Focusing On You

Tyson: 00:13 welcome to 2019 and the social chameleon show, where our goal is to help you learn, grow and transform, into the personal you want to become. Today We want to talk about focusing on you.

Ransom: 00:25 Focusing on you. Well, this episode I think was kind of meant to be like a new year's resolution episode, but not really, but really, really, uh, I don't know man. I guess the last episode, that was the last one for last year, right? Was the not to do list, is that right? Yeah. Yeah. So this one, I guess I Kinda, we've talked about what not to do. So in this one I kind of wanted to focus on, you know, how to spend, I guess the most important time of your day, focusing on the things that really matter. Um, you know what I mean? Like for example, some people, it doesn't matter what your New Year's resolution is in this one, we have a lot of examples, but you know, if, if you wanted to go to the gym, you know, it's like, have you made time for that?

Ransom: 01:14 Right. So do you make time to do other things like maybe eat or going into, say you have time to sleep today. It's like a bet bet you find time to go to the bathroom. I mean, it doesn't take much time to go to the bathroom, but I'm pretty sure that, you know, whether it be going to sleep, you know, going to work, whatever, like you find time to do the mistakes so you know, whatever your New Year's resolution is or whatever, some type of thing that you want to do. Um, you know, let's, let's get cracking down on some of that stuff. So just most people will do things automatically without ever thinking about, you know, why is it that I, when I wake up, I brush my teeth? Or why is it when I wake up, I always get out on the left side of the bed instead of the right side.

Ransom: 02:03 There you go. Yeah, I dunno. But, uh, I call it the four pillars. I don't know, it doesn't have to be four pillars, but basically most people start right with either your health, right, whether that be physical and or spiritual, whatever that's going to be a wealth and happiness. I always spell happiness with a y. I don't know about you, but that's just how it's movie. It's all right with me. It's all good. And then, uh, I guess relationships or your love life or whatever it's gonna be. Um, but I mean generally it doesn't matter where you go, like something's gonna fall within those categories. Some of them may overlap, but this isn't an end all be all. It's just kinda like a guy to put things out there. So a framework per se, I guess frameworks, I don't know. You got anything to add to that I guess or

Tyson: 02:59 no, I mean there's really no data on the head there. I mean, everything we do for the most part is habitual. It's a lot of times we just do things, we don't think about it and stopping to think about it and recognizing why am I doing this? Does it fit into the categories? Is this in line with my intentions, with my goals? Whatever you, you're setting for yourself. I mean, really just nailed it with that.

Ransom: 03:20 Oh, nice. Nice. All right. Um, so again, um, you know, we just have these pillars are basically just categories and common examples that most people can fall under some of these and um, not all of them may apply to you, but hopefully some of them do. Um, but before we get started into the categories of what we got, I can't stress it enough. Like people, you have to make time. Like you want something done, right? Like you want to get a paycheck in two weeks, you've got to go to work. I'm saying if you want to have energy for the next day, like you got to eat, you've got to go to sleep. So make sure that these are our number one things that you really want to accomplish. And number two, make sure you block time for them. Um, for me, I always recommend doing the first few waking hours.

Ransom: 04:15 Maybe, I dunno, 60 and 90 minutes if you got that. Some people do, some people don't. But again, tasting that tasting was saying, we have this habits, right? You wake up, you take a shower, you brush your teeth, or maybe you make coffee or eat your oatmeal or whatever is going to be, you know, but you try to get in there and make those first few hours of the day count for you. If it's not the first few hours of the day, then make a time set, block a time, whatever the most productive time is for you the day or the best time for you to do that and focus. You know, you got to focus, you've got to do things if you really want it to make a difference.

Tyson: 04:57 And I would even like to add to that, if you don't already have that block in the morning at 60 to 90 minutes, make that wake up an hour earlier by going to sleep an hour earlier. I'm sure whatever's on Netflix or whatever shit you have on the dvr or something like that can. It can be done another time setting of I want to get these things done in the morning and I normally get up at seven. I fly out the door as fast as I possibly can so I don't have that time after I have seven, but if I got up at six or five or whatever it is for you now, I've got this time I never had before. Anyway, I can do these things maybe before your kids get up, maybe before the world wakes up and all these things are happening up, up, go to sleep an hour earlier.

Tyson: 05:39 You ain't going to miss out on shit yourself up in the morning to win and to to not be half dress. I see people all the time, you know, putting on makeup in the car, shaving in their car, you know, instead of just getting up a little bit earlier and then not stressing out and not having that thing and not just blasting into your day on somebody else's schedule. Know not giving yourself that, that first block in the morning to set yourself up to win the whole day really can make a huge difference on yourself. First. You know, 60 minutes of your day, you set yourself up to win the day. Everything else after that is just going to flow so much easier. I would say if you think I'm crazy, just try and give it a give it a week, wake up an hour earlier and see the difference can make in your life.

