By The Social Chameleon Show / September 5, 2019 July 2, 2020 Motivation Is An Illusion You got to have a reason to want to do something, to get out of bed in the morning, you got to find that. It's not about passion; passion is bullshit. Passion is fleeting. You need a purpose; it doesn't have to be grand, it doesn't have to be earth-shattering, it doesn't have to be mountain moving sea parting, it just needs to be meaningful to you. You must have a reason, with an end in mind, a goal in mind, a lifestyle you want to live, an amount of money you want to have, a level of freedom, something that will keep you going past the initial torque of motivation, the horsepower of your life. Subscribe Links From The Episode Action Steps Gratitude: grateful walk in the morning, moving, breathing If there were no limits what would your life look like? What do you really want even if you think you can't achieve it? What beliefs do you have about life, your life, what’s possible for some like you? Can you change them? What habits can you start to create so you can be living the life you want? What habits can you get rid of that are not serving you and moving you towards the life you want? Coaching With Tyson My Mission Is To Help You Learn, Grow, & Transform Your Life. I've spent the past 20 years falling on my face, dusting myself off and trying again. Over those years I've learned, read and taken many classes on achieving the life I wanted. I've spent the last few years in deep study with the Proctor Galleger Institute learning how to coach and guide people towards success. This show is about me reaching as many of you as possible, struggling to make your life what you want it to be. IF your ready fill out the form and join us on this journey towards Self Transformation. Your name Please enter your name. Subject Please enter a subject. Your email Please enter a valid email. Your message Please enter a message. Please check the captcha to verify you are not a robot. Send Message Sent! Message failed. Please try again. Episode Transcriptions Episode Transcriptions Unedited, Auto-Generated. Audio: 00:00 Opening Music Tyson: 00:15 Welcome to the social community and show, or it's our goal to help you learn growing and transforming and pursuing and become a to d. I want to talk about, we want to talk about the motivation is an illusion. I know this just sounds weird. I know, I know, I know I came up with a little analogy maybe to help everybody get on the same thought process track. So I was thinking about this as like a, like a car engine or like a motor. So you have, you have torque and you have horsepower. So so torque is what gets you going. So that's to me like that's the motivation and then you have horsepower. Horsepower is what keeps you going once you're in motion. And to me that's the part you need and that's the, that's the purpose or the goal or the ambition or the vision. So you know, Torque is the motivation that gets you going. Horsepower is the other thing that keeps you going. Then you know, when the Torque dies off or the motivation dies down, the horsepower is what keeps your car in motion. What keeps you in motion? And keeps you going. That's analogy. I kind of came up with help think about this a little and kind of visualize it a little bit. Ransom: 01:20 Yeah, I guess I kind of suits a title, right? Like motivation is the illusion like a lot of people think like, you know, motivation is kind of like what keeps the gear turning and then it kind of like in your analogy, I'm not sure exactly what Torque is cause I was in a tacky or was it a from a garage kind of guy. But anyway I guess motivation gets the wheel started turning. Maybe it's a little bit a different explanation that kind of goes, but from there and like you have all these other things like your purpose, your goal, your ambition, your vision these are kind of things that, you know, get the wheel, like to stay moving. And I think, I guess what are your thought processes why you wanted this as a topic? Is it like maybe people have motivational and then like they died down after a while? Is that kind of what started this or, Tyson: 02:14 Yeah, I guess where it all kind of the idea really came to fruition was some I had on the Instagram, our Instagram page at social, at social community show if you're interested one of the s the story archives or whatever. I asked, you know, I asked people, you know, what are some things you want to see an episode on or something, whatever things you're struggling with or whatever. So somebody had wrote to me that, you know, they, they said, you know, motivational words steps to break the shackles holding me back steps that, that I can be constant. And I was like, you know, and then it started me thinking like, you know, I see this a lot. You know, maybe we all kind of see it. Especially, you know, in the coaching and different stuff that I do, you know, people are like, oh, I need something to motivate me. Tyson: 02:59 I, what's my motivation? It's like you're missing that. That's, that's an illusion. It's like the motivation isn't the problem. You know what I'm saying? It's other stuff that they can, you know, let, let's, let's, let's Kinda lets the thing about it. So I'm sure we've all either, you know, saw a movie or saw a video or been to a conference or a talk or whatever it is. And we're like, yeah, fuck yeah, this is amazing. I'm going to go out there and I'm going to just rule the world and then come Wednesday. Or like for lunch guys, you know why you're talking about you're a gay man. You know, and that's the problem. Like we can all get motivated motivation. That's, that's easy. And that's a thing that we, that it seems like we think we're missing. Like I'm just not motivated enough. It's like it's not that you're not motivated, it's not, the motivation is the problem, you know, it's that you don't know where you're headed. You don't know where you're going. So when you get motivated, you don't like, you don't know what to take, how to take action with take action on, cause you don't know. Is there something that aligns with where I'm headed? Is this an opportunity to get me where I'm going? Does this make sense? Like that's not the way I thinking about it Ransom: 04:03 Does, cause I mean I've had those too. It's like you, you either listen to a really good speaker or you read a really good chapter in a book and like at the moment that you're receiving the information, like you feel pumped and you get all excited and then like, you know, like you said the next day, like it kind of the, the drive dies and it's like, ah, and I, I dunno, I guess I can kind of see where it's like motivation is the illusion. It's like, oh, well how do I keep this height buff? Or what do I, you know, what do I do to keep this in motion? And like, yeah, I guess I can kind of see where you're going. Like if you just keep having all of that motivation and you just kind of get pumped kind of thing, I guess it's kind of like the boy who cried wolf. Like, you know, you just keep getting motivated and, and like nothing happens. You know what I mean? Tyson: 04:50 Yeah. I mean, between you and I. I mean, I can remember, I don't know how many times we leave something and say, dude, we're gonna do this and that and this and that. But you know, when I look back on that nowadays