it's between the lines, like when you go over and you think in your head like, oh, he could have just taken her and like, you know, Oh, you know, or maybe it relates to like, oh my husband or my wife doesn't do that for me and blah blah blah blah blah blah. It's his fault. It's his fault. Like, you know what I mean? Like these are the things that create these values, you know what I mean? So for whatever purpose it is, you know, and sometimes it's just the way the story was tone was is told because the original story is 50 cents, but you've got to remember this was written awhile. That's 50 cents across. Or like nowadays, 50 cents is like nothing. Like I give somebody 50 that's your fault. Number one.

Speaker 3: 17:45 I, that's why I left the dollar value out and just said she didn't have any money to buy. The ticket could have been 50 cents, could have been $500. Who knows? The point was that they weren't going to give her a ride. So anyway, like I just find it interesting to go through that process. I don't know. Do you think is kind of interesting? It is. It is. Cause you could easily justify blaming every person on this list. Like you went assassin, number two, you know I was the Lukoil assassin, number one because he's the guy, let's be real. Let's be real. No, but she decided to run across the brain. Right. So guilty of the crime and being responsible for the crime may not be the same thing. Oh doc key. Like seriously, that guy holding a knife didn't kill her. Like, Yo come on, you killed her. I'm not denying the fact that murder was committed not to. The murder wouldn't have been committed.

Speaker 3: 18:48 He wouldn't murder somebody else. You wouldn't have been the person murdered if you weren't stepping on your husband. You weren't all fucking off of you. Whatever. I get what you're saying. And that's kind of why I put the wife first cause she actually ran into it. Right? She can call a feeling that shit was going to happen and she did it anyway. Just kind kinda what I do. Maybe she should have listened to more like Jocko and just took Jujitsu and maybe she could have made some nice defense tactics. I don't know. But there we go again. It's all on her. Like maybe she maybe instead of making love, but the guy that owns the house, she just should have had a love affair with the assassin and this just could have been avoided or the bullpen, there's opportunities here.

Speaker 3: 19:31 But anyway, again, the whole point of this situation, which is why, you know, I thought I'd make this stuff on an episode and kind of like for whatever reason, you know, you can sit here and justify as many reasons as you want to. Who's the guilty party and all of these justifications and believe it or not calm from something that's deep within and it kind of stamps from this whole process as to things that you value in life. So just looking at my buddy, cause I know him. Fun Sex magic. I'm actually surprised money was not at the top of your list. Yeah. That's kind of ironic. I can't blame the man, but that's Aston's assassin's the money. That's fine. I was trying to try to pry it too, but, but surprisingly enough from me, like love doesn't come high on that list. But I mean I guess if you look at my relationships, I mean by this all account of this, it's like love is the last thing on the list.

Speaker 3: 20:30 I May, I can't see that being too like, yeah, I don't know either. I don't know. When you give up a lot of these things, you know what I mean? Easily for my children or for my close friends or for my wife or you know what I mean? Like I brought it speaker. If you look into a deeply like I definitely agree with fun being as like your number one, your fun guy rather than me. Lots of fun together. That's why we do national show. You know, but again, number one, just the person that you picked as the number one spot is probably the thing that drives you most, which is kind of interesting. The rest of the list, I'm not really sure. It's just kind of meant to throw you off that you could actually pick something. That's number one, which is kind of cool.

Speaker 2: 21:14 But I don't think though, to me, ultimate lesson I'm drawing from this is is it starts with you. Like if you're spending your life blaming everybody, blaming others, it's everybody's fault, but my own like, guess what? You're going to end up murdered on the side of the bridge. Metaphorically speaking, hopefully not literally. I wish the best in everybody is on Thursday. All right guys, if you need help, dude, call somebody's situation, go call somebody. But anyway, it all comes back to you. The decisions you're making, the choices you're making, the people that's influencing these things, the information being put into your mind, the things you're doing with your, with your body, and all these things factor in to what's going on in your head. The thought processes that go on, you spend your whole life blaming everybody. It's not my fault that grass has increased. Not My fault. My boss is an asshole. It's not my fault. This is nothing's my fault. Guess what? You're right and everything will always be your fault and you'll always have a shitty life because guess what? Wherever you go. There you are.