Ransom: 06:23 Yeah. No, I'm definitely all about that. I mean as far as for me, I like to do the thing that I'm focused on most during that time when I wake up because that way nothing can interfere with it. It's like if everybody knows that you wake up at 6:30, you don't start your day till eight. Like nobody's gonna call you before 8:00. Nobody's gonna. Nobody's gonna do anything with you or try to take that time away from you. If they know that a ransom normally wakes up at eight, I just don't tell people just get up at six the new thing and then start texting or emailing people at 8:00. Be like, Hey, I just woke up. Like even though you know that that's not truthful for se, but you spent the time to do what you needed to do. Got Rid of it and now you're ready to start your day. So

Tyson: 07:11 what I like to do to make sure that doesn't happen because I keep my phone on airplane mode.

Ransom: 07:16 Well, I mean whatever, whatever the case is. And obviously you have to learn to block the time. I find it's easiest to do that in the morning before anybody can start taking time away from me because if you say you make time to workout in the afternoon, it's like, you know, at the end of your work day, people want to go hang out. They want to do stuff. Like you're already caught up in that motion. It's like, ah, maybe I won't go to the gym today. I'll go hang out with my buddies at work. It's like if you do it first thing in the morning, nothing can come in and interrupted. So you wake up, you have your me time and then you start your day. I don't know. I like that. And then second, the, you know, along with making time right is like you got to choose the people that you hang around with, your friends and family.

Ransom: 08:02 Get them on board, you know what I mean? You want those friends to help you remind you, you want your family to help back you up. Have granted there are kind of be some personality types that don't need that, right? You don't need accountable your rebel. Yeah. There's nobody telling you what you gotta do, but you know, whatever that accountability system is, whether it's your family, whether it's your friends, whether it's yourself, you know, get that person on board with what's going on to help you stay on track with an and get focused on these things. Can't stress that enough. You need help. Go get it and make time to do it. Two most important things. You want to hit us off for the first few on unhealth I guess. Is that I guess,

Tyson: 08:49 yeah, the first pillar we have not any particular order, but definitely one of the most important of, of, of them. It is

Ransom: 08:55 important. I'd say it's more important than others, but I don't know. They're all, they're all equally important at some point in your life.

Tyson: 09:02 I mean especially, you know, without health, so things would be really hard to do. Yeah, sure. Like you were saying, you know, when you first wake up in the morning, what's your intention? You want to go for a run, set yourself up to win, have your stuff ready, have your shoes there, have your running clothes there. So you wake up in the morning. There's no excuses. Like here's all this stuff. It's on top of mind thing. This is what I'm going to do this morning. And getting up,

Tyson: 09:23 getting that stuff going. You know, I kinda like that too. Like you just mentioned like have your stuff ready the night before you go to sleep. Like planned this out would be like, you know, put your, put your, your workout suit, you know, like, oh am I gonna wear tomorrow when I go run. Like what kind of shoe? You know, like have, get up, like already set to go your gym clothes or gym bag, like pack that the night before. Just kind of prepped your mind and get you ready for like when you wake up, hey, this is the first thing you want to focus on or focus on this. You wake up, grab your bag and just get going. I like that.

Tyson: 09:56 Yeah. It eliminates a lot of barriers, a lot of things. And then you're in the morning, oh, I don't really feel I can. I got to go get my stuff. And it's like, no, that's all gone. So eliminate all the excuses, trying to eliminate all the excuses, all the barriers that you have resolved.

Ransom: 10:08 Don't, don't get caught in that trap. You know what I mean? For me it's easy because I live in a tropical paradise. Like I can go running any day of the week. It don't matter. Pretty sure it's going to be signed. I'm always, you might get some rain. I can deal with that. I can run in the rain, it don't matter, but for most people they actually have to go to a physical place or building, get on a treadmill. Hopefully that places close to home. Um, some people have gyms in their apartment or some people live across the street from 24 hour fitness, but again, don't get caught in that trap, right. You're trying to limit excuses, you're trying to limit the amount of barriers that come up in the way. It's like if your barrier is physically getting to the gym, like you got to find a way to break that because your habit is not going to start. So you get there. So you gotta kind of find a way to get there. If not maybe pick a more convenient location, something that's 10 minutes from your house or you know, along the way or something like that.

Tyson: 11:08 Yeah, that's what my problem was with going to the gym was a, I like to work out usually in the evenings and when I would find is I would, I would make up a bunch of excuses like, oh, you know, it's Kinda late and the kids want to do something and I wouldn't go. And then I was gonna go in the morning. I'm like, ah, I got to drive like, I don't know, 10 or 15 minutes away. And then I'm like, I don't want to feel like them, I'll do a little later in the afternoon or something like that. And then I was like, you know what, if this shit was downstairs in my garage, I would have no excuses. I can go anytime of the day, I don't have to get ready, get all stuff. So that's what I did. I cancel my membership, I spent that money and I bought some stuff and I put it in my garage. So much simple enough for me that works for me. That's something that I did because that was my excuse and my things that I kept coming up with all these reasons to not go.