and when we were young and stuff, it's hard to see. But now that I look back on these things, it's like we didn't really know where we wanted to go, like what we want, we want it to be in my view is it was just this vague destination. All we want to be rich when we both, you want to be free and independent or whatever. But there was nothing really enough there to keep us as from my view, going any further. Like, you know what I mean? Things, things are gonna get hard or like started happening when, as a party or like, I'll go to the beach, next thing you notice like, oh, well here we go again. Same Old Shit. Ransom: 05:26 Yeah. Well, I mean we, we try to, a lot of different things that we at least have the motivation to like keep going. But I, I guess I'd never really figured it out. I mean, if I gotta go back and look at the failures episode, but, you know, but you're right, like we'd get into something and then it would like die down, something new and then that would die down. And I guess for me, it, I guess it didn't really happen until I got to maybe like the beginning, like the end of the second maybe started third quarter in my life that I kind of figured it out, I guess. Yeah. As basically at the time I was doing the real estate. Like I not only was I I guess motivated, I had a mentor at the time who, you know, kind of show me step by step and introduced me to people and made things happen. Ransom: 06:18 And I, you know, I said, oh, I have all the motivation. And then on top of that I'm getting somewhere and then all of a sudden like, it's like, Dang, I have what I want, I've accomplished what I want. And now I'm finding that that's not really what I want. And I think for me that that Kinda turned the light on before then. You know, like I was saying all the things that we talked about in our failures episode, I don't know if our light was turned on about that. I don't know, kind of reflecting on that a little bit. Tyson: 06:48 Yeah. You know, and that's what I think about too. Like, like you were saying, I didn't really start to figure this out or really even give it a lot of thought until probably when Titus was born with like 2010 or so. I'm like, I started to think like, okay, I got, I got a child coming. Like where, where do I want my life to be? How do I want my life to look like? And that's when I started to kind of piece it together slowly. And so kind of where we're, where I am now, you know, where we are now. Like Tyson: 07:16 And then I, it's easy like when you kind of, even if you sort of kind of figure it out, like you can start to make decisions and see opportunities based on, you know, I know where I kind of want to go, I don't know how to get there or whatever, but when something comes up it's not about this hype anymore. It's about like, oh this is cool, I like this. Like does this align with where I'm trying to go? And that to me was with the like thing that kinda turned onto me, I can start to say yes and no to things more and I can set the focus on things. Marcus, I know like these things are going to serve me where I'm headed, you know what I mean? And versus this is cool too. Sounds great. I can make a buck or something like that. You know what I mean? So I think it's easier to think about it when I started thinking about things that way. I don't, I, I found things got easier. Ransom: 08:02 Well, I guess, you know, you have to kind of be interested in something in order to keep at it. Like, you know, I, and I guess I see that in a lot of people today, it's like they get motivated to do something but they lose interest quickly or you know, they don't continue on and like you ask them, it's like, oh well, you know, I don't really, I'm not really about it. And it's like, well, the other day you were all about this and now this isn't something that you want to do. And it's like, I dunno. To me, I think that's also a skill that you just develop over time. I don't, I'm not sure. But you know, the motivation part is what, what it Kinda, I guess falls short if you're not interested. You know what I mean? It doesn't matter how much motivation you have. If you're truly not interested in doing something or selling something or providing this service Tyson: 08:56 Like you're, I don't care who your motivational speaker is or how much you're going to pay them. Like they, they won't be able to get you to do it because you just don't have the interest in that. You just, you don't have the passion for it. I Dunno. Yeah. If you don't have that, why, like why are you doing something in the, why has gotta be something that's meaningful to you? You know? It's easy to get caught up in, in what's popular, what you see a lifestyle or a movie star or celebrity or whatever type of celebrity nowadays or something, types of celebrity and thinking, oh, that's what I want to live. And you know, but you're, you're, you're, I guess I think I wanna say it's a little shallow in a way where you just, and maybe not a traditional to the word, but let me kind of let me come and talk through this a little bit, but, so you see this likes, I can see this thing and unfortunately all we're seeing is the, the highlight reel, the most curated, best of it all. Tyson: 09:47 Then you see this light and you see this thing, whatever it be, and like, oh, that's what I want. But because you don't really know necessarily where you're headed, you just look at that and say, that's a life I want to have. And as you start to maybe obtain a truck to try to go through it or get it, you start to realize like this is Shitty, this sucks. And when those things come up, that's when we quit. I mean, again, I can think back a thousand times why I stopped doing something. It got fucking hard and I was like, this isn't working anymore. I don't, I don't really care. I was looking for a quick buck. I was looking at give it a shot or give it a try and there's not interested in it. And that's the thing too. I want to kind of [inaudible] people, you know, try a bunch of shit, like do a bunch of, I've done so many different jobs and I've tried so many different things and I think it's a good thing. Tyson: 10:34 Like you go out there and do a bunch of things and try stuff, fail and quit early. Quit fast. Like you know, just pick up a hobby, pick up a side project. Oh, this sucks and just quit. And that's okay. Like eventually you're going to find something that is going to keep you interested in, keep you going and, and, and you gotta just, you kind of worry about what anybody else is saying and kind of worry about what you're seeing on the internet and different things and you just gotta go through doubt yourself and it's got to be about what you want to do and where you want to go and it's going to take time to figure that out. Like don't beat yourself up. Like I don't know what my passion is. I don't know what my purpose is. I'm that, that's fucking cool man. Tyson: 11:07 You can be working on that too. Your 90 a hundred like that's okay. But as long as you know, like I want this kind of life or lifestyle and you're heading in that direction, I think that's the key. I think people actually have to take action and, and do something. And now that you, you know, mentioning all of that, I, I again, I just keep remembering my real estate career cause I was working for bank at the time