Book Review:

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff & It's All Small Stuff

Richard Carlson, Ph.D

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff & Its All Small Stuff

During his life, the author Richard Carlson, Ph.D., was considered one of the foremost experts in happiness and stress reduction in the United States and around the world.and was a frequent featured guest on such shows as Oprah, The Today Show, The View, NNC, CNN, Fox, PBS and over 2000 other shows. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff continued to be a publishing phenomenon with over 20 titles in the brand franchise, two of which were co-authored and authored with his beloved wife, Kris. He died of a pulmonary embolism in December 2006, at the age of forty-five.

The words "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" have become a part of American Culture thanks to Richard Carlson's book that became a runaway best-seller and made publishing history as the #1 best-selling book in the United States for two consecutive years.
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff spent over 100 weeks on the New York Times Best-Seller list and is still considered one of the fastest selling books of all time and has sold over 15 million copies worldwide.

If your new to books in this genre, this can be a great starting place. If you've read books like The Power Of Intention (EP20) or The Secret, this will be a great refresher or maybe a skip. Just listen to us talk about first 😉 

Ep 30 Transcript

Tyson: 00:00:05 Welcome to the social chameleon show, where it's our goal to help you learn, grow, and transform into the person you want to become. Today episode 30. Man, I can't believe we're on 30 here we are. Book Review Time. Don't sweat the small stuff and It's all small stuff by Dr Richard Carlson. I guess a little quick thing on him during his life, Dr Richard Carlson was considered one of the foremost experts in happiness and stress reduction in the United States around the world.

Tyson: 00:00:36 I don't understand how that could be, but what they say expert.

Tyson: 00:00:46 This is a fun little book. It's, it's Kinda cute. Um, I like to think of it, uh, when we were chatting about it. It's like a, like a field manual. Um, I guess I don't know what a field manual. It's just kind of something like a military term where just like a reference book kind of thing. We can carry it around with you, you know, pull it out and, and do.. what About you. What you, what'd you think?

Ransom: 00:01:07 Yeah, I mean, I guess because I've read a lot of books like this, say like we did power of intention. Right? And it's very similar to that, the secret, those kinds of nature's like, it's this, it feels a lot or like more of the same. Um, but I guess if, if I don't know, man, it's like, it's like, you put the tape in I don't know if those of you watching, I don't know your age range, maybe I'm showing my age, but back in the day you have these things called cassette tapes you know guardians of the galaxy. You put that in and like you listened to site a and you're like, alright. And then like you flip, flip it over to side b and then like it's not side b, it's just like side a all over again.

Ransom: 00:01:58 Like I flip the, flip the tape again and you're back on side a and you're like, dude, where's side b like, I'm waiting for a side b. So I don't know if I could shed a little light on the book. You know, not trying to say that it sucks. I mean if you've never been introduced to stuff like that, either the power of intention or the secret or things that are kind of heavy on gratitude. Definitely read this book for sure, but it had tastes of those before. This book is probably just more of the same. Say it, but it's probably a skip. But again, I guess shedding light on it. When I read power of intention, that was more of a spiritual book. Like I told you when we did that book you, I wasn't even sure if you were going to watch it. I was like, I was like, dude, I like this book. I don't know. It feels kind of spiritual and more religious, if anything. You know what I mean?

Tyson: 00:02:54 Yeah. It was, like I said, then I'm in a different time in my life. I would've told you to go fuck yourself, but I enjoyed it. And then this isn't so much.

Ransom: 00:03:06 Right. That's what I mean. Like this book is not that religious, right? Yeah. It doesn't have that spiritual feeling, but it has a lot of the same principles, which, you know what I mean? If you're not into religion or you got turned away from power of intention or secret because it felt. And I mean, your ritual for you, this book would probably be a lot better to swallow maybe.

Tyson: 00:03:29 Yeah. And that's why I was saying, um, it's like a field manual, something, you know, it's easy to pick up. There's 100 like bullet point things you could just kind of skim through those. Find something you're kind of struggling with. They're looking to improve and get that real quick,

Ransom: 00:03:46 kind of like a bit intense. I maybe just say like a pocket book to have a good one. One of those books that, you know, it's just on the shelf and you're like, I haven't looked at in a while. You just grab it, flip to it and be like, okay, let's read, let's read what this is today. Just random page flip through it and do you know. But trying to get the good stuff out of it. Other than that, this book was very, very repetitive, repetitive, repetitive and more repetitive if I haven't repeated myself. Did you feel like it was a little repetitive? Yeah. But I mean, you know, I guess without further ado, we can kind of dive into it.

Tyson: 00:04:33 Well, before I'd like to kind of preface something, um, people, you know, even before I used to shy away from things like I already heard that already know that and what I've learned kind of is sometimes it's good to drill those down because you're always going to come up with a new, a new thought or a new Aha moment. So don't, I wouldn't say don't shy away from, you know, I read this book, I'll never read it again or I've seen this, I'll never do it again. Like sometimes you'll go through it again maybe a year or whatever later or something. Maybe it's been a while since you've read something like this, you know, pick it up and be like, oh yeah, I forgot about that. Or Oh yeah, you know, um, I, I should start doing this or whatever. Like, you know, a Bill Walsh like to say knowledge is rarely imparted on the first attempt, you know, so, you know, don't shy away from that second or third round of a book or, or, or, or a passage or something like that. You know, you're always gonna. You always had the opportunity to pick up something new from from it.

Ransom: 00:05:25 Yeah, I mean definitely as the time goes by, like you change and as you change the info receive changes. But again, I'm reading this book through like I read it just in the last maybe three, four days. Like just, you know, more of the same message to the book. So again, a little pocket book, so call it just kind of flipped through pages here and there and just pick something up and be like, Oh yeah, I knew that, but you know what, thanks for the reminder kind of thing. That'd be probably be the best.

Tyson: 00:05:58 I know when we were kind of going through this will we um, the book is in broken up this way, but we felt that we pulled out some themes from it. Maybe he should've done this, a few different themes and kind of group group things together.

Ransom: 00:06:12 I think he just kinda threw it in there at random, you know, for the purpose of that. But yeah, definitely. You know, item one on the list and then item say like seven. And then item four, like they kinda follow similar themes. Book isn't done this way, don't please don't think the book is organized in any which way, shape or form in this manner. Again, we were just trying to express that the book has a lot of repetitive information anyway, so first theme would be granted. Um, I kinda like this first bullet point here that we have a, he just talks about, you know, the theme of gratitude. And one of the bullet points in, within that theme is tell three people today how much you love them. You know, if you were to die in one hour, there's three questions, right? Who would you call know, what would you say? And then the last question is, why are you waiting? You know, it's like, Ooh, like, well, why are you waiting?

Tyson: 00:07:19 Was this, get your phone out. Start texting some people, Mommy, you love her.

Ransom: 00:07:26 Yeah. Or you know, maybe you haven't, you know, I haven't talked to my brother in a while. I just, you know, pick up the phone or just even send a text message. You'd be like, Hey, you know, um, but this is just one good example, right, of kind of the ongoing theme of this is like, you know what I mean, they could get you to kind of think about what to focus on. A lot of that is kind of coming from a place of either gratitude or peace or something of that nature. So on and so forth. Um, you know, and again, one of the other bullet points he talks about is write a heartfelt letter to somebody, you know what I mean? Like you see how those things are Kinda the same just said in a different manner. But like, you know, the book is kind of all about that. So just, you know, if you're trying to read it like you would like Harry Potter or something that's not gonna work out for you.

Tyson: 00:08:17 Yeah. This is a book you could easily skip around and look through the table of contents and it's like I said, there's 100 things. You can just find something that is interesting. You can just bounce all around this book.

Ransom: 00:08:29 Yeah. And again, like I said, these are just kind of a similar what are there, what are the other things you've got here is gratitude.

Tyson: 00:08:37 Imagine yourself at your own funeral. Oh, okay. Wow. Like what will people say about you? Like what? Um, what, what, what, what was the thing? I was doing something this morning and I was like, I'm pretty sure there's gonna be one day soon where you're not going to go to do anything you're going to face anymore. Like are you doing. I was like, Oh Dang. I was like, we were talking about before like that bucket list and stuff. Like why are you waiting? Like, what are you doing? Like say magic. Like what are people going to say about you at your funeral? Like, are they going to miss you? I'm like, is anybody going to remember you, you know, like are you reaching out to people?

Ransom: 00:09:11 You know what I mean? What do you want to be remembered by? What do you want others to remember you for?