Tyson: 11:56 So that's what I did it, it doesn't take much. I mean obviously if you've been lifting weights and like you know you're in that game, you will need a gym, but hopefully you have enough discipline at that point. But if you're just getting started, like I don't go out and get a gym membership, like just just go by like kettlebells or by some dumbbells or something like that and get like a little, like a little adjustable bench. One day you can do just dumbbell presses on and then set it up to do shoulder presses and you know, that shouldn't be more than enough. Just get one of those vertical things. Kettlebells, some dumbbells jump rope or something like that, like and like squat, but whatever. Like you don't. It doesn't take that much. Like I don't know, whatever. I mean, yeah, some people do calisthenics, but some people also, whatever their limit is, they want waits for whatever reason. So you know, and just know that if you're just starting out lifting weights, like you're not gonna live very much in the beginning. Just start small. Once that gets too much for you, then go buy your next piece of equipment, 150 piece set of weights. You just go get the basics, you know, maybe a 10, 20, and 30. Start with that. Once it gets too much for you, then go buy the 35 gold by the 40th. That point you don't need to go all in right at the beginning. Exactly.

Tyson: 13:25 Exactly. And then along with that, you know you got to be eating well to the nutrition is a huge component and if you're eating Mcdonald's had holes and Ding dongs, your body's running on hosing things, dogs and that's the fuel you're giving your body and you know, we, I think we've talked about this before maybe, but you know a lot of people like, well let is cheaper if I do that. If you really looked at it, it's not cheaper. It's either the same or sometimes even cheaper to eat healthier because you're eating less because you're full longer. You have a box of hot pockets. I got a whole box of Ofac is a costco for 12 bucks, but you're going to eat two, three, four hot pockets at a time. Versus if you've got something comparable in price and you made a meal, you're going to be full with the vegetables and the meats and stuff, they're going to be full longer. So you're only going to eat less and you're also healing your body on better foods, more vitamins and

Tyson: 14:16 and different things like that. For me, again, I always want to say stay away from those traps. If your overall health is to get your overall goal, is to increase your health and make it better. Yes. You will need to go to the gym. Yes, you will need better nutrition. However, again, don't get caught in a trap. It's like some people get overwhelmed like, oh, I gotta go get all these nutritional things. Like I got to go to the grocery store and buy all this stuff. I've got a meal prep. Like, okay, slow down, slow down. Let's just work on one thing at a time. Maybe you don't need to go to the grocery store and buy that. Maybe you can go find a meal prep service that's already out there. There's a lot of people. In fact, even if you go to the gym for school, ask them, Hey, where do you get you guys meal preps from? Or do you recommend anybody? I'm sure there'll be a bunch of people and they're telling you, oh yeah, I use this, I use that, or I did use this and their meals got stale, so I now use this person. It's, it's not that hard like our meal prep services out there for sure.

Speaker 3: 15:18 Or even necessarily what you are buying. Maybe it's what you're not buying. Like maybe you stopped buying the whole who's maybe you stopped buying the soda, you know, and just start slowly. Like I'm just going to take this one thing out. I'm going to get used to this hardly, you know, we're addicted to these things. These guys, these companies spend a lot of money to make sure is fine and we want more of them and it's tough. It's an addiction. It's been associated with the addiction of no crack and cocaine and stuff like that. I mean, so you know, don't be hard on yourself. Like you know, if you need to start a little slower, that's fine. Just start. Maybe just eliminating things. I'm not going to buy the season where there's not a bag of three dozen in my house at cat eat doritos. It's true. So it can, I can just start as simple as not buying something and, and you know, maybe I'm not going to have something for breakfast. I'm not gonna have a soda for lunch. Whatever it is for you. Start slow start stuff. Just doing the things is what matters. Not going all in and having everything on your house and starting from scratch and then really frustrating yourself and failing. And it's like, Oh fuck, I'm a failure. No, it's okay. You know, if today wasn't, wasn't your data's fine. You got tomorrow. Start over again.

Tyson: 16:29 And again, this is, these are just examples that we're throwing out there. Not saying you have to do anyone or all of them. Um, but again, if, if you're working on your health, you know, usually people want to work out and slash or usually people want to eat better, right? So let's just say you already have the gym thing down or for some reason you don't need to go to the gym. Um, but you just want to eat better again, take that first time out during the day at that first 90 minutes of your day and be like, okay, I'm going to go grocery shopping for fruits and vegetables and get all that fresh produce right when it's fresh, you know, do things that are exciting, you know, I mean, I know for some of your females out there you've got to put on your face, you got to do like just do the minimum good look dance like you know what I'm talking about. But the thing is you've got to get to the store, like don't sit there and like take so much time getting ready that you don't actually make it to the store.

Speaker 3: 17:26 Like maybe maybe in that morning you're on Amazon, you know, the grocery thing or Walmart grocery store and you're ordering your groceries to be delivered to you later on that day or to pick up after work or something like that. And

Tyson: 17:39 that's true. Yeah. You can, you can do something like that. Yeah. Meal Prep Service. And again there's, there's all kinds of things. The main thing is that you pay attention,

Speaker 3: 17:49 you get down and you focus on something and whatever that system is for you. Take that time. If you don't know what to do, take some time. Maybe the first 90 minutes of your day is how am I going to do this? What is the most effective thing for me? And just start breaking things down so that you can find something that's effective for you and once once you get on a good rhythm, like you're going to have need to reevaluate that at some point too. So, and that's the key of, of all these categories is like it's easy to put down on your list. I want to be healthier, but what does that look like for you? And that's what we want you to do. We want you to say, I want to be healthier and say okay, to me, what is healthier? If I drink three sodas instead of seven, that's healthier for me.