and this guy kept calling up cause like, hey, did my check clear? And I was like, how much is your check? He's like, Oh, 20,000. And then, you know, I think I mentioned this before in other episodes or whatever, but, and that's what I thought I wanted until I was that guy. Like calling the bank being like, hey my check player. Yeah. Right, right, right, right. When I was that guy, like he said I just, I all that Ransom: 11:53 It takes to make that happen and you know, for all that it takes to make that happen, that's not, I guess that's not who I wanted to be or that's not the lifestyle that I wanted to make that happen. You know, I was just outside looking in and seeing this guy cashing checks, thinking that that's what I wanted. But in actuality, when I actually had it, I didn't want it anymore. And I think maybe that's kind of a message that we can put out there for people is like, you know, you're going to have all of these things that you're going to try in life, whatever it's going to be, relationships or in job or in a side hustle and you're going to fail. But I think that where people actually learned this idea that motivation is an illusion is actually when you have success. Ransom: 12:43 It's like when you start to succeed at something and you know, then at that point like it's, you know, you can do it, you're successful at it, but then you lose the drive, you lose the passion for it or for whatever that reason is. You know, that's kind of when you start to put things together and you're like, Huh, I got something that I thought I wanted to, now that I have it really don't want that anymore. And you know, I dunno. To me, I think that that's part of it. Just going through the success process. I don't know. Is that kind of, Tyson: 13:17 Yeah, no. Yeah, there's a lot of that. And, and you know we hear it all the time. I, I'd say, at least in my circles, I run through you know, like, Oh, you know, you think you want money, you think you want it to stop and it doesn't change anything. Everybody's like, yeah, yeah, yeah that's a you thing. But let me tell you when I get the money though, my life could be great. Like you don't think so. Cause you've got the money, you got the stuff or whatever it is. You don't think it's gonna be great, you don't think I'm going to be happy with like, and sometimes like you're saying that you need to go there and be like, you're right, this shit don't mean nothing any better. In fact, I mean it can make more problems. You know, like, I'm sure we've heard stories of lottery winners, like most lottery winners, you know, what is it 90% or something like that or whatever. They went up in more debt than, than they ever could have imagined Ransom: 14:03 Because they have all of a sudden this influx of money coming in and then once the money's gone, like they don't have a means to keep that money coming in, you know? But I mean, not just talking about money, let's just say talk about relationships. Like you get the girl that you think you want, right? Like aw was so great. She's so awesome. Or guys for the women out there watching, like you get into this relationship that you've wanted for so long and then when you're actually in it, you're like, damn, this person sucks right now. I don't want this person. Ah, you know, there's, it doesn't always have to be about money or job, your love relationship, whatever it is. But also in talking about radical acceptance, like you know, there's an exercise there, it's like, you know, what do you really want? And like you use that exercise to kind of figure out, because once you can picture yourself, imagine yourself having it. Then sometimes, you know, it's just the want of having it, not actually having the item itself, I don't know. Tyson: 15:07 Yeah. Or, or the feeling of the status or the, the, the friends or whatever you think you're going to get from that, you know, the kid. It can be a hundred things. And the, the good thing about that exercise that if maybe you guys all know is you know, your, your brain doesn't know the difference between something you imagined, something you dream about, whatever it is or reality. So you can really, you can trick your brain. You can trick your mind into believing. If you can create a very vivid experience or vision you can create, you can trick your brain into thinking that you actually did it. And, and, and through that you can, like Branson was saying, you can sort of create this experience like, Oh, I've got this stuff. And you've, you really get down into it and really unlock yourself and allow yourself to imagine it and treatments, smell it and taste it and touch it. Tyson: 15:48 And then your brains are like, oh, we accomplished that. We achieved that. And that's a lot of times what happens too is when, when you start visualizing this goal and stuff, sometimes you can get so kind of in throw it into like the goal is happening and the goals happen that you, your brain is like, all right, we're done with this even though it's not really done. And then you can also lose a little bit of track from there because your brain is like, we accomplished this weight. We've got to move on to something else. Because you've gotten so into it and so deep down in it. So it is an exercise that an attempt to get that thing or imagine having that thing and then see how you feel like, you know, like, oh, this is, this is great. I just moved to this new match and I just got this new significant other. I just got this promotion out. I feel like, and you just got to feel it and imagine that. And maybe, maybe it's like, yes, this is it. Or maybe it's like I don't feel happier. I don't feel more success. I don't feel more fulfilled. I don't feel more loved or whatever it is. And you can start to examine that afterwards and say, what is your, I'm really searching for us. It's obviously not distinct I feel having, right. Maybe I did get it and start to dig down and where you're trying to go. Ransom: 16:51 Yeah, no, I mean I agree. And then also adding onto that, it's like you have to also take into account if you're trying to accomplish something that requires a lot of time, you know, it's like if it's gonna require, you know, there's just, I guess talk about getting a better body. Like you know that that's not going to happen next week. Like this is going to be months down the road. Like, and sometimes you know, if you can imagine maybe like a year down the road if you're trying to get extremely fit or trying to get into that type of shape, but you have to also kind of think about it like as time moves forward, like your needs and your wants change. You know, so you know, at when you started out this school originally, it may have been something that you wanted, but six, eight months down the line, you know, you could have a completely different life at that time. And then from there you start adapting and you know, you now have different needs or different wants in your life and that goal that you wanted six months ago is like at the bottom of the totem pole. And just, you kind of have to realize that, understand that, that that happens. You can't stop life from happening. It's going to happen. People are going to change. You're going to change. And you know, that might kill your drive to accomplish something. But that's okay. Tyson: 18:17 Yeah. And