Tyson: 00:09:17 Even if you're not, I mean you don't have to be famous to be remembered it, but your family and your friends, you know, you'd be like, Oh man, I was like, the best data, here's the best brother or sister or cousin or whatever. It was a friend and it's like he was always there to help. He's always reaching out and sending me letters in Texas, how you doing? How's everything going like me? I'm horrible at that kind of stuff. Like I just, I just get, get going my day and it's like, you know, some I'll bump into somebody or somebody shoot me a message. I'm like, Dang, how are you doing this? Like, why don't you call him? I'm like, why don't you call? I don't know. Sorry.

Ransom: 00:09:48 Yeah, but I mean just that kind of stuff, you know, again, focusing on the whole gratitude and positive energy kind of thing. Some of the other ones as what spend a moment every day and think of somebody to think. Right? And it's just like, again, this is all about being grateful for things in your life and kind of focusing on the good things. You know, I myself can't stress that that's one of the better things in life. Like you can have everything in the world, like, you know what I mean? You can, you can make your goals, you could set out your goal, but you know, if having in enough is never going to be enough if, if you're not grateful for what you have, you know?

Tyson: 00:10:32 Yeah, absolutely. Once you bring gratitude into your life and you make that up a daily, if not maybe weekly practice the things in your are your views on things and things you go, it's just going to change so dramatically. Like just being so grateful to wake up, to be able to have the money and the time of leisure to be watching us and learning from what we have to say and getting ideas. Like there's a lot of in this world that just don't have that ability, you know,

Ransom: 00:11:01 for sure. Um, and I think, I think that was even in Wayne Dyer's book, right? Changed the way you look at things and the things you look at. What change. I can't again, can't stress that enough. This book does a really good job of drilling it into, you know, what are some of the other things that are like gratitude.

Tyson: 00:11:27 Thank. Thank you. The people around you and, and, and you know, all the different things. You know, one of the powerful things is the first thing when you wake up in the morning, if you make that part of your practice, you know, you wake up and just be thankful you woke up because I looked it up a few weeks or a month ago, like 3000 people everyday. Don't wake up, you know, like I think it was just in America now, maybe not worldwide. Like titus was asking me, you know, about it and he lives. Look this up, you know, all these kinds of things. Like anybody going to wake up and say you had a place to sleep. Maybe it's not the greatest, but whatever, you know, there's so many things, especially when you first wake up, when you set your day that way. Like I'm going to set my day up to be grateful for all the things that are going to come, the problems, the good, the bad, the misfortune, the learning lessons to failures. Like you can be grateful for all that from the first get go in the morning.

Ransom: 00:12:21 And that's one of the things that, you know, again, I like to shed light on this book is this, it's, it's kind of a spiritual peacefulness without being so religious or spiritual in this kind of do you like about it and you know, all of this positiveness and coming from a place of being grateful and abundance, like it has a chain effect along the lines. Again, one of the things that he puts in there is just smile at strangers, actually smile at them and say hello. It's like that. Just that nice warm hello. And if you're genuine about it, like, you know what I mean? That person might, is that person at the office is always like looking down and walking by. Like you actually look at them and say hello. They might actually look back up and be like, wow, like, that guy knows who I am, you know what I mean?

Tyson: 00:13:11 The song. Hello. I just think of Mr Miyagi. Look, I look buddy, like the reactions to people would be walking in and they're like, fucking Weirdo. What are you smiling at me?

Ransom: 00:13:39 It's just where they live their day to unfortunate that that's where they live, but just real and that's kind of out there and people like these kinds of books is because you can live your day like that. You know what I mean? That was like, what's wrong with you? Like he may have a million dollars, you may be unhappy or happy, sad, frustrated, you know, it's just weird.

Tyson: 00:14:10 Be Weird. Smiling people. Wave. Hi. Yeah, I did all the time. I guess sometimes I get highs back, sometimes I get creeped, you know, like

Ransom: 00:14:18 whatever works and keep going. And then I guess one on one more bullet. I'm trying not to beat this dead horse, but along the same lines of abundance and gratitude is just practice random acts of kindness, you know? Um, get out there and just see the sense of this.

Tyson: 00:14:37 You need, that's out there. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. After, after reading these last few book reviews, we did the way there and these other things. I went to the bank, I got 50 bucks in ones and I just keep it in my car and I just pass it out. Was like not at the Strip club. Strip club man. I got some weird looks at the bank like, here's your one sir. I'm going to give to strangers, [inaudible] candy, you know, candy and cookies. Huh? Man. What's been fun? Like you get some weird looks but it's like whatever is fun. Like, you know, I've been having fun with it.

Ransom: 00:15:22 Yeah. Um, I always like tip. Um, like, like the minimum amount of tip I give us 20 bucks, 20 bucks, 20 percent for some reason. And like if they do a good job, I tip him even more, sometimes 30, sometimes 50 percent is weird. Don't tip them unless they do a good job. But I'm just saying we're not, we're not, we're not here to be Mr White just because society deems you to you. You don't have to tip. I'm just saying it's a random act of kindness. I'd rather do that. It's like that person is not expecting. It's like waiters just doing their thing. Whether they get good service or not, whatever. Give them 50 percent tip. You know me, it's like whoa. Like that person would have never expected that. It's like hopefully they don't just be like, oh see a suck money. But

Tyson: 00:16:12 it doesn't matter. That's the thing I learned in. I don't know which book it was. Like what does it matter what the person does with the money when she gave it to them. Like what? What does that concern of yours? What is that? Your Business, they want to go buy drugs or drinks or hamburgers. What does it to you was like, oh I liked that. Like that's clean cause that's what my own thing too. I was like, I given this fucker minimum money, like you're just going to do dumb shit. Like, and then I was like, you know what, what does it matter to me? I do dumb shit all the time.

Ransom: 00:16:37 Yeah, it is. But um, yeah. I don't know. Again, this book has a lot of repeat stuff in it.

Tyson: 00:16:44 Should we go back to the beginning of this section and.

Ransom: 00:16:47 Yeah. So about, about gratitude. Gratitude is another. No, hell no. That's Kinda what this book is about. Like, seriously? Yeah,

Tyson: 00:16:56 there's a lot of heavy and that's good. I mean a lot of good ideas. A Lot, a lot of fun stuff you can do freak people out, go smile at him and hand him fucking $2. You're just going to blow somebody's mind.

Ransom: 00:17:09 What does that guy's gonna rape me. But I guess theme number two that I kind of saw throughout and again, these are all just positive good vibes kind of thing. It's just they have this thing about like trying to just pause and let things be also known as patients. Patients master what will one over here, it's not going to patient practice.

Tyson: 00:17:44 Little children will help you practice patients.

Ransom: 00:17:47 Uh, yeah, that, that is definitely true. That is definitely

Tyson: 00:17:51 they try.

Ransom: 00:17:56 Is that going to happen? But um, yeah, so some of the bullet points here as far as patients go or kind of a, I like this one, a success kind of cool. It's like repeat to yourself, life isn't an emergency. It's like, yes, a lot of times people. I mean it is an emergency, right? It's like man, I gotta go to work today or what? I mean like, Oh God, I gotta wash my clothes today. I gotta do this. I gotta do that. Like, no,

Tyson: 00:18:24 you don't gotta do shit. You just don't hear it all the time. I got to do this stuff as good. Don't actually a couple of people that like, you know what, I actually don't.

Ransom: 00:18:39 Well then you have those, you, you have those people out there is like, no, no, you don't understand. It's like, listen lady, you're causing your own stress here. I'm not saying anything to you. You're just, you're thinking about this in a totally wrong way.

Tyson: 00:18:56 I got a quick story on that. Um, somebody, somebody told me this other day, so I guess a friend of theirs got a call from the irs like, you, you, you a thousand dollars if you don't pay in 24 hours. We're sitting the cost and weren't. She's so freaked out. She's like, oh my God. She went to the bank, went to target and bought a bunch of gift cards and, and gave it to them. I'm like, what? Why does the irs, the itunes gift cards do the whole thing? She was so panicked cause it was such an emergency to hurry up and go get this done. She didn't stop to think like why does the irs won a thousand dollars in gift cards? I wasn't talking about standards. I know, but I'm just saying when you live in this, everything's an emergency. Like you know, you can't stop and, and you know, think for that second and saying, no, this isn't, it isn't an emergency. I don't have to go through this. Like, stop for that second, take that five or ten second breath is okay, what is going on? What do I need to do? How do I need to move forward?