Speaker 3: 18:33 Mit true it is. Start there. We just want you to just. A lot of times what we see as these overarching things I want to work out, well, what does that look like? Do you want to go for a walk in the morning? You want to go to the gym and start benching 300 pounds and what does it look like for you? And that's the point of all of these categories as we go through them. What does it look like for you? Drill down into the category, what are you looking and get out of each of these and then start setting that intention. So setting that goal I'm going to do, I'm going to do this because that's what I'm ultimately after. I don't care if I've got a 12 pack ads for the beach, but I want to, you know, my dad body to be a little bit more, a little bit more Lee, you know, because I just want to, I want to be able to not be winded at the jungle gym with my kids.

Speaker 3: 19:16 You know? That's just, that's for you. That's cool. You know, setting that intention, narrowing down your focus. That's, that's the overarching theme. I think it was whole episode, get in there and get focused. So it brings us to our next point I guess is meditation. We got to say, mom meditation over there, Mr Yoga Guy, you know, this lot of people think this is some woo woo, whatever. And I was like, listen, I'm not going to say no and that's the problem, you know, this is what we think of when we hear these words necessarily that. Is that a form of meditation? Is that a style of meditation style? It's a style for you do it. That's cool. But when I found it, I went through a bunch of things and I like, I prefer like a guided meditation that I'm kind of a mindfulness type type thing.

Speaker 3: 20:22 I'm really love with Sam Harris, new APP, uh, waking up, it's, it's got a great 50 days. It just goes right through it and it's really nice. I've also used, um, zen 12 and some of that, some other things like that. Headspace and calm. Those are some of the things I like. But the point is, what I found, I've been doing it for maybe a year and a half, two years, like really almost every single day, once in a while I do, I do miss and is, is being able to, to Kinda just like refocus your mind and you're sending your mind. Like what I've noticed from it is, is I'll be doing something unlike all of a sudden I catch myself. I'm like, why am I doing this? Like, what am I, what am I doing right now? Why am I often this thing? And that's to me what I've learned from annotation is being able to just kind of catch yourself in, whether it's scrolling through instagram or you know, or, or, you know, getting caught up in different tasks and stuff. And it's all, you know, just being able to bring your mind back and saying, why am I doing this? What am I doing right now? That's what I gained from it. And also, you know, we get upset and get mad. Being able to just kind of like, oh, let's take a breath real quick. Let me just, you know, why am I reacting to this stuff? I think there's a lot of great benefits in meditation as you know, unlock a ton of things popular.

Tyson: 21:34 I guess now that I didn't really think about it until one of my friends was actually like, do you really know what the meaning of meditate is? And I was like, isn't it just like, like humming or something like that? She started laughing. She said no, and then I'm just looking up the definition. So meditate a think deeply or focused ones mind for a period of time in silence or with the aid of chanting a, you can add this other part of a religious or spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation. But if you just take the first half to think or focus one's mind for a period of time. Like I don't necessarily do the whole chanting and religious part, but I do take time to focus my thoughts and like I don't do the classic meditation per se kind of thing, but a good example of a form for me that I would kind of take us meditate Asian but not really is when I go running.

Tyson: 22:37 Like when I'm walking to cool down like I take that moment because I know it's about, I got a walk for these half the time so you need to take like a five or six minute walk the cool down a lot, walk around the block and in that time like I just kinda think about all the things that I'm grateful for and just that right there kind of classifies as meditation because you're, you're thinking deeply about something. Right? And it's often in silence. There's no cars on the road or there's nobody yelling at you. Like you're just kind of in thought and you're kind of thinking about something and focusing your thoughts on something that's technically all meditation really is these other things like chanting and all this religious habitual ceremonial stuff like helps. But it's not always necessary. Sorry, didn't mean to cut you off. And that's a great point. Those things

Speaker 3: 23:32 are meditative to some people. Some people running is meditative. To me, it's torture. Got To find your style. And that's the thing, I think a misconception as well as people think that meditation about completely clearing your mind. So there's nothing happening there. First of all, that ain't gonna happen. You know, you have no control over these things and that's okay. Understanding that, that you know you're going to go off on this little thought ship, the place to say, oh, I'm thinking about something else and I focused on, I should be focusing on right now. And then bringing yourself back. That's, you know, those are great. That's a great example and there's so many great things I would encourage you folks. There's on. I know on Google music, there's free meditation stuff, that's their music. I'm sure spotify and all these easy as things. Headspace and calm, they have free things.

Speaker 3: 24:20 Like I said, my new favorite APP is waking up, I believe the first five or so when the patients are free, the tons of things I would recommend giving it a try, try all the different styles, find one that works for you and, and, and give it a shot. Give it a good gift if given 14 days and everyday just just commit a few minutes to saying, let me try this shit out. These guys are crazy, but I'm going to give us a shot to see parts of your life where you're like, you're, you know, you're normally stressed out here. Fucking idiot is cutting me open. Nope. Okay, cool. Cool.