that's, that's what you take that opportunity to say, you know, this is where I was headed. Now I need to change course new thing, new things come up and like d is no experienced to come up and you got, we've got to keep changing, we've got to keep adapting, we got to make revisions and you know, it's okay to do those things. It's okay to say, you know, Hey Russell, I thought you were going to do this and it, I, you know, I did that and I did some of that. But you know, now I see it was really this component or this thing I was really after and I'm shifting gears and it's okay. Like people get so locked into like this is the thing I got to do and I always got to be this can't be nothing else and I'm stuck or I'm trapped or whatever it is you're feeling or thinking, you know, flip flopping o used to be this way, now you're this way, what will you, what do you know that it's like it was okay. Tyson: 18:58 Like when we get new information, when we get new experiences, when we get new thoughts or whatever, like it's okay to change and make adjustments. And as long as you, you know where you're headed and you know to kind of person you want to be to kind of like you want to live, like it may not be the same as you thought. And as you start going on these journeys, what happens a lot of times is you can't imagine what's going to happen. You can imagine the doors that'll open opportunities that all of the people you'll meet. You can never dream those things no matter how detailed your plannings and, and that's when things start to branch off and go this way and that when you've got to be okay and receptive to that and you know, you gotta watch out for that dichotomy. Like you're kind of alluding to that being that tunnel vision and being in that tunnel of things. And like I have just one goal and nothing from the outside is I can be distracted or whatever. You know, sometimes you got to keep an eye on that stuff. And look around what's happening. Ransom: 19:53 Yeah, and we talked about opportunity costs. One of the previous episodes. It's like if a new opportunity comes up that you're going to invest in, like take that and run with it, you know? But also, you know, keep in mind that if you're constantly changing, the things that you're doing are constantly changing. You know, the person you have to be to do things you have to do to accomplish what you want to accomplish. Like make sure at least you have some kind of sounding board in your head as to why you're doing it. And just, you know, you're not just quitting because it's hard or something like that. Like understand like I tried this, something happened and like be able to explain it. You know, you don't have to justify yourself with every single person, but you know who you have to justify yourself to this person inside. You know that intimate person inside you. Like you have to justify that. You can't just lie to yourself and be like, oh, I'm trying this new thing. So there's somethings in there that I'm trying this new thing, so something's going to get better. Like, you know, take time for the failures as well as like successes. Unfortunately, you know, like I said, mentioned earlier, it's not until you have success that you're going to kind of figure part of that process. So I don't know. It's Kinda rough. Tyson: 21:05 Yeah. And be aware of you're the easiest person to fool so you can assemble like a little little team, a little maybe order of your own, a couple of, you know, whatever, friends, colleagues, mentors, maybe you know, three to five people and that can keep you accountable, keep you on track, help you with ideas, help you say, listen, you're just, you're full of shit buddy. Like cut it out. Like, yeah, Ransom: 21:29 Those are kind of good things too, that you know, most people need somebody to help keep them accountable and, and do things. There are people in the world that don't require that, but yeah. But even if you don't require somebody to be accountable, like have somebody that you can like bounce ideas off of or, or do something. And kinda just, you know, help you along with your process. Cause believe me, it's like no man's an island, right? Like it's just, it's hard to accomplish things by yourself. Like, you know, either for myself was competition, a lot of things like I didn't do that on my own. There were either forces out there or people out there that help me or you know, just things happened in my life at a certain time. And you know, I, I am grateful for all of those and I understand that. Ransom: 22:21 But at the same time, you know, I, I keep pushing forward, don't be like, oh, I'm going to wait for something. Like, just push forward that's happening. Kind of let them happen. And you know, about getting back to, I guess the people who are gonna help you be accountable and who are going to help you through this process. Like, be careful about using friends and family for that because sometimes friends and family will tell you, I guess maybe not half truths, but they'll tell you things that will keep your spirits up rather than have that tough conversation. I mean, it's okay to have people who are going to keep your spirits up, but you've got to have one or two people that are gonna have a tough conversation. It'd be like, Hey, look what's going on, what's happening? What is reality in a lot of people are scared of facts, but you know, this is part of the process too. It's like you wonder why motivation keeps rolling off to probably because you know, you don't face backs once you see the facts that are out there, like you got to handle that. If you're just going to get motivational fluff and just be like, oh no, it's okay. It's okay. Now what we were talking about the guys that we're trying to prove something wrong. What was it? The world, was it the world? Not the world is flat, but, Tyson: 23:39 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. There's this flat. Yeah. They kept getting the data saying that the work, the earth wasn't flat and they were like, wait, no, we just did the ground. And every time they kept doing, they kept trying to like prove their theory even though they couldn't. Ransom: 23:51 Yeah. You know, just be careful of that. Have somebody that's going to have that tough conversation. Cause I think that that's well warranted as well. I don't know. Tyson: 23:59 Yeah, I know it is. And when you, when you share with somebody or, or some people like what you're, what's your, you know, what you're striving for, where you're going, you know, and these opportunities, these things come up. They can say lik, no, I thought you were trying to do this. And like that doesn't sound like it's in line with where you're trying to go. And it's like, shit, you're writing like, damn, I just saw something there. Cash grab a money thing and opportunity, you know, like, you know, like it just happened to me a few weeks ago. I was, I was invited to do this thing and I, something was tearing me between the two and I, I couldn't figure out what it was and what it was was like I was saying, I never stopped somebody, you know, and I talked through it and then, and then that's what they said to me that like, is this sounds like this is not part of what you, you're trying to do or go, but you see an opportunity here, you're trying to capitalize on that. Tyson: 24:48 And