Speaker 3: 00:20:05 So at that time,

Tyson: 00:20:09 does that mean here? Is that you? Oh, that's. It might be both of us that tested a national wireless emergency alert system. Sorry guys.

Ransom: 00:20:16 I don't know if those of you guys are out there in Honolulu, but it's definitely not a missile warning

Tyson: 00:20:23 to apparently we have a tropical storm here in Arizona too. So I thought that was interesting.

Ransom: 00:20:28 Yeah. So yeah. Alright. So maybe everybody's phones going off right now. Yeah. But you know, other things he's got on this bullet are, you know, your inbox is not going to be empty when you die. Yeah. That was one of my favorites from the book. I've been using that one. It's like no matter how hard you to get that thing empty, like in five seconds you're going to get another email.

Tyson: 00:20:51 There's always going to be more work to do. There's always going to be something

Ransom: 00:20:54 I was like, is it really, really important that you clear that inbox before you go home,

Tyson: 00:21:00 before you go to sleep in your bed? How? Yeah, I dunno. It's like, oh, I'm ready to go. See. Okay, I've got to hand this one before I go to sleep. You're never going to sleep. I turn off my phone like I don't care.

Ransom: 00:21:13 Yeah. But uh, again, so, you know, kind of similar themes with all of these is just a life's not emergency. The other one is like experiment with your back burner. I'm just kind of put things out there and your back burner,

Tyson: 00:21:27 you know, let them, let them sigma, Sigma Tau Sigma Tao and that's a good thing to a lot of times when you're stuck or you got a problem or you, you're struggling with something like taking that time away from it. Like let's put this in the back of my mind. Maybe go for a walk or go to sleep or whatever. Like, you know, let your, let your mind just like churn on it, you know, in the, in the, in the subconscious. And then you're gonna come up with an answer or solution or you're going to forget about it. It wasn't that important anyway. So,

Ransom: 00:21:54 and sometimes you gotta step away from the problem to like get enhancer again if you're in this whole life is in emergency mode, this new problem comes along and like in this panic and your friends eat like you're in the wrong state of mind. Like sometimes just know what I mean. Like you think you need it right then and there, but

Tyson: 00:22:11 just wait for a little bit and the answer will come. Well, what's that other one too? Um, when you don't have to take on other people's problems, you don't have to catch the ball or something like that. Yeah, yeah. Right, right. I thought that was, I was clever to because it was like, you know, somebody calls you or emails you or whatever. And it's like with their problem, you don't have to make it your problem. You don't have the answer or the solution or whatever.

Ransom: 00:22:35 A lot of times people feel good about that. Like for me, like when people come to me, like I usually can take on the stress of things to solve that for them. But you know, you don't have to as completely and utterly up to you. I mean, this may be a dear friend of yours and maybe a family member, like maybe your dad asking you for money or maybe your neighbor trying to sell you their toaster. What might be, um, you know, this don't like that. Uh, you don't have to, you don't have to get involved with that. Take it back, put it on your back burner or just tell that person, hey, you know what, just give me a second, um, you know, and I'll get back to you. Like you don't have to take that on.

Tyson: 00:23:25 Yeah. Reminds me talking about why did the day she was stressing out about some work things and just talking to me and I was like, oh, I got solutions. And I was like, this isn't the time. Like I think she just wants to like let this out and I just should just listen. But those solutions on the back. But I was like, if you just like, just time out for like five seconds right now I'll and I'll solve all your problems. And then I'm like, but you're not looking for problem solving, you just looking to talk. Right.

Ransom: 00:23:53 Okay. I'm just trying to get that out in bed. And sometimes that's important to say yes. Sometimes you just gotta be aware of what other people don't jump to conclusions about what it is. A needy there. Now some of the other good things to say, here's a brief before you speak, it's like in that situation where you know your wife's stock into you. Like if you just want to take a moment to breathe and be like, I, you know, instead of just being like, Hey, I got your solution is just be like, you know, she just keep going and you'd be like, oh, she doesn't really need that problem solved. This is the next problem. You know what I mean?

Tyson: 00:24:28 That was, that was my, that was so hard for me to just be quiet and just listen and not say anything. I was like,

Ransom: 00:24:38 good job, what else? But yeah, I mean also breathing has like physiological and effects on the body as well. Helps get oxygen in there, those kinds of stuff. And

Tyson: 00:24:58 you can, there's different techniques for calming yourself or whether you're mad or stressed out or whatever. There's all kinds of cool breathing techniques for different kinds of things like that.

Ransom: 00:25:09 What are some of the other things he had on this whole patient?

Tyson: 00:25:12 Oh, doing, doing things one at a time. We all, we all know, we like to multitask. Which there ain't no such thing. Tasking everything.

Ransom: 00:25:25 Yeah, that's true. I'm kind of makes you a bit more efficient. But yeah, again, that teaches you to kind of put things on your background. And he was like, I got this list of a hundred things to do today. Okay. On the back burner.

Tyson: 00:25:40 And that's like, like we've, I'm sure we've talked about before, like setting out, you know, after end of your day, work day or whatever, how you want to do it. Setting your thing that here's the six things in the order of, you know, the hardest to Lisa whenever I need to knock out tomorrow if I get, you know, these three or six, no more than six things done to everything else in tomatoes. When you know, sending those out, getting those done, finding the time of day where you work the best at problem solving and creativity and you know, making your day so that you can be tackling the task you need to tackle at your most productive time.

Ransom: 00:26:18 Yeah. We talked about that before. I guess another bullet point of finding hair just like practice being in the eye of the storm. Then it's like anything's going on around you. It's like, you know, you just got to kind of slow down and just like, I mean, you're in the eye of the storm right now. It's like nothing's hidden you immediately. It's like this is where it gets calm, but then I got to practice being there with all things going around you

Tyson: 00:26:45 is on the outside of you as you sit through the middle where it's beautiful and nothing's quite happening

Ransom: 00:26:52 and a lot of people I don't think realize that you can put your place there. You know, we were talking about earlier. You don't have to grab the ball every time. Somebody is coming to you with this outside chaos. Right? That's outside of, you know what I mean, like Indian practice being in the eye of the storm. You actually realize that you are in the eye of the storm is right there. Now it's up to you to walk into that storm. You know what I'm saying? Keep it at bay. Yeah, just keep it at bay. Just stay right in the eye and just let it kind of swirl around you. I mean there's times when you got to APP, but for the most part, again this book is about just being positive and being grateful for things that are out there. And this is just one of the themes too is like sometimes you just kind of got a pause and let things be.

Tyson: 00:27:35 Yeah. And understand that I'm being in that darkness or going through those crazy things like there's going to be good at good at the end of that and you know, understand that. Believed that to be, you know, be the truth and life's not always going to be a shit storm.

Ransom: 00:27:50 Well, there are, there are times,

Tyson: 00:27:53 there are times, absolutely. We all go through it. We all have it. I don't care how rich or poor or whatever, you are. Literally sometimes a little too much. A crack and coke out. I have my fair share. I guess Kinda the last thing in this section was get comfortable not knowing. So many people have to like pretend like they have an answer. I've been guilty of that a thousand times. I know the answer to this. I'm going gonna make some shit up. Maybe even

Ransom: 00:28:26 gotta have the last word or not. Something like you just got to make up. You just say it with confidence. Like. Yeah, right. Like sometimes you sound more confident. You just like, you know what? I don't really know very much on that subject.

Tyson: 00:28:41 Yeah. Or even even the classic, you know, kind of, you know, I don't know, but I'll get back to you. Yeah, I think that's more respectable. It's like he knows what, he doesn't know that. That's awesome. Talking about the side of your ass that's clean.

Ransom: 00:28:56 Yeah. And some people are looking for that. You know, like if you're just going to come up with something, um, just, just despite whatever. And it's like, I don't know, just kind of depends.

Tyson: 00:29:09 And then what the next section that we have here that we, we broke out was a priorities. Priorities. Choose your battles wisely.

Ransom: 00:29:18 Who's your battles wisely? And this is a part where you either make it a big deal or again, if you can see like how all of these themes are similar and if you choose your battles wisely, like make it a big deal. Let it go. It's like Kinda like practicing being an eye of the storm.

Tyson: 00:29:39 Yeah. It's not an emergency.

Ransom: 00:29:43 Again, this book is a rather repetitive.

Tyson: 00:29:51 Are you getting exhausted of repeating yourself?

Ransom: 00:29:54 No, I'm not because I know I'm not repeating myself as much as this book. At the same time, you know, kind of trying to pick themes along the lines and just kind of give you a gist of things. Um, the book is a little bit more random, just puts things here and there.