Tyson: 24:56 That'd be, that'd be.

Speaker 3: 24:58 And that's the power right there when you can just bring yourself back the goal and it's all right. People are dumb. There's some dumb drivers. Our, you know, when I get pissed off and something that's like, oh, all right, cool. I see that, you know, and that's to me the next, the next thing is, is sleep. And we had this conversation before we started, like I sleep is important. We can, we can, we have a discussion about it, but it's the compounding effects over your lifetime. The different things. If you're working out and you're not sleeping good, you're not going to be to recover. Well, you know this. This is. This is from my perspective here. I'm sleeping well. You're gonna. You're not gonna. Be able to perform at your job or your task or as a husband, as a, as a brother or whatever it is that you're doing in life or sister or whatever.

Speaker 3: 25:50 You're not sleeping well. You're not going to be to perform well. You're not. You're gonna. Make bad eating. Decisions like to me from from my my perspective and the things that I've learned about sleep, there's a lot of things that just compounds and and it's harder. You're like, listen, if I get a tool, actually less hours of sleep, I get more work done, but what you're not seeing is if I get two extra hours of sleep, I can get a lot more done in a shorter amount of time because I'm able to focus better and more rested and there's. To me, there's a lot of things I sleep, sleep is getting a little bit more mainstream now and it's a little cooler to sleep and stuff, but

Tyson: 26:22 there, especially because I work in the healthcare field, like understand if you're not getting the deep and restorative sleep that you need, it's okay to go maybe a day or two or three when you start getting months. We start getting years and you haven't had a single night's rest in 10 years. Believe me, it happens. I see people all the time. Friends will say these types of things create problems for you. You get heart problems, right? Which eventually lead to respiratory problems and life goes on and on and on, and in this case would be respiratory problems causing heart related problems but not the case. I mean there's all types of things that you can, you know, if you just want to Google real quick sleep apnea and the side effects that it has all kinds of stuff to talk in. Heart failure, talking erectile dysfunction, talking about depression, talking about weight gain.

Tyson: 27:20 Like there's a lot of things. So again, your New Year's resolution may have started out, hey, I needed to go to the gym handy to eat better, but we just want to bring attention to this subject because it is important. You might want to look at doing sleep before you start looking at these of things. If you're not sleeping well, chances are you trying to eat right, you're trying to go to the gym is not going to help you. You might want to focus on your sleeping hygiene. We do have an episode for that. All right. Was that kind of wrap up everything for health and we want to think about the health pillar as we like to call it. All right? So moving onto the next one. Show me the money show and Mr. Black people a classic. But anyway, so moving onto wealth, again, I don't know what your New Year's resolutions look like, but here's just some prime examples.

Tyson: 28:19 Again, whatever your block of time is, make sure that you focus on it. But we know stocks is kind of like a common thing. Um, it's kind of like on the thing. Most people either play the stock market and slash or invested in stock market either directly or indirectly through your IRA or four ronk balls, but may time do some research on it, you know, and you wake up, you got this morning show, CNBC, right? Waking Bell. That was you. As soon as the market opens, like, what's happening, what's going on? Um, you know, there's all kinds of people on there. There's all kinds of shows you can watch. Um, two of the ones that, uh, well, one of the ones I like to watch his mad money and then I think you showed me that fast money. One money one was actually pretty decent for awhile too.

Tyson: 29:07 But um, you know, it's just like intelligent people who are talking about stocks and what they could or should or might do. Um, on Fridays, fast money has an option section so that you can try me for that if you're interested in options. But again, this is not about going out and going all in and, you know, taking a mortgage on your house and throwing it all into the stock market. We're not, we're not talking about that, right? We're talking about take some time, get educated, listened to what people have to say, look at what the markets are doing, go out and made me get like a Sikh treating account, you know, and just kind of do stuff with that. But you know, I'm investing is one of the ways to have your money work for you and the head of the game at the end versus you working for money your whole life. So anyway, anything to add on that stocks?

Speaker 3: 30:02 No. Just say like we said earlier, what is your intention if your intention is to get more involved in that and do it, get up in the morning, start getting involved in this. Spend that time.

Tyson: 30:11 Yeah. You got to put that time in. For me, I got real estate in my background and my partner here. Humbly Tyson, like what? We used to look at what 10 deals a week late,

Speaker 3: 30:23 like physically, like get the newspaper, do all this stuff to every single location,

Tyson: 30:31 look at them, go to open houses. There was a section when I used to go down to the courthouse to try and buy houses, like read books, people. There's a lot of books out there like go do stuff. If you want to look at properties, you want to buy an investment property, take that time. Go see a loan officer, go see a realtor. I mean have that realtor send you properties. You know, you can send you a bunch of properties. Trust me, don't blow up the phone lines, but if you want properties in Hawaii I can send you. Then it's like, tell me what your criteria is and I can put you on a blanket email. Any realtor in the world can do that. I'm sure they'd love to do that for you. Not Beg you to put them on the list is exactly. No, it's not. It's not that hard, but again, just one or ways to improve your wealth is to invest in whether that be star, whether that be real estate, whatever you, whatever you need to take some time to meditate, right? Focus on what might be the best thing for me and pick something and just start learning about it.