it's like, yeah, and, and, and that's what it was. And I was like, dude, that's what I was kinda thinking. And I wasn't sure, but I need, you know, I could have easily gone and taken the opportunity and been, Eh, it was a selfish thing for me to do. And it, it really wasn't something I was interested in, but I knew if I did it, there could be something else there, but there was something tech, you know, telling me like, dude, this is not right. And then having that person say, trust what you're thinking. I see. I see what you're saying. And I'm kind of agreeing with it. That was, and I didn't waste a whole ton of time and money and effort into something I wasn't interested in because they knew like where I'm trying to go and where I'm headed or were able to tell me, hey listen, this doesn't sound like what you want to be doing unless you're changing that. And I'm saying, no, I'm not. So, you know, that's a good kind of example. And I knew something triggered something in my mind when you were talking earlier. Mr Ransom about how about life and things get hard. And I know we were talking about that earlier, like we, I'm offline yesterday and stuff, you know about, sometimes life gets in the way of life. Like I slept on that a little bit. Ransom: 25:49 Yeah, I guess for me, you know, I love you mom, you're out there. But there were, you know, there were times in my life when I had an opportunity out there to do certain things or do certain tasks, but you know, I was just like, but mom kept asking me to do stuff for her and it's just like, okay mom, I'm going to go help you and do this kind of stuff and I just let so many things pass me by because of that. And you know, nothing bad about that. I'm happy where I am today but at the same time just just understand that some of you out there, you know, especially when it comes to friends and family who need your help and support. Like if you can't do your side hustle because you gotta come home and and watch your sister, you know, watch your niece or nephew, right? Ransom: 26:36 Cause your sister or brother is working all the time. Like you know t merit in that like an that that's what that is. You know, understand that you are taking this time out of your life to help this family member and, or a close friend or whatever it's going to be. And that is not allowing you to move forward with this side hustle. So it doesn't matter how much motivation you have, you know, it's just like you have no time. It's like you can't, you know, I mean, some people can sleep less. I don't, I don't recommend that practice. But you know, if you are running off less sleep, you know, then you're making bad decisions. So, you know, for me, I guess that struggle is just like life kept getting in the way. And you know, at some point I just had to call it quits and say like, hey look mom, I know I've been helping you out a lot, but you know, I gotta go, I gotta go to school, I gotta do this. Ransom: 27:33 And you know, I made that decision, you know, as tough as it was for me, you know, I just, I understood that that's what that was a bottle. So there may be some of you out there that are kind of experiencing that and you know, I'm not telling you to just push that person away, but maybe take some of that time for yourself and be like, hey look bro Sis like I watch your kids all the time but I'm going to go take this class or I'm going to do my side hustle. So maybe on Tuesdays and Thursdays, you know, I'm going to have some me time and you got to find a babysitter. Like there's medium ways that you can do that, you know? So you know, life will get in the way and it, it's just out there. I mean, if it's an emergency, you got to take care of it. But this is something that you really want. You know, sometimes you understand that you have to give up other things. I don't know. Tyson: 28:24 And that's the thing. And when we talked about this issue after we jumped off last name this morning, I was thinking about Isaac, you know, these things kind of got to be, if you know them in advance, maybe they got to be part of your plan. You know, I've got to do this, I gotta I got this family response or friend or child or whatever it is, spouse or something, you know, Shit happens, you know and say like, I gotta I gotta adjust now, you know, if you in advance or, or if any of these things don't exist yet, you've got to be able to be flexible and say, you know, things are going to come up. Anything can happen in this world and I am okay with that. I can make, you know, adjustments I you make can set up a few, continues to seize for things you think about, you know but knowing this going, you know, now, now that we're talking about this, you know, now like Shit's going to happen. Tyson: 29:14 Maybe Shit's already happening. You know, life's going to get in the weight as okay. That's part of it. Part of being a human, that's part of what we're doing, but just know like, okay, we don't need to get stressed out with Luna. Flip her shit. Like, all right, I got to adjust. I got to make some stuff. Maybe it's one hour less of of TV or maybe I can sneak in a little bit of some email, you know, from my side hustle while I'm at work like you got, we start to get creative about things like starting with my grandson was saying are splitting things up a little bit. Like, Hey, maybe you take these days of a week and I'll take these days in the week. You know, don't get bent out of shape. Look for solutions, you know, keep your mind open, be creative, you know, have contingency plans for things. As much as you can think, don't get crazy, don't get over overly nuts about it, you know, but have a few things and then train yourself to adjust when things come up and plans get canceled when things happened. But like, no, it's cool. Work on that. Train yourself if you're not good at it. Train yourself to be okay with things coming up. People canceling, all these different types of things. I think that'll help you get through these life things that come up. Ransom: 30:19 Yeah. And you know, motivation is, is is half the half the battle, right? Like you, you need something to initially get that gear turning. But when little things come in the way I try to kink up that gear. Like you know, that's the part where you get to learn to like, oh adapt and make this go through and when it's hard to move the things out of the way of that gear. Like that's when like you having a passion or having a drive for something kind of kind of helps and of this episode can't really be something on how to get passionate about something or, or how do I get a drive for something? Cause that's, that's one of unique to every single individual out there. What drives me is different from what drives Tyson. But you know, understanding that if you go through this process and you find yourself doing the hard things because you have an interest in something like that, can kind of be a sign like, hey, I like at least this part of what I'm doing and take note of that. You know, as you go through your life lessons, like things that you are interested in or things that you have a curiosity for, like kind of, kind of take some time to digest and dive into that a little bit. Cause I think that will help you not, you know, keep the gear turning after motivation gets it started then. Tyson: 31:46 