Tyson: 00:30:15 That's good to know when it's time to just sit back and be quiet and there's power and letting, letting people just bullshit themselves into their demise. You know, there's power there, you know, letting, letting people, you know, uh, showed her true colors or whatever it is. You don't have to get involved. I know it's hard. I got to have a hard time with that shit sometimes too, but you know, it's a good something

Ransom: 00:30:40 like if somebody's looking for a solution to their problems, sometimes if you just kick back and let them talk, they'll kind of come up with a solution to their problem.

Tyson: 00:30:51 Yeah. And they'll talk to them. I've been in sessions, whatever, coaching people. Then it's just like you just talked yourself into the solution. Like I didn't even have to say a Dang thing

Ransom: 00:31:02 know. And it's just like, you know, you can't win. Every battle is a possible, you know, and even if you win every battle, you may lose the boar. Ironically, you know, you gotta yeah, you gotta focus on what's important. That's another one of these bullets as prize, like focus on what's important to know what's important to you so that you can fight that battle versus the ones that aren't important and they're irrelevant. Better way that you don't have to pick that ball up

Tyson: 00:31:32 or even understanding what is in your control, what you can control, what's out of your control, you know, understanding those things to help you. Like is this something that I can directly control their behavior outcome, whatever it is. And it's like, you know what, I can't, this is not my, you know, I might not mind domain or whatever and it's like this isn't a battle for me, you know, I, I'll, I'll, I'll do, I'll work where I can work on myself and the things that I can directly control and influence.

Ransom: 00:32:01 Yeah, for sure. Again, you know, these are just kinda some of the themes and as you can see, you know, if you're listening to this, some of this stuff might be repetitive or whatever. Um, but testing and I kind of added a stuff that we thought was cool stuff like either newer or stuff that hasn't been heard as much as the rest of the book has been. So uh, why don't we share on some of that?

Tyson: 00:32:26 Yeah. Surrender to the fact that life isn't fair. That's some shit

Ransom: 00:32:34 his like, here's a here's a well qualified of everything life owes you, and for those of you on podcast, this piece of paper is blank.

Tyson: 00:32:47 Plaintiff owes you shit. Pretty much. I don't care what you think and nobody God damn thing. Even that trust when you guy, nobody will use that shit either.

Ransom: 00:33:01 But I mean, you know, I think, you know, if you can surrender to that back then that leaves you open to gratefulness. No. And you just, you happy for things that you do have because you know, in actuality you shouldn't really have anything.

Tyson: 00:33:18 Yeah. A lot of people listening. I mean you're, you're lucky for no choice or action of your own born in America. Most people probably on here are middle class or more like a lot of times that ain't nothing to do with you. Like you just were lucky parents in the situation you were born into or you recognize that, uh, I can work my ass onto the ghettos, you know?

Ransom: 00:33:42 Oh yeah, whatever the case might be. You don't need to compare yourself to others or anything else like is just, you know, it, he is a self defeating emotion. You're going to feel sorry for yourself. Guess what? You're gonna. Feel like our sap. Yeah.

Tyson: 00:33:59 And nobody. Nobody gives a shit about that. Like you and me for my care.

Ransom: 00:34:03 You gotTa, you gotTa stop there. Uh, some of the other cool things I hear is like, allow yourself to be bored.

Tyson: 00:34:10 That one man. I mean, you know, it's funny, I was been kind of hearing that trembling a little bit lately and I'd be like, what is this thing like that is, that is interesting stuff. Like we're so, I mean it's so easy nowadays to never be bored and you know,

Ransom: 00:34:28 that's just part of who we are. Right? It's like as soon as it's like, as soon as you get home as a, Oh, I've got to watch that episode and as soon as I got to go cook dinner, got do laundry is,

Tyson: 00:34:39 or I'm standing in line here, I got to get my phone. What's on here? I don't want to be bored. I got to keep myself entertained for the 14 seconds. I'm in line at the grocery store. I've been trying to do that one. Like, um, I, I was uh, I was listening to a podcast and it's like really like heartfelt moving thing and I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna shut down right here. I sound like another like 30 minute drive home. I'm just going to shut it down right here. I'm just going to let that sit all the way home. That was fricking hard, man. I was like, it's been like seven minutes now. I should throw something on. And I was like, Nah, let's just ride that through like that. That's tough to do.

Ransom: 00:35:17 Well, I mean most people think right now having something to do is going to be like the end of life, but that's not true. Before the Internet people were, they did things. We're there yet. Are we there yet? I like some of the other things is like this guy says is boredom eventually it upgrades. It's a piece.

Tyson: 00:35:38 Yes. But it's funny, like when you, when you get bored, you're just allowing your mind to, to relax and just be free and kind of unwind a little bit and, and start to wander and all these things you have maybe on the back burner, whatever going up. Oh, there it is there that there's a solution or there's this idea like they just pop up.

Ransom: 00:35:59 That's why you have that notepad right next to your bed right before you fall asleep. Right.

Tyson: 00:36:03 I woke up in the middle of night and be like, Oh Dang. And then just wake up in the morning. But like what was that about?

Ransom: 00:36:11 But yeah, I dunno, I kinda like that one reminds me. No, that's a good one. Reminds me of infinite waters. Just like p.

Tyson: 00:36:25 no, that's good. I like that. I was, I was trying to tell my daughter like she kinda, she was just on break and she's just plowing through to international, you know, that Kinda Kinda over the Internet for like the rest of today. I was like, you should be board for like 15 minutes. She's like, I'm going to do that. I'll say just try it, it's good for, you know, I'm going to go read a book. And I was like, for like 15 minutes.

Ransom: 00:36:55 Most people struggle with, you know, wha, what, what comes next? You build little anxiety when you don't have it and everything. So next cool point that I like is lower your tolerance for stress. Do. That's a, that's a big dog.

Tyson: 00:37:10 That's a, that's such a huge problem with your health and your wellbeing and your happiness and that's, that's, that's a key key key to life.

Ransom: 00:37:22 Because I mean most, most of us today, we look up to people who can handle high stress environment, you know what I mean? Just the kind of stuff we watch movies about and where we, you know, our boss is able to do this so we kind of want to be them.

Tyson: 00:37:35 We go to a seminar or a class on managing stress,

Ransom: 00:37:39 right? And it's not really about you, it's about how to take on more stress for most people. Don't think that, you know, maybe we should just try to lower the amount of stress in our life, right? Like being, not being able to handle a lot of stress, like that's actually a pretty good quality and if that's who you are, you've got to learn about that and learn that part of who you are and you got to learn ways to limit the amount of stress in your life.

Tyson: 00:38:05 That's what I was talking to somebody with the day is like, are you looking to add more stress to your life? Like you're creating these things and adding this stress as a things have calmed down and you've gotten to groove. Why are you trying to create this stressful environment? And then they're like, I don't know, like you're so used to being in that, that, that, that heightened state of awareness and a heightened stress is like when it's gone away, you're like, like supposed to be like, I need to take on more tasks.

Ransom: 00:38:39 No, you don't stop. You learn to get all your tests done. So you're constantly in this state where you don't have.

Tyson: 00:38:48 Yeah, there's um, like I was reading, I've been reading a titan. The the is about, it's about um, John D Rockefeller and how and how he, how he would, you know, he would take naps in the middle of day. He would go off on walks and stuff and people are like, what are you doing your work? I need time to settle my brain down and stuff. I can't be, go, go, go all day long. Like, and other. He knew about that in the late 18 hundreds. So I was like, that's pretty hot.

Ransom: 00:39:16 Yeah. It's like, you know, sometimes you end the stressful situation when I go take a walk, go outside, take a breather, take a walk and just get your mind off things and then you might find all when you come back to your job or whatever it is you're doing, like your level of stress is higher because you just kind of relieve some of it and just took off a little bit.

Tyson: 00:39:38 Now you, you'd be surprised that like taking a break and taking a stroll or whatever, you know, you'll start to come up with solutions. You'll see, you'll see problems differently. You'll see different, different avenues of opportunity they have. So many things that come with that is it's really, really amazing. Once you want you to let your body come down and you're going to be like sound, I am a doctor, but you're going to be healthier. You're going to, you're going to feel better and you're gonna. You're gonna sleep better to so many things that come come through is good. I only play a doctor on the Internet people,

Ransom: 00:40:10 so these other bullet points. I just thought it was funny, but think of someone as a baby. No Baby Jesus. I don't want to pay to have Joel adult. Jesus prayed a little baby. Jesus right now, he's all small and omnipotent. Saw little cute little manger. They're baby teeth. I just thought that was funny if you know the movie reference, but if not, you know, it just kinda like when you talk to a child like or when you're talking to a baby, like they don't know what's going on. You know, you gotTa, you gotTa sometimes think in that capacity. Not, not to degrade people and say that they're stupid, but at the same time you just kind of, you, they don't, they may not realize what you realize. I mean they may be kind of caught in this little storm, so I have you say it and they can't find out a year outside the storm so you can already see either a problem to the solution or what they're going through or whatever.