Tyson: 31:41 What else we want.

Speaker 3: 31:43 If you wake up every morning and you don't want to get out of bed because you hate going to fucking ABC, start thinking about that. Like this year I want to get promoted. I want to get out of here. I want to get into and you want to make my side hustle, my real hustle, like whatever it is for you. This is my intention. What do I need to do if I want to? I'm tired of fucking being this guy that sits at seven for 14 fucking years. Now. How do I get to Bob's office? Bob? Bob's getting promoted. I. What do I need? What is the qualifications now? I don't have four to five. Okay. Guess what? I'm. I'm going to open up. I'm going to open up youtube. I'm gonna. Open up MIT's website or whatever it is for you and I'm going to start. I'm going to spend 30 minutes and I'm going to take the course curriculum to be better at this, and then I'm going to put my application in. Listen, I've upped my skills. I'm qualifying. This is how I'm going to be

Tyson: 32:40 be Bob's replacement. This is what I'm going to do for the company. This is my goal. This is my intention. That's what I sent out. Here's the things I've done. These just some, some ideas. If you're not happy with your job, you know, and some of the times they don't. It doesn't always have to be the same company. Right. And you can go laterally to the competitor or to another company who doesn't know anything about you. You know what I mean? You just got to beef up that resume, you know, go take a class or learn how to do resumes or a goal. Just Redo your resume. Just look through it and you know, how can I improve this? How can I do it better? You may even find by working on a resume, you learn more about yourself completing your resume. Then you do any other, any other task.

Tyson: 33:24 Yeah. You're like, Dang, I do have the skill. Dang, I do have that skill. It's like it's. It can actually be an eyeopening, positive experience to just go through, look at your resume, know what I mean? And if you're that guy who you hate your job, you wake up every day hating that 72 percent of your life. Change that. Yes. We'll look into classifies. Look at prep that resume and go look at new jobs. Go get a new job. Goals. Think about what job would actually. I love to wake up every morning like I'm going to wake up every morning and go to work. I love that. Like find that job. You can do it. Don't, don't settle for excuses. You got time. When you wake up in the morning, sit down and think about what that job is going to be. Go find it more.

Tyson: 34:11 Another one that just popped in my head was, maybe there's something about your job. You don't like that you can start brainstorming. I would love to go to work here. If this would change. How? What can I do? Is it me? Is it the culture? Is it the rules? Whatever it is, there's lots of things we can open our mind and start to say, why don't I like being here? I never wanted to be an accountant. I got thrown into this and I just didn't want to change. Whatever it is for you to understand what is the problem and either how can I get out of it, how can I solve it? How can I make changes? Opening up your mind to the problem that's there, what you don't like, whatever it is for you. Yeah. The other thing too, this is also a hit from Tim ferriss asked to do your job from home.

Tyson: 34:53 Yeah. There's a lot of people that you know, if you just set the right systems in place and your employer really wants to keep you and really enjoys having you and you just tell them, you know what? I don't need a raise or need anything else. All I really want to do is to be able to work from home. Sometimes this is not for everybody, but sometimes they'll be like, okay, let's set that up and let's get you working from home. You'll save way more time on your commute to see what time on your meals we know is you could do a workout. You could make those at home while you're working. Like the possibilities are limit place if you start working from home travel expenses. Although now there's a huge like, man, I gotta wake up and go to work. Just walk across the room, sit down at your desk.

Tyson: 35:42 Do I go from from there to here? Good to go. Done. I'm saying like it's, it's, it's a life changing thing. Like don't always think inside the box. If you can do. If you sit down and you think, you know, want men, why do I even have to be in this building? Like I can do this job from home. Hey, come up with a proposal proposed to your boss. You know what? I can do the job from home. This is how I'm gonna do it. You might, you might come up with something new there. You may even make that company more money by doing so will. Absolutely. Good. Good idea. That's a really good idea.

Tyson: 36:18 Anything else in the pillar we wanted to bond when he was about if you feel like you're working harder than you are getting compensated for astro, more compensation. Know the number one thing that people are always afraid to do. Ask for race. Can I get a raise? No. Done that easy. Even a good follow up question is, okay, what do I need to do to get a race? Yeah. And it made it Boston. I don't know. I just know we can't get raised right now or you know, what if you did this, this and this and then that comes with it. I got this project coming on. You want to tackle with that? I'll give you a bonus for it. It's something I need to get off my plate and go do it. He never know. All they can do is say no, but I know I will say no problem.

Tyson: 37:09 Solve studies and then on that note, but in a different pillar. Relationships rather than relationships. The fine sexual relations because I did not have sexual relations with that woman. A lot of mercy. But anyway. Um, yeah, I mean, whatever. Love relationships, whatever you want to call it. I mean, this doesn't always have to be, um, with your significant other. This could be the relationships that you have with your mother or your father or your brother or sister, son, daughter, whatever relationship you have with yourself. Maybe you wake up every morning, you hate that person that you see and you don't know why, but basically, you know, you. This is all part of it, right? This is the whole everything encompassing. These are what a lot of people have is their new year's resolutions. You know, I want to find a loved one. I want to have a better relationship with God.