And with that I, you know, we were talking about you know, trying to get people some ideas for, you know, taking actions and action steps. I know you had a really good one to start. Start that kinda off. You wanna run with that for a sec. Ransom: 31:59 Yeah, I guess I kind of got this from I guess Tony Robbins, but as I'm looking through youtube stuff now, I see a lot of, a lot of people do it. But the first thing in the morning when I, I guess when I started doing whatever it was from way back when, first thing in the morning, just just get up and start moving. And then from there, like, you know, if for me, I live in Hawaii so it's Kinda easy. I'll either go for a walk or go for a swim in the morning. And as I'm doing that, I take time to kind of be grateful about things. And what I mean by a grateful about things is not like, oh, I'm grateful to have money in my life. Like, no, like things that I'm like really grateful for. Like, you know, like I'm grateful that Tyson's here and like he's been my friend for like over 30 years. Ransom: 32:46 Like that's crazy though. You know, how many people do you know that have friends that are, you know, 30 plus years and you still communicate, you still talk like you know, things like that, like things that you are truly grateful for and that bring joy to your life. Number one, it helps you keep moving first thing in the morning so you don't just like keep hitting that snooze button. You're like, ah, and number two, not only does it keep you moving but it moves you with a purpose and while you're moving and breathing is a part of it too. Some people do with meditation kind of thing too. It's like, you know, when I'm swimming, like you gotta control your breath and things like that, but moving, breathing, being positive, thinking about the things that you are grateful for, that Kinda helps reinforce who you are and the purpose. If you're grateful for things, like I said, take a note of that. If you're curious about something or you're interested in something, like take a note of that and breathe that in. The more times you can remember what you're grateful for. I think the more times that will help you with your passion or help you with your vision or help you with your purpose and life. Sorry, I kind of stealing show on that. Tyson: 33:56 Yeah, absolutely. I 100% concur. That's a very powerful practice. I want to share one, one gratitude thing I heard, I heard a, I don't know, a few weeks ago, I kind of added it into mine paying bills, like being grateful. Like you can act, you have money and you have the ability to have a bill and have to pay it I guess was like, dude, that's Hartley. I'm capable. I have a car note. Like I got money to pay it. I got, I had the ability to buy it. Like, dude, that's amazing. Like, like I, I have a house that I can have electricity in that I got paid for that. Like I've been trying to add that in there. So it's been like fun. Instead of, you know, we look at the calendar, we look at our stuff and say, oh fuck all this thing is due. Oh, I got paid. Like, oh, stop it. Like, Dude, how grateful are you? Like, oh, amazing. You're not homeless. You got a gas bill. Like, like, dude, you've got a job, you can pay your light bill. Like Dan. That's amazing. Like that can, that can change in a heartbeat. Think it can. I know it can, you know, I'm not talking to you per se, but you know, Ransom: 34:58 Saying hi. I know it can. I've, I've had it as I've been in the sales industry and said, you have a good month, a good month, but you have a bad month. Tyson: 35:07 Yeah. And done that. I got to see real paycheck before. Yeah. You know, so, but I guess, I mean, that's the photic that'll get in your brain a little bit. Think about it a little bit. It's fine. It's fun. Positive. But I'm just saying like, that's it. Ransom: 35:21 That's another way to look at things, you know. And again, the, this is another exercise too, like something about the bills, but basically taking something that's a negative thing in your life and being able to frame into a positive way of thinking. Like, again, these are things that are going to help you once motivation wears off because whatever you're trying to do, whether you're trying to be in a relationship, especially if you're trying to in a relationship, like there are going to be problems to people together. Like you're not the same person. You're going to have differences. And same thing if you're in a side hustle or you're working a second job, like there's going to be days, you're gonna want to quit that job. And like, these are the things that, you know, when you can take something negative and turn it into something positive, like that will help the gear keep moving after motivation runs off. So Tyson: 36:12 Definitely, yeah, that's a fun, I think thinking about these things. I like that. I like that it's one of the most powerful action steps I think we can take in life. Another one I came up with was if they're thinking about this, aren't you, I want you to, I want you to sit down. If you're driving, please don't do that. Close your eyes and just sit there in a spot. Whatever works for you. If it's, if you like piece, if you'd like a little music, whatever works for you. Just just let your mind wander. Let yourself dream it yourself. Fantasize. You know, if there was no limits, what would your life look like? Ransom: 36:43 Yeah. Nobody was holding you back. If you have all the money in the world to accomplish what you wanted to accomplish, if you had all the people in the world that could help you build this thing that you want to build, you know what I mean? If, if you know it, sky's on limit. If you could, if you could make something happen and we would give you everything you needed to make that happen, what would you do? Cause that's, that's the kind of things that are going to help you with your passion or your motivation or your drive, Tyson: 37:14 Right? You're going to, you're going to have to find that purpose, that, that direction you want to head. You know, you might not understand it fully now, but if you're like, man, you know, I just love helping animals and you're like, I don't know what that's like. But you start thinking about that. Like, how am I, how can my life be in a way of service to this thing? How can I make this, you know, part of my life's mission or my, you know, you start to think about this, that this ruminate, you don't gotta figure it out today. You don't got to figure out next fucking 10 minutes, let it ruminate a little bit. Come back to this like, you know, sit down at first and be like, you know, Oh, oh, I will do this since right down to the hour, whatever. She goes, you're stupid. And then you come back to him like, oh no, yeah, that's cool and all. But I was thinking about this a little bit. I really want to be doing this and it's going to evolve. And you're gonna start to dig down and unwrap the onions of yourself and you're gonna start to find the things that you really are going to start to driving, guide your life. Ransom: 38:09 And for those of you positive people out there, you know, you don't always have to pull, peel back the layers of your onions, peel back the layers of your par phase. That's what you're into every year into [inaudible]. And then I guess the next kind of thing to think about along the