Ransom: 00:41:15 But I mean like sometimes you just gotTa have, like Tyson was talking about, are there patients you got to have patience with. People sometimes just think of them as like a little tiny baby or whatever. It's a little gimmick, but you know, well I take that back if you like babies thinking that if you hate babies, maybe that's not the thing to do. But you know what I mean, like just being small, they play for joy for whatever full of happiness will enjoy, don't really know what's going on in the world, you know, that kind of stuff.

Tyson: 00:41:47 Yeah. You know when you're, when you're dealing with other people, you looking at other people and things understand. I think about like, you have no fucking clue what's going on in their life. Yeah. You have no clue. You know, they could be in the midst of a divorce. Their child could have just been run over by the school buses, weren't. You have no idea what's going on their way and get them to give them that respect. Like, you know what? I'm not sure. Even though you may think they're, they're, they're, they're fucking up at work or they're dumb or whatever. Like Damn Sally just doesn't get it. Maybe I don't know what the hell she don't get. That's true. You know, I guess I was talking with my wife about this. She was like, she was getting frustrated with this. Well, whenever coworkers, and I was telling her, I was like, did you try asking her?

Tyson: 00:42:31 Like if she, if she understands that the role and the duty her job, she's like, no. So then the next day she went to work and she's like, I asked her, why don't you do this? She goes, nobody's ever showed me. I've asked several people. She was like, well, let me show you real quick. She was like, thank God I been a year. She's like, I've been mad at this lady for a fucking year. I thought she was a moron. She just had no idea how to do it. I was like, you let this go on for a year. She's like, yeah, as in his stupid now. I was like, yes. It's like, and it took her 15 seconds and lady was so happy. Somebody finally showed. She's like, I gave up learning how to do this because nobody would show me. She's, she's, she's telling me she thinks she was skipping through the, through the hospital and she went and she's correct all the mistakes that she had made. She said, I finally know how to do it. She was so grateful and thankful. You have no idea what somebody's going through or has it been trained or learned or or whatever.

Ransom: 00:43:28 There's like the next bullet is like, be aware of your boots, man. You gotta be aware of your moods, like your mood can trick you into believing things. Yes. That's just, that's just how it ends up.

Tyson: 00:43:41 You're the easiest person to fool.

Ransom: 00:43:43 Yeah. It's like if you're in a, if you're in a bad mood and you think life sucks,

Tyson: 00:43:49 guess what? You're right.

Ransom: 00:43:51 You're right. You know, I, it's just like you gotta be careful of the things that you stay on a constant basis because that becomes a building, you know?

Tyson: 00:44:00 Yeah. Like, like we said before, like, you know, I understand people are going to be, you know, crazy, dumb, rude assholes. Just let them be and hold yourself to a higher standard and you don't understand that's the way it's going to be. If you come into a room and you're positive and you understand like, listen, bill is just going to be an asshole today and that's cool. We can, I'll, I'm going to be, you know, the best, best friend or a boss or coworker, whatever I can be to help make his day better.

Ransom: 00:44:26 That's one of the bullets he talks about here too, is this a mood is unavoidable. It's a human condition. We got mood swings like in the morning we feel good and when we get to work like we hate life, you know me? Yeah. They come and go. Moods will pass, turn, watch the last couple of games. My moods are like this, diners, diner's, but yeah, we had a chance. This moods and emotions, that's all human conditions. They come and they go and just kind of learned, learned to go with the tides, recognize when you're in a bad mood, so that way you're not making dumb decisions while you're in a bad mood so that I'm in a good mood. I can make decisions now. It's Kinda like you don't go to the grocery store when you're hungry, you're going gonna fill your basket up with all kinds of weird stuff. Make sure you eat before you go to a grocery store. Same thing with your moods, kind of mood you're in before you. Before you start,

Tyson: 00:45:32 go back up a few, you know, take a couple breaths. I'm like, be grateful. Like try to get me off today. But Man, am I glad I have a job for Bob? Piss me off at like, you know, take that down and be like, you know, how can we, how can we fix this? How can we, you know, bring that mood. Get yourself into a good mood, it's going to rub off on people and you walk in a room and you're smiling and strangers and you know, doing this, these things are going to. You're going to bring up the level in the room. You're going to bring up the mood and you know, don't let other people bring you down. If you're down. Recognize, man, I'm down. I need to take a second to myself, bring myself back on another level, you know, Cook some good product,

Ransom: 00:46:10 you know, breathe that in. And so what are some of the other bullets we like around here?

Tyson: 00:46:24 Life is a test and only a test because if it wasn't, you would have gotten instructions on how to go.

Ransom: 00:46:32 Wait, wait, wait. We just got those instructions.

Tyson: 00:46:36 It was just a test. Oh yeah, that's true. Emergency system.

Ransom: 00:46:43 Let's see. I think that's just funny though. It's just [inaudible] like this, you know how that goes back to life's not really an emergency, like, you know what I mean? Like

Tyson: 00:46:51 yeah, like the emergency alert said if there was, they'll send instructions.

Ransom: 00:46:56 That's funny.

Tyson: 00:46:59 Funny, I never thought about that. That's pretty clever.

Ransom: 00:47:03 Yeah, for sure. And this just kind of sometimes if you think of life is like being a test that kind of takes you out of being in that chaos mode, you know, and say something horrible happened to me. It's like, okay, if this were a test, I mean wants to go through horrible situation might be I don't know what you're going through. If you're going through hard times, there's always help, but just of it, like if, if this were a test, how can I better the situation or how do I improve the odds of this happening again? Or I mean like you just found those answers, right? If you think of things as a test that you start to look for the answers on the test.

Tyson: 00:47:46 Yeah, and you can allow yourself to fail the test. You can always retake it. Yeah. Well you can try things. You got one shot at life, but you got, you retake either retake Tuesday tassles on Wednesday. You gave yourself permission to fail and try things to say, hey, it's just the task. Nothing is necessarily gonna be that bad. It's going to happen. You can bounce back from it, you know? It's not a big deal.

Ransom: 00:48:13 It's like, all right, I, I, I didn't. I didn't manage my horrible boss well today. Well, let's try it. Let's come up with some new. Let's do some homework. Let's do some studying and the will will attack with this horrible boss again tomorrow. See you see if we can make this a better situation for both of us. Know. Absolutely.

Tyson: 00:48:35 Was this a praise and blame? Are All the same? Nice. That's hot.

Ransom: 00:48:42 Yeah. I mean, I don't necessarily agree with the bullet, but I liked the part where he's talking about. He's like, if you win 55 percent vote, you got to remember 45 percent of the people ate. I was like,

Tyson: 00:48:56 I never would've thought of that. That is. That is. That is interesting.

Ransom: 00:49:00 That's the way it was. He's like, you ain't got to know, hey, you've got a fine hate us by tomorrow. You ain't doing something right. We ain't got enough hades. Absolutely. But yeah, I do that. You know, it's just like, yeah, I have the popular vote. I got 55 percent. Oh, it's like, oh, you know what, that 45 percent of your people are going to blame you for all the bad stuff is going wrong in your life. You know, I'm not trying to say anything about the current president that we have, but you know what I'm saying?

Tyson: 00:49:31 But he was talking about before us, people complain about every president from the beginning of time and you know, like people hated Lincoln. He's got a statue now. I mean,

Ransom: 00:49:44 right? I mean, you know, they win the vote but you gotta remember, like just just because even if you got $50, all you need is 51 percent. Vote still mean half the time.

Tyson: 00:49:55 Four point one percent.

Ransom: 00:49:57 You have 51 percent, 49 percent still hate you man. You just kinda. I mean when you, when you have praise, go ahead and take it and soak it up. But when people try to blame you for stuff and blame you for all the things that's going on, just you know, you kinda gotta let that, let that go to the side just like you're just doing. You know what I mean, whether they approve or disapprove of what you're doing in your life, like you can't rely on that now. Are they experts in whatever it is they're talking about? You know, it's like, are they control of your life? Are they in your situation? Why really? I mean, they're trying to put hate on you or they're trying to put the blame on you. Don't even don't even be involved with that. You know? It's like if you genuinely did something wrong, apologize for sure, but you did what you have to do in that situation. That's all you can do.