Tyson: 38:06 I want to have a better relationship with myself. You know what I'm saying? You know, I'm trying to say, you know what I'm saying with my partner, with my kids, with my fill in the blank. Yeah. We, my dog, who knows, man, whatever the case is going to be my. But this to me, I guess, you know, I can't stress it enough as far as relationships go is, you know, use other people. You know, the people that you hang around with the most, right, is what you're going to be like. So this is the part where I say get out there and find that couple and emulate them. You know, you want to have a better relationship with you, with a male on male, female, female, whatever that's going to be. Go find those people who are already doing great and the relationships and be like, hey, you know, I'm, I'm going to go to a movie, whatever you two want to come, like I'm gonna throw it out there. Or if they're going to have a dinner party at their house and they invite you like go. I mean don't sit there and be like, oh no, no, no, I can't go, like, just go learn more and observe like what do these two people say to each other? How do they react with one another and just kinda like ask them how do they meet? Like there's so many things you can do just by being around what you want to accomplish. It's amazing.

Speaker 3: 39:26 Yeah. And with that, I'd like to add also, you think about this kind of partner and all these things. Then you got to think on the other side of that say to attract this type of partner, what kind of person do I need to be? What kinds of things I need to be doing? And you can attract this type of partner when you're working on yourself and you're like, if I want an outdoorsy person and well, I need to get out there and I need to give, be outdoors, whatever it is, you know, and you need to become that person so you can attract with that profession you want to attract,

Tyson: 39:56 right? And you got to do it real. Don't, don't be like, oh, I want to, I want to attract a sugar daddy. So I'm going to go buy all these Louis baton purses and do all this short term stuff in drive a fancy car. So like you gotta think long term. Think about what is going to be long and lasting. If you're doing these things with um, without integrity and you're doing these things with false justifications on things, it's not going to work out because that person is going to love this facade that you're putting on and when they find out the real you that they're number one, they're going to feel cheated. And number two, they may not just want to talk to you ever again, like you never know because all that work, it's just. But you did all of this work, got everything that you ever wanted, but it was a facade and now you don't have it anymore and now people talk about you or whatever the case might be. Just be careful about all that.

Speaker 3: 41:03 What are you looking for? You got to pick up some courses. Do you got to get some books? Do you need to go to your local community center or Church or whatever it is and get into a single thing down like,

Tyson: 41:15 yeah, and I, you know, I'm not here to knock on church. I mean if you're. I know there's a lot of people out there, especially nowadays that aren't too hooked on religion. I'm not necessarily trying to up sell religion, but I'm just trying to say that if you want couples and people have been together for a long time, if you go to church, you will see couples who've been married for 10, 20, 30 years, you know, and that's because marriage is hard work and what most people don't realize is if within church people who are church going the number one thing and the relationship is not themselves, the number one thing that the relationship is their god or their creator or whoever that may be or whatever it is, and when two people can put something other than themselves first in their life, that's how they make stuff work.

Tyson: 42:10 Yeah. This is a relationship. This is about giving and taking. This is about sharing with one another and enjoying with one another. This isn't about me, me, me, me, me. Right. This kind of, you know, just kind of take a second to think about that. It's like wait a minute. Two people who are in a relationship or something else is greater than their relationship. Like, yeah, that's exactly how it works. It doesn't have to be God, it can be whatever it is, but just I'm just saying if you go to church, you will notice that people conduct themselves in a different manner. You'll notice that they are different towards each other. Then when they're at work and like if you notice these things and you put yourself around these things and you can emulate these things, then that's how you can attract the other type of person that you want or things that you want into your life.

Tyson: 43:02 Powerful acts. Exactly the point. Their goal where you want to find people that you want to be like, yeah, whatever that is. You know for sure. And then the last thing I guess is, you know, for relationships, everything's online now. A lot of people are scared to go online like, well, I don't know. It's like you can review the profile. You get local people. I'm thinking about the Internet is it widens your search. You're not limited to one area or geographical location. Like you can find somebody all over the world who has similar likes to what you want and to what you do and it's not just limited to your local area like I don't know. You're getting a greater reach. You're getting results that are more fine tuned towards you because you're going to input what you like and what you don't like. And the other person is looking for the same thing too.

Tyson: 44:00 So I know. Don't knock it till you try it. If you haven't tried going online, try it. I mean just depending on what site you want. If you want to find the love of your life, you might not want to go on tinder or Grindr, but um, you know, but at the same time, like if you just want to get into the dating world, maybe those apps are good for you because they're a good dating sites. You can at least get out there and get comfortable with dating again. Um, you know, just, just be cautious. There's a lot of things

Speaker 3: 44:32 out there. But like I said, it just keeps going back to that thing. You can easily go and find a dating service with a specific thing that you're interested in type of a, of group or you know, farmers I, you know, I've seen, I've seen um, different religious type of things, different things, and you can go in there and like this is what I'm looking for and here's the place where they all hang out and it's easier for you to at least narrow your search down to find that person that works with you and is compatible with you. You know, that's just kind of all part of it is like finding that person takes a lot of searching and sometimes these websites can optimize that search. Just like when you search for anything else on Google, right? You want to find out what this might look something up.