same lines is what do you really want? Even if you think you can't achieve it and like these two questions go hand in hand because if you think you can't achieve it, you know what I mean? Then that kind of like you don't want to keep going for it. But if you asked the first question before this, we will give you everything that you need to make it happen. Yeah. So like these two questions can kind of go hand in hand and your work at different angles. Like what can I achieve? And if I could get everything that I possibly needed to make it happen, what would it look like? Tyson: 38:59 Yeah. And that's the trap that happens. You, you, you start to think like, oh, I want to, I want to be the CEO of Coca Cola. And you're like, yeah, that's cute and all, but I couldn't be the CEO. I'm not going to write that down. And you have to, you start to edit yourself and you start to, and then you start to like, come pull yourself back into this reality that's, that's, that's around you now. And, and the exercise is to, is to say, no, fuck that. I'm going to need a CEO, Coca-Cola. I don't know how they never had a, you know, a Chinese guy ever. So I'm going to be the first guy. Like, you know what I mean? Like all these things that like we've set ourselves up to eliminate something. You've got to, you've got to say no. Like we'll, we'll get to the how we're going to figure this shit out later. Like, but you can't edit your, your, your fantasy. You can edit your dreams. You've got to, it doesn't matter what you think is holding you back. Now it's bullshit. And we've talked about this a lot. Ransom: 39:53 Right? Because you gotta remember this is about you. This is not, you know, this, this whole episode is about when the motivation wears off, what's going to keep you going be you are. And if you don't know what you are because you limit yourself or because you think you can't do it, then that's kind of a problem. And you're always going to fall short in that area. No matter how much motivation you get, you know? So when we go through it, you just gotta think like, what police do you have about your life right once possible for someone like you and w how does that affecting your life now? Tyson: 40:30 Can you, can you change that? What do you need to do to confirm or dispel the beliefs you have now? You know, a lot of these things like we've talked about in the past, and I'll, we'll talk about again and again are things that aren't because of you, you know, because of your, maybe your environment, maybe your family, your teachers, whatever it is. These people, when we know we get a lot of our beliefs in our habit, this things are imparted on, onto us from, from either our experiences or other people's experiences. And they're not malicious. There's no malice there that people are just trying to, you know, we're trying to protect our kids, we're trying to protect our friends, our loved ones or whatever it is. And sometimes it comes from a bad place. Like, you know, if, if you, if you were telling me like, Oh nice and I want I to invest in real estate and I had a bad experience with that, but oh, a little hold up man. Tyson: 41:16 Not, not, no, don't, that's bad. You can't really make any money. Let me tell you about the taxes I happened. Let me tell you about this. Contractor's like, that's my experience and I'm, I'm cheating that on you. And you know, sometimes you got to listen to people saying, HM, interesting. I never thought of that. I made a make sure that doesn't happen to me, but you've also got to make sure you're not taking on else's beliefs and we've already taken a lot of a lot of beliefs from, from growing up, from being who we are and you got to challenge. I was like, is this true? Is this serving me Ransom: 41:43 Just like a mom? My boy, Sam Harris, I don't really like his books, but yeah, no, he's, he does have a good point. It's like we don't control a lot of things in our life. Like this thing that we call free will is not something that we have created on our own. These are things that are circumstances in our life where we're born, who our family is, who we grew up around, what neighborhood we grew, what school we went to, what friends we made at school. If these are things that you yourself don't always have a choice. And those decisions that were made for you have shaped your life and they have created either habits or thought processes or decision making processes within you. And that's not something that you created on your own or by your design. So just be aware of that. [inaudible] Tyson: 42:42 And then that leads into the next thing. Like our habits shape what we do everyday. A lot of, most of the stuff we do are habitual and also so then the next question asks herself, what habits can you start to create? So you can live the life you want if you want to be this type of person. What habits does that type of person have? These people that are doing this in the area you want to be doing this? And what are the things they're doing? Find out those habits. It's our thinking about that. Start researching and maybe contacting them whenever it needs to be. What do you need to create your habits? Create your life. So you've got to create your habits. You know, it's time you've got to give, you know, it takes anywhere from 1421 days to start to start to have a habit and then you gotta keep that up. Tyson: 43:30 Right. And it takes, they say nine needed a hundred and something plus days, but I have it start to solidify itself. This is a process, you know, so you understand like the first 21 days in card, I'm going to slip on my habits. I know, but as soon as I get past that 21 day mark, it's going to start to be something. When I get to that three to six month mark habit is going to be come on constantly. Part of my thing. I'm going to feel weird not doing this anymore. I got understand that you got, it's one word, especially when we're young. Looking at that long game, looking at that six months through what? No, like that's too long. Like you know, we gotta start to think about that. Like this is gonna take some time on open. Cool. With that. I know where I'm going to go. I know I'm sorta headed gotta look, you know, east, east, east, northeast, like I know I'm headed that way, so I know these things are gonna help me in that direction. So you've got got to start there. Yeah, definitely. And again, and we've, we've given you some habits form in this action, this, you know what I mean? Being grateful, changing around, Ransom: 44:32 Not limiting your beliefs. Like these are some good ones to get started on and to start practicing daily. And like Tyson said, eventually you're going to get to the point where you really feel weird and if you don't practice them, you know, and you know, I, I hear people talk about me sometimes it's like, oh, ransom doesn't really give a shit. And I'm like, you know, I don't, I don't necessarily think that that's, that's the process, but I guess I can understand how people think then about me. It's just whenever something comes up, I kind of take into effect. Like is this a limiting belief that this person is talking about? And like I start thinking about other things and how can I make this thing that's negative be something that's positive and you know, and just be grateful for things. And you know, some people would