Tyson: 00:50:48 I think ownership for that and, and don't, don't wrap yourself up in other people's opinions of you and I will do what you gotta do. It'd be a good person. Do the right things.

Ransom: 00:50:57 No, I know it's hard nowadays. You don't have haters loud. Alright man. It's easy. Mute

Tyson: 00:51:05 blog. There's all kinds of. They do now.

Ransom: 00:51:09 Yeah. Okay.

Tyson: 00:51:11 Don't ignore that. I think in the crazy, like sometimes there's been literally validity in that and you know, take a grain of salt, like, oh Dang, you're crazy. But that's, that's a good point. They're like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna. Look into that. I'm going to consider that, you know, or like, Hey, I'm coming up with me. Explain this to me. Like I want to implement that as a replacement for a stupid thing I was doing. I liked that. So good idea.

Ransom: 00:51:35 Yeah. But then again, just again, don't get caught up with this. Don't just have to fire back at every single person has both a bad comment or you know what I mean? You will know how to answer that bad comment on your page or whatever. Just let it be. Let it roll. Just say like, Hey, we don't agree on certain things in. And thank you for sharing your point of view and just let it go. Absolutely. Yeah. What else do you guys see? The what? See the innocence. Innocence. Don't have second we were talking about earlier, you know, don't you know that little baby Jesus. I think he's talking about something. He's like, okay, this is, this is what I want you to do. I want you to bring all the people were mean to you. Just bring them all to me and then from there all you're going to get better. Like I was laughing at that. I was like, I was like, is that really going to work? Like seriously?

Tyson: 00:52:40 You can learn to let it go and let it give, you know, forgive them for their stupidity or whatever it is that you're mad. I'm just like, let it be. I forgive and I'm going to forget now we'll move on.

Ransom: 00:52:49 It does work I guess. So you just put distance between them, right? Like I've,

Tyson: 00:52:53 I've worked with people on that, on that thing, like you know, something that happened 10, 15, 20, 30 years ago. It's just that be left, forget them like this, that's 30 years ago. Stop. And then come back and said, Goddamn, thank you. That work worked.

Ransom: 00:53:08 I guess that I just thought that was funny. Working. Try something else. All the people were affecting you. Just bring them all to me. Give them to me. I'll take them all. You're going to get better. Some of them follow me on instagram. I don't care. That's an one. Um, I like this one here though for again, many people argue their own limitations. I just tell you how well I say it or resonate with that we do. It's like a Jewish Jewish crap I've ever seen. And it's like sometimes people think that I'm, you know, like I don't have emotions or people care about their situation and like I get this a lot like because I'm just kinda like levelheaded, just motions about when they explain stuff and like the one thing that, you know, I've, in the past they used to frown upon people are you selling, give them crap. But now I want to just kind of be poker face about it. But a lot of people when they argue or when they complain or when they hear things, like whenever they're talking, I just hear about their own limitations. Like you just didn't listen. And I hear like somebody comes to me complaining, I hear exactly what that person is. The mutations are. And I used to get mad at it before. I don't know about that had with you, but was pissed off all the time.

Tyson: 00:54:33 You're just a Goddamn more listened when I told you to do it, this would not be a problem.

Ransom: 00:54:37 Uh, you know, but now I just, I just kinda let it be and if they need to listen to that, I just listened and then, um, you know, I go on my way. I'm not, I'm not too excited about it. I don't try to feed the drama or you know what I mean? All of that kind of stuff. I just let it keep a poker face and just be like, oh, okay, we'll get on with it. But you know, this is one of those things like if you hear yourself complaining, if you listen to what you're actually saying, like, you know, sometimes people argue what their limitations are and guess what, whatever you are before, when you're going, you're going to keep arguing limitations. You guess what, you won the argument and you to keep your limitations. Um, and no, go ahead man.

Tyson: 00:55:28 No, this Guy Jim, Jim quick, he says all the time, I'm not sure where he got it from, but if you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them just like Jan that's hot and you start thinking about that. Like when you're, when you're going through that and you're playing that, that blame game or you're, you're, you're telling everybody telling me how you can do something like stop and just be like, listen to what you just, uh, you know, if I stopped telling myself I couldn't do it, maybe I could. Or maybe if I taught saying there's no solution, there's impossible or that can't happen. It's always this way. It's always been that way. You stopped using those words. You can start to find solutions for things, you know. But I get, I know I had the same problem, you know, my, I was talking to my sister the other day and she was telling me about some lady got murdered in DC and she was like, okay, so you don't have no sympathy. I say, I don't care. I didn't say anything. You're just so cold. I can't believe how stability for, for, for somebody. I don't know when to place. I don't live. It sucks. She got murdered, but like I don't know what you want from me and she just hangs up the phone. I'm like, what? What? What did you want from me? I don't understand. Like if you want to get wrapped up in other people's business, have fun with that. But no, I don't. I,

Ransom: 00:56:51 I'm not gonna say that it's not tragic. No, absolutely. It's horrible. Have something to deal with. But yeah, I don't know this person enough or well enough to know what I mean. It's not like grandma died or something. I'm a, yeah, I'm a break into tears. I'm the heartfelt because that's my grandma. But this lady that I don't know on the street, like, yes, that is unfortunate. Yes, that'd be heartbroken about it. The same as if my grandmother died. I don't, I don't know about that. No,

Tyson: 00:57:22 my sister was up in arms about this. I was like, why are you so invested in this seat if you have no sympathy? I was like, I don't. I, I, I can sympathize with these people in this situation, but I can empathize. I don't understand.

Ransom: 00:57:37 Yeah. And again, I've, I've, I used to get mad at people when I'm kind of poker face than I used to be offended. Um, when people would say that about me, but I'll just let it go. It's like, okay, cool, sounds good. And that kind of brings us to the next bullet point is kind of like, um, understood and understand the statement. Wherever you go. There you are, you know, you have to be where you are. I mean don't constantly be wishing you were somewhere else or in that situation I try to put yourself in that situation that you don't need to necessarily do that

Tyson: 00:58:11 and also goes along the same lines of um, if you, if you keep moving, jobs are moving to places and it's like always the same problem. It's always the same things. There's only one constant. They're like, you know what? Maybe not having to look within a little and say, hey, is it me being a little bit weird here is, you know, I'm pretty sure that these people aren't following you around, you know, so

Ransom: 00:58:32 I mean it's possible, but it's just kinda like we talked about earlier too with the whole formal things like you're going on a vacation to Hawaii, like be happier in Hawaii. Don't worry about people, what people are doing in Cabo because you see it on her. You can be happy for them and back to your hometown and you guys can talk and be like, Hey, I see you guys did this in Cabo and it's just like, you know, it's like, oh, this was in Hawaii. And then you guys can exchange stories and have a good time and like bond with one another, but at the same time you got to be where you are.

Tyson: 00:59:02 Yep. Being president, being that present moment, um, you know, don't get caught up in that anxiety of future thoughts are that the stain for the past, you know, where you're at or learn. Do what you gotta do, understand what's in your control. And outside of control and keep moving.

Ransom: 00:59:20 Yeah. Cool.

Tyson: 00:59:22 What else we got here? Less aggressive driver. You have all these things. This book interesting thing that I talk about, you know, and I'm sure we all, we all, we all experienced it. Maybe we are the aggressive driver. Not I laugh. I think it's just so funny. Kinda trying to inch into you and cut you down. Where are you going?

Ransom: 00:59:43 What? I mean it just depends. A lot of times I am that aggressive driver but I'm not that mad aggressive driver drive because the drive like coach charter, I'll try to make the gap and I wouldn't say I speed, I'd say I accelerate pretty quickly. So like if the speed limit is 35, like I'll go from zero to 35 pretty quick. But uh, what I mean like oh I won't go over 45 in the. Not Anymore. Anyway, I've just, I've, I've, I've extended my lifetime limit on speeding tickets. I did that, but I thought this was just an interesting point. Um, when you drive, like, you know, just become less aggressive. You don't need any added stress if you're like me, like I relieve stress when I drive, which is kinda weird, but I mean it looks like I drive like a mad driver but I'm actually focused and I'm in control and like I dunno, I kinda like it.