Speaker 3: 45:25 I'll look on Google, same thing that these websites are trying to accomplish. And anyway, and then onto the last pillar per se with a, with the y. yes, for sure. And so what is your intention if you feel like you're not happy? Like what are some things that, you know, take that word, like I said earlier and break that down. What, what, what am I looking for? And if it's money and things, I'll let you know. Right now it ain't gonna help temporarily. Temporarily temporarily be around. I just bought a bed. It helps me sleep at night, but I haven't seen it on the floor for all you know, pretty soon you'll readjusted. Your new standard will be that level.

Speaker 3: 46:13 You've got to start from somewhere, right? It goes back to setting intentions. Like I want to be happier when I wake up in the morning to feel better. I need a better bet is that time and you have a clear intention instead of saying I want to be happy and then going, oh, I don't know. Whereas happiness that I haven't seen you around today, I think I left it in my purse. Hold on, let me just ask. Not Happening. I'm saying what are the things I'm looking for to make me happy? Were on this other list of where are these other things or what, you know, maybe you have a condition and you're like, I really need to take this seriously. It needs to start seeking professional help. You know, whatever it is for you. You know, the thing I like to talk about is, is gratitude.

Speaker 3: 46:55 I mean, you can't be in his other states if you're in a state of gratitude. I've said before, there's three, 4,000 people every morning that just don't wake up. So every time you wake up and open those eyes up, be fucking thankful as hell you were able to do that. Not everybody has that opportunity, but there's so many things. And this can be superficial at first and can start getting down. You can. Um, I, I heard of this guy is author, uh, I think it's 80 jacobs. He just wrote a book where he, he, he, he took his cup of coffee. He went that entire supply and thanked the guys that roasted the beans, the beans and truck, the beans that shipped the beat up that, that, that made the water go to his house. He went and he thanked every single person that touched that, that entire process, you know, that's the thing that you can start thinking about because they thinking like, thank you engineers for this goddamn Internet I have right now for being in a watch these spools, talk about this stuff. Like this is amazing, you know, and, and not granted, Huh?

Tyson: 47:55 Yeah. But I mean you can, you can kind of get through it. And I guess obviously for me I have a pattern of kind of going through it because when I go running at the end of my run, like I think about it, but like I've just kept like this chain of memories that I can always go back to and like be like $10 a good day. Like, you know what I mean? Like just there's like a lot of good memories I have. And like you, you'd be surprised that you forget every now and then, but eventually you'll just get on a good train of thought. Like, Oh, I remember this day we did that and then that brings up another memes are. Remember they did that and like, Oh I remember David did this and like, I don't know, I just have this whole like list of good memories like somewhere up in here, can't recall them all at the same time, but you know what I mean, like you just kind of go back and relive those moments like you know like oh the best birthday ever.

Tyson: 48:47 Like you know, there's great or like the day my son accomplished this or that they are reading needed help and some stranger just came out of the blue and just help me like, or those kinds of things like you just be thankful for them, remember them and you know, let that take you. Because from there those positive feelings that just, they just get more positive feelings and like when I say be grateful, like truly be grateful, not just like, oh I got this new bed, but like, like be grateful for, for something deep down inside here and your soul. Like find the cause of that law. I'm grateful because I got this new watch. Well what about this new watch makes it so great. Like take it a step further and I was like, well what about that makes it so great and it's like, you know, you can kind of dive into and find out why things are great for you and why they have such an impact on your life. And that's, that's the main key.

Speaker 3: 49:45 Definitely. I was really obviously about that. I mean finding that happiness, whatever it is for you, expressing your gratitude for the things, even the shitty things in life you can find, damn, that was fucked up, but boy am I grateful happened. Now I know what not to do now. Whatever it is, you know, there's always something to be grateful for in the shade.

Tyson: 50:10 More opportunities that are out there, you know, it's, might not be relevant, but I was just reading Ray Dalio the other days like maturity is the ability to pass a good opportunity and pursuit of an even better one. Like what I mean, like you, you gotta be out there, know what's great. It can be just selling for everything that's good in life. You know, I, I think there's more to you than that. I think there's a lot more to you than just settling for what's good. You gotta to learn that sometimes you got to pass up the good stuff to get what you really want because that's the even better stuff. That's the best stuff in life that you can get and sometimes you got to pass up good stuff to get it

Speaker 3: 50:51 and then that's when you need to know what you're after. Clear concise intentions, goals, whatever you want to call them, and you can say, this isn't quite what I'm looking for yet, so you have thank you, but I'm still working towards something greater than this and it takes time. It takes

Tyson: 51:10 and you got to find out what that is for you and you to find a way to make that happen and you got to set time aside to make it happen.

Speaker 3: 51:18 Absolutely. Anything can happen to you. I'm talking about. No ma'am. I think