just be like, oh, you don't care. Ransom: 45:23 It's like, no man, this, that's not it. The part of it is that I'm taking information and I'm trying to do something good with it instead of making it something that's negative thinking something. And you may get this too as you're, as you're going through this process, like people are going to say like, you don't want to have empathy. But on the contrary, I think it's, it's different because you have a different kind of like you're thinking though for the long haul. You're thinking for, you know, all of these things and not necessarily the short game. So it's, it is a different kind of thinking and it's something that will take some time. But I definitely think it's worth it. Tyson: 46:02 Definitely. And then, so pick one, one or two things. And then the next question is, what habits can you get rid of that are not serving you and or moving you towards the life you want? Now this is tricky. You take the habit out, something's got to go in its place. So here we go. You already know what can go on his space. We did the question before it is x, x or you know, take out, get your CRISPR, cut it out, put in the new thing. Cool. Just do one or two at a time. The old boy himself, this isn't the world's longest new year's resolution. This 2017 I'm due tomorrow. Not going to happen, not going to serve you or small. Get the, get the first list things you want to be new habits and then not make your next list. Shit. This ain't serving me. Tyson: 46:52 I got to get out Outta Outta here. Cut that out. Put the new thing in and we, we know the process. Keep going. Give yourself that time. It's gonna take time. You're going to fuck up. You're going to fail. Okay, so, right. So I'm back on start again. Get back on the wagon, whatever it is you're doing, and give yourself permission to fail. You respect permission to fuck up. But just know I'm gonna come back around and okay. And, and, and just keep moving. Keep moving forward. Keep doing these things. Ask yourself these questions. Go through them. You know, the first time you're going to, it's gonna be, it's Kinda be just maybe bullshitty answers. Go back through it again. Give an opportunity to think about it. You know, pose yourself one of the one or two of these questions and go sleep. You know, and when you're dreaming and we're sleeping and you wake up, maybe throw them a dream or make in the morning, you're gonna start to have to answer to, your brain's going to spend this night working on this stuff. Give it opportunity to do that. You know, don't beat yourself up. Like I said, value as part of it. Failure leads to success. It's okay. Shit happens. Don't worry about what people say or thing. Just keep moving on with what you gotta be doing. Nice. Anything else? My friend. Ransom: 48:02 Nah Man, no kink a, I think we did pretty good on this subject here. Tyson: 48:06 Ha. I hope it helps. I hope we helped a lot. And another thing I really hope helps you is this month's giveaway. Get in there, see what we got cooking. You know, we've done with them all kinds of things. We've done books and courses supplements. We've, we've done masterminds and it's so much more things cooking up that really are gonna help us with these things that we talk about. The Times that, things that we're struggling with, things we're looking for. Go to the social chameleon.show/pick me, get in, see what we got going on. Let us try to help you a little bit more than we do with just the show. See what we got going on and get yourself some free stuff. If not at least get some information about something you can go ahead and pick up and start adding to your life. Whatever it is we got to, we keep working on that 1% improvement every, whatever it is for you month, the daily, weekly, whatever. Head over to social media dash show stash. Pick me, see what we got going on. And then any, any, any books you can think around some, any resources or links, anything that you think we can point people to on this subject? Ransom: 49:16 No I don't, I don't necessarily know any books that are out there, but I mean, I'm sure there are just, we'll try to find books out there about finding your purpose in life. And I'm just drawing a blank right now, but I'm, I'm sure there are definitely orchard books out there. Tyson: 49:35 Yeah, I looked around, I looked around to some things I've, I've been around. I mean, these things come up a lot in books. I can't think of anything. The only thing I can think of, and I don't relate to plug it in here, but I do do coaching in this area. If you're interested in more of this one-on-one, reach out to me after ball. I'm going to say on it. This is very information. I'm not trying to, you know, push anything on you guys, but I do, do, do this. If you're interested, contact me. If not anything else on that. Share. If you guys got books and resources that really elaborate on, touch on, let shoot it over to us and why as the show notes, we want to keep these resources going and alive for everybody. You know, something. Tyson: 50:16 Please, please, you know, share with us and then that goes onto this week's challenge. What feeling you feel, I'm sorry, that feeling you feel of wanting born, knowing that there's something else out there. Dig Down into what that is. What are you searching for? What are you asking for? What is it you think you're going to gain from this? Put that down. Write these things down. Start digging down into this. Drill down into what it is you're searching for. I said freedom, freedom from money, freedom from stress, happiness. What? Where do all these ideas lead? Where do these thoughts beach, what is it you're ultimately searching for? Once you guys start this journey, it will take time, maybe a lifetime set sail on your dream life plot of course. Readjust and enjoy the journey. Ransom: 51:20 Yeah. And just taking us into our final thoughts while you're on this journey. And while you're doing these things, you know, you gotta remember that this is about you. Motivation will only take you so far. The illusion will only take you so far. If you want to go further than that, you have to know who you are. Remember these things, piece them together and that's going to help find who you are and it's going to help you find your drive and your passion in life. And once you get there, there's nothing stopping you. Tyson: 51:52 Absolutely. And if you're looking for other people that you know that want to be unstoppable with you, share this with them. Share this message with them. You know, sharing this, teaching it, discussing it is help reinforce the learning that you'd like to support the show. The best way of supporting the show is leaving us a like, you know, sharing your thoughts in a review. In between shows. You can touch us all week long on social chameleon show on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Also don't forget, if you'd like the video version, subscribe on Youtube and don't forget, subscribe on your favorite podcast app. If you're new to our show today or past episodes and links to everything we talk about, you can always visit the social community in that show. Until next time, keep learning growing and transforming into the person you want to become. Audio: 53:12 [Inaudible]. 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