Speaker 3: 22:17 Yeah. But I mean again, I'm not trying to get back to blaming you. I'm not really a big person on blame. You know, their thing is in all this kind of stuff. It's just, just realize that you can justify just about anything, right? There's deep seated values inside of you that are causing these justification for different things. So you know, it's not necessarily, well in this case blaming anybody for being responsible for this lady's death. It's more about finding the reasoning behind. Again, that's kind of why I like to go over like why did you pick this? Why did you pick that? Like, cause these kinds of things will, will kind of help bring out what you value in your life, which is kind of interesting. Anyway, you want to pause the tape real quick and then we can go over real quick

Speaker 2: 23:04 With balancing things and you know, things you value. We, we like to go out there and we like to find product services, books, whatever it is that that brings, brings value to your life and brings these things to your life. Every month we have a giveaway and I'd love you guys like to jump in there. You guys can help with social media and that shows, I should pick me why name, what we got going on. We were like, like I said, to bring things that bring, you know, help improve your life, add value to life. You make your life more efficient, more effective, whatever it is. Get into this month's giveaway. We want to help you guys accelerate your growth, accelerate your things. Whatever we can do to help. We want to do check out this month's giveaway, the social community industrial slash pick me your chance to win this month's giveaway.

Speaker 2: 23:42 And like I said, I'm in the beginning of this. I will, I'll link the book a, the photo of the thing and I'll have all the obvious story. I'm in there so you guys can easily read it. You guys can share with your friends. You guys can discuss this, it around and talk about it and see what you guys come up with. I'll, I'll link to our, the, the whole, the whole thing for you guys. It's easy to get to. So you guys can talk about that with your friends. Anything else ransom for that? No, that thing, I think those are all good things to put an effort on links. I think I, I kinda want to put the answers but maybe we'll just, maybe we should hide the answers in the comment section. Yeah. You know what I'll do? I'll hide the answer.

Speaker 2: 24:22 So it's not plain as day when you're just scrolling through. You have to click something and let it open up and the answers will be in there for you guys. So it's okay. That kind of works. I don't want people to have the answers right on the comments, but the story should definitely help you to check out the story. I'll lay the story out and I'll have like a little box that you can click in and open up the text file with the answers and how they all kind of go down, you know? That's fine. I think, I think you guys can have a good conversation with friends and family and you know, maybe it's not about necessarily the, are these values 100% true? Maybe, maybe not. But the, the thought of of it about it, like the thing I like about is like where, where, where are you? Where's the blame? Who are you blaming things for it? Like that's to me, like that's what jumps out of this. Like where are you passing the buck? How are you thinking about these things? I think it has a phone there.

Speaker 2: 25:13 And then with this week's challenge, I'd like to challenge you to take a look in your life and what, what are you blaming other people for? Are you, are you passing the blame to others? Are you not taking responsibility for what's going on in your life? You know, everything and where I look at things, it's all 100%. It's always your fault for whatever reason it is, you know, either either, you know, you're allowing this, you're not training, you're not being, your communication is wrong. Whatever it is, it's always your fault. If you can start there and say, why did this go wrong? You know, what did I do wrong? What did I not do right? And stop just looking around and just blaming everybody. It's easy to blame everybody else. It's hard to look at ourselves and say, it's my fault and where did I go wrong and how can I make sure it doesn't happen again.

Speaker 2: 25:59 That's the challenge I have for you guys this week. I want you guys to to look around and see where you're passing the buck and start putting the finger back to yourself. Yeah, and I guess I just going to add a caveat onto that challenge is like there are many situations and where there are things, there are a lot of factors that are out of your control. You know, and I challenge you even further in those situations where everything is out of your control. Look at what you could have done and look at something that you did, maybe was attitude you had, or maybe it was a solution that you came up with, but look further than that. Yeah. And then rolling right along into our final thoughts. You know, just in this right,

Speaker 3: 26:43 We give you the answers, right? The wife equals fun and right, the lover equals sex. The boatmen equals magic. The assassin equals money. The husband equals love. Okay. But in real life, the answers aren't given to you on a silver platter. So these things that you are blaming these things that you're looking at, you know, they kind of correspond with something else that's inside of you and only you know what that is. Yeah. So you kind of got to dig deep and, and find the answers to what it is you're blaming, you know, and that'll kind of help you on your journey and you want to grow. I think that's it.

Speaker 2: 27:25 And if you can help other people even have a discussion or help them grow, share this with them. The best way to support the show is sharing with others. If you'd like to. What we've got going on here, you're welcome to leave a Lichen, a review on your favorite podcast app as well as Youtube, Facebook, whatever you like. You can connect with us between episodes at the social community show on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter also, and don't forget to subscribe on Youtube and your favorite podcast app for past episodes and links to everything we talked about here today. He visited social committee in that show. Until next time, keep learning, growing and transforming into the person you want to become.

Speaker 1: 28:30 [Inaudible].


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