Tyson: 01:00:40 That's, that's to me when I'm, when I'm driving what, you know, that's my time for, for, for myself. Mostly I'm doing my podcast or my books, you know, if I get some more 35 seconds later than I needed to. Like I could have big deal, you know, like not putting wear and tear on my car, wear and tear on my, on my body, you know, getting worked up because there's traffic which ain't nothing to do with me out of my control.

Ransom: 01:01:05 And if you're constantly the person who's feeding like maybe you should just leave the house a little earlier. Like possibly.

Tyson: 01:01:13 Yeah, like maybe time yourself or do some calculation. It's like the difference between arriving somewhere, going 65 and 75 is not very much. It's a minute or two. Three. Like it's not even a big deal that the wear and tear on your, on your, like I said, on your soul on, on your car and your gas tank is not worth, you know, 87 seconds quicker somewhere.

Ransom: 01:01:39 Cool. All right. What about this other one? This next one? I have two key. Like this one too? Yeah.

Tyson: 01:01:43 This is one that's hard. Books and articles with a point of view different from your own.

Ransom: 01:01:53 Yeah. I guess for most people though,

Tyson: 01:01:56 that's hard man.

Ransom: 01:01:58 I guess I have always done this kind of weirdly.

Tyson: 01:02:01 I like to try. I actively try to seek out things that I don't that don't know. Give me my confirmation. Biased.

Ransom: 01:02:11 Yeah. But at the same time, I don't know. I mean you've known me forever, like a normal person. Like I've always been like on the weird side, like outside the box, like, like I feel like everything I read is a different opinion from my stuff. Like I do, I just am like okay, let's see what this is about because I know you want my opinion anyway. Right.

Tyson: 01:02:38 And we, you and I especially I guess growing up in wind, so we have such a diverse group of friends and people we've been around, there's so many different viewpoints and naturally

Ransom: 01:02:48 different cultures and all that kind of stuff come from. So I'm actually interested in different points of views. Um, I'm not so much in the political space though, but

Tyson: 01:03:00 that's, it's hard. I don't even know if it's hard. I'm just not even interested thing. There's things. Yeah. Yeah, there's just aren't interesting. But like I try and topics I'm interested in or like, like, like, like when I was looking for some new books, I was like, what is something I would never read? Like I would never read Rockefeller's biography. I bought that up. I bought a ulysses s grant and some other thing. Nothing to do I would ever be interested in. I was like, you know what, I'm going to try something different and see. And I've been, I've been absolutely loving it. Yeah,

Ransom: 01:03:33 I definitely think that, yeah. Like if you, if you're looking for something to do, like try to spice it up, be like, what would I do?

Tyson: 01:03:38 Yeah, I like that idea because it's easy for us to not like confirmation bias. You just keep finding the things that confirm your biases and you don't think you're biased. You're biased to that. We're all biased. We all have our biases. We all have our things. It's okay. That's just the way we are now. But sometimes it's interesting to listen to somebody like, you know, so, you know, I genuinely like why did you, how did you get to the viewpoint and the earth is flat. Like could you, I'm interested in understanding this and listen,

Ransom: 01:04:09 but that's just the same thing too when I shared that book with you about the power of intention, like I don't know if he's going to do this, but maybe we'll see. Cool.

Tyson: 01:04:20 I would have never picked that book up ever, ever, ever. And I absolutely enjoy it. I got some lines in there. I still like to use, you know, and I, I jumped on Wayne's uh, the, the, I know he's passed away now, but I jumped on his email list and get some things from him. I just watched the movie. I went out and find another couple of things on him was generally interested and I thoroughly enjoyed and I'm glad you brought him in that book into my life. I've learned some things and it's fun when you get outside of your own things, you. There's things to find this fun

Ransom: 01:04:50 and this is kind of related to the next one I want to talk about is you become what you practice. If you're reading the same articles and watching the same news source and watching, you know, talking to hanging around the same group of friends that you kind of become one side I did thing. If you are open to other people's points of view, right? You start doing things that are new and trying all these things like you then become like a different person. I used to get required me new things, new perspectives on life and I mean it's like if you want something different for your future, you're going to keep doing the same things like the definition of insanity. Right?

Tyson: 01:05:31 And that's what we tried to kind of show is different thoughts and perspectives on things, so you can walk into all these different situations and already have a base level of training you can default to.

Ransom: 01:05:41 Yeah.

Tyson: 01:05:43 And then the other thing too, I was good here is to be flexible with your time. You know, things come up, things change, you know, you gotta be able to adapt and understand like where you're at, what's going on and like, Oh hey, no, this is happening. I don't get crazy and frustrated about it.

Ransom: 01:06:00 Yeah. And this is kind of like one of the things like this book teaches you like put things on the backburner, be flexible. I'm like, it kind of forces you to focus on what's really important hundred things you can do today, but you could probably maybe maybe do 10 of them. You got to pick which 10 are important. You don't know which ones are not so important. You got to know which ones are important and you gotta know why those are important to you. Those are all, all these things. And, you know, again, coming from this place of peace, abundance and gratitude, like all of that comes together,

Tyson: 01:06:39 you know, um, that happened to me Monday. I know whenever I got myself down into and I was like Dang, like I just messed up my schedule as I spend way too much time on this thing. I didn't plan like, you know, you know, at first I was like, God, you know, oh no, hold up. It's all right. You know, Shit happens. It's just the way that they went, you know, I'm cool. Like I spent too much time on it now I Kinda, you know, it's Kinda late in the, in the act. But I caught myself like Tang spending way too much time. Like I looked on the clock and I was like, shoot, no. But I was like, oh, well, you know, um, I just got to push those things that cut I could call and just moved on with my day.

Ransom: 01:07:18 And this again brings us right to the next point is like, think of your problems as teachers. Like you just have this new problem. Come your way, be flexible with your time, think of it as a test and it's like, okay, well can we put this in the background and what if we put this, we have 10 things to do today and now I can only do three of them. What? What if we put item number one, seven and eight on the back burner and we just did two, four and six. Like this is kinda where again, you learn, you grow, right? You start to handle instead of doing your own thing and like wigging out, stressed out, I had all these problems. It's kind of learn like, okay, how can we think of this as a test? You know, what can we do? This problem is here to teach me something, either how to use my time better or how to handle my emotions better. Know what can you learn from the situation rather than just wigging out. I don't know.

Tyson: 01:08:19 No. A good thing I learned from Tim Ferriss thing he does when I'm there working on projects in different things like that. They ask themselves, what would this look like if it were easy and start brainstorming what we wouldn't do it. Okay. Like what would outsource it? Okay. Like you said, to come up with all these things like this is easy. What would it look like? What? And you start to look and say, no, can we do, let's not do it? No, we want to do it, you know, outsource it. No, we want to have some control, but maybe we can also some elements of it. Maybe you can throw a little bit of money at this thing or you know, you know, all these different things are supposed to come up with a lot of different things. If you started thinking about the problem in a different way, try that, you know, if it was easy, what would this look like? And so you start going every crazy thing you have. And then we had done a lot of craziness, look back and say which of these make sense that we could actually do to make this easier?

Ransom: 01:09:06 Yeah, for sure. Let's see what else we got here. Become an early riser. I like it, don't, but I do.

Tyson: 01:09:23 This is a tough one. This is a tough one. Now you know what an early riser is? That's, that's, that's up to you. You know, you don't have to be like Jocko at 4:30 in the morning getting up, you know, but at the same time, you know, I did this well maybe six months or something to go. I used to, I used to sleep until titus. My son would wake me up like, dad, let's go. We gotta go, we go to school now I'm like, let's go and I kind of wander out of bed and you know, take it to school and end my day, kind of starts to get going and next thing I know, looked at the clock, it's 10:00. I'm like, Dang. I was like, you know what, I'm gonna Start Waking up at 6:30 because we start to leave at 7:30. And ever since I've been doing that, it's like I usually get up, I do my meditation, all these things I want to do. And I'm like, oh, seven, 15, you know, a chat a little. It's like, oh, 7:30, let's go, and then I come back home. I'm like, it's not a classic man. I got a lot of stuff done know, so don't dismiss it. Like if it's going to sleep in our earlier, you know, shutting off, dancing with the stars or whatever you watch like, hey, that's just the way it goes

Ransom: 01:10:27 early riser. But I, I definitely agree like whatever that time is part of the day for yourself. Like we're so caught up with life, life, life gets in the way of everything else. Like get up and the first part of your day should be for you. For me, I try to go for a run in the morning or you know, a nice go for a walk when I'm walking, thinking of all the things that I'm grateful for. You Start Your Day off, right? That's, I can't, I can't stress that enough. You may not have to rise early, but

Tyson: 01:11:00 yeah, whatever that is to you. If it's 2:00 in the afternoon instead of three,

Ransom: 01:11:04 at least take that time out on the day for yourself. The earlier the better for sure.

Tyson: 01:11:11 Absolutely. So whatever your, your, your, your arm time is. Now I challenge you guys set it in an hour, an hour earlier, go to bed an hour earlier because that's what you're going to need to do to wake up an hour earlier, going to go to sleep an hour earlier, and you're given. Get a world I want. I won't guarantee your life will start to be better

Ransom: 01:11:29 then taking this tool. I guess our next part, power of your own thoughts, you know, um, I just kinda like that. Whenever bad thoughts come to your way, you know, just shoo them away and get on with your day like this. This is cute. The key one there. I like that.

Tyson: 01:11:47 Like right now, a lot of you are thinking, I can't do that. I can't wake up earlier. You're out of your goddamn mind.

Ransom: 01:11:52 Keep telling yourself that you that thought away. Don't even try it. But yeah. And then, uh, I guess the last one here, I'll let you tackle that. That we have on the list here. More is better. And what's next?

Tyson: 01:12:12 That is so true. I was listening to a podcast the other day, these guys on there, they're the minimalists. He was saying the average American has 300,000 items in their house. That blows my mind.

Ransom: 01:12:30 Yeah, and then even in this book, the guys talking about like this guy bought a. I mean it wasn't a mansion, but it was a decent size house. He bought like a brand new house to live in it for one day. He got in there the first day, he's like, on my next house. It's like, dude, you didn't even enjoy the first house you bought. Why are you thinking about what's next? Know

Tyson: 01:12:54 you haven't even nick the paint on the wall. Like, come on man, like Jesus

Ransom: 01:12:58 even slept in your bed. Get in. You're already thinking about the next house, but I think that's just America, dude. America all good at selling the American dream. Like, Oh yeah, I'm going to get this big house. I'm going to get this next house. You got to stop. We'll stop.

Tyson: 01:13:17 Tell my grandma comes over my house. She's like, no, you give all these empty spaces in this wall, in this thing here. I'm like, yeah, I like it like that. I don't need things to fill spaces. I think it's okay if my bathroom is completely empty. Like

Ransom: 01:13:33 that's fine. Assists the egg, you know, so this book recommends this side that you want less, you know, um, again, we only have so much time in this world and we only have so many resources to expand. You got to learn to focus on what matters and you pick the things that matter and enjoy them. Keep focusing on the next best thing, the next best thing that there's going to be a 100 million next best thing I can tell you how many next best things you can chase, you know, hopefully through of that, you at least enjoy the chase. I pray that you would least enjoy the chase if you hate the chase and you're always chasing what's next. That's not a life to live. Stop. Stop. Yeah,

Tyson: 01:14:25 that was the thing I learned. I liked from that middle of this podcast. The guy was saying, um, if there's something you want to buy, you don't put that in the shopping cart or whatever on your wishlist or whatever it is, and then in 30 days come back to that and if you still want it, go ahead and get it. If not, just let it be. He's like, he's like, he uh, he was saying like when he started doing it, he's like, I would come back and like not even 30 days. I'm like, I just delete this out of here. I didn't think it was cool in the moment and let it go. And I was trying out with, with my kids, like, my time is titus saw something on youtube is staying and I was like, if you still want that at the end of the month I'll get it.

Tyson: 01:15:04 He's like, okay, that sounds fair. And at the end of the month is like, Dad, I still want those, these, like this magnet things. He's like, I was like, alright cool. No, because I mean before be like, oh that's a cool toy. I don't get it. And then it just sits, sits over here, you know, and you know, it gets played with for a little bit and then that's the end of it. And I've got 300,000 toys. That was something I, you know, I like to like to splurge on and a nod, you know, made the decision like we don't got to, he's got a lot things that just sit there and collect das and then we've got to constantly give away. I'm like, let's start doing this. Like if you want this in a month, like w w we can get it in. But you know, other than like books and stuff like that. Like I'm okay. Like let's just grab those up. But anything else? I'm not essential. Wait 30 days.

Ransom: 01:15:53 Yeah. Cool. Nice. Right. What else we got here?

Tyson: 01:15:58 Can I sit this book? That was our, that was our fun, fun things. We like some of the themes and everything and that was that um, you know, if you guys. But we had to say

Ransom: 01:16:08 maybe or don't. Or if you, we say maybe that's the best parts of the book. I don't know if he got this for you. Probably are just fine without the book, unless you want it as like a reference manual or unless you just want to hear what we just said all over again. Start from the beginning. We should go back. Welcome.

Tyson: 01:16:35 We, we, you know, this is the beginning of October with the winters were, were contacted for last week's thing. I want you to guess we had this one winner from this other country. Blows my mind. Just throw out a couple of guesses.

Ransom: 01:16:54 I've looked at the stats. We have listeners from other countries like Australia, you just say

Tyson: 01:17:00 some guy in the Ukraine, Ukraine. I was so excited. I was like, that's crazy. Okay. I don't know his address. And I was like, what is this? I was like, Dang, like, oh, awesome. Is that, that just blew my mind. I thought it was so awesome. Cool. Super Cool. I'm so excited that somebody, you know, you're getting, you're getting the book, uh, are going to break the bank to send it, but I don't really care. It's going to be so excited about it. So, so cool. But we got, it's October and this is going to be the last month of giveaways, and I'm going to do, do something kind of big, you know, I'm, I'm going to do what I call like the leadership pack. It's going to be Jocko Willink, new book, uh, that the comedy of leadership and then the Prequel to this extreme ownership as well as Ryan holiday's ego is the enemy and obstacles away.

Tyson: 01:18:00 I call this the leadership under pack. Um, I think it's going to be good for you guys. So head over to the social community that show, get into this giveaway. It's Alaska boy of the year. Um, it's going to go through all the month of October on the 31st. My birthday is going to be the last day and then for November, December, we're going to, we're going to be giving back like you guys joined him on, not too. Um, I'll, um, towards end of the month I will be announcing more about that. So jumping into the last giveaway of the year, the leadership bundle, extreme ownership, the economy of leadership, ego is the enemy and the obstacle is the way all four of those books to one amazing lucky winner. I don't care what country in. I'll send it to you. I don't care for cross boundary box. Nice. Alright, cool. And then, um, do we have any, you know, any, any, any researchers or anything for people? I think this is,

Ransom: 01:18:53 yeah, this book is unique in its own but similar, um, definitely power of intention that these are very similar. Again, part of retention is a lot more spiritual, religious kind of thing. So if you're into that, maybe that book might be just as equally good for you as well. If you're not into that, maybe this book is better.

Tyson: 01:19:14 Yeah, go, go to episode 20 where we talk about that one if you're interested in seeing what that's about. Okay, cool. And then from there we got challenges. This week's challenge, I challenge you to not sweat the small stuff. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Get up an hour earlier, take a cold shower, go through the day without complaining. Don't get mad at someone for something out of your control. You don't know what's going on in somebody else's life. Give them the benefit of the doubt and hold yourself to the highest standards. What can you stop sweating? What can you ignore? What can you focus on that's in your control? Ah, Nice. Nice. Awesome. Can you bring us home? What? What do we got here?

Ransom: 01:20:06 Yeah. And that's just final thoughts.

Tyson: 01:20:08 Um, this book is mainly about gratitude, being grateful for the things that are in your life, being in a state of peace, coming from a place of abundance. No, uh, where you already have everything that you could possibly have. You don't need anymore, right? You're not angry because you can't be angry and grateful at the same time. Right? You're happy. You're at peace. You know, you have control over your thoughts and over your emotions. Final thoughts for today or choose peace. Choose gratitude over all else. Final thought, man. If, if maybe the book isn't something maybe for you or for your friends, maybe this messages and I'd like you to share it with them and help people help spread the word help. Let's help you know, bring this message and gratitude and all these things to, you know, more to more to the mainstream, not just with a few of your friends, uh, us and follow us all week long at social chameleon show on facebook, instagram, twitter. You can subscribe on Youtube and your favorite podcast APP. If you're listening to the podcast APP version, I would like you guys do leave a review. If this is something you thought was valuable and you'd like to help us spread the word to other people just like you, if you and for everything, all the links and everything to get this book and the show notes and everything like that. You guys can head over to the social meaning that show. And until next time, keep learning, growing and transforming into the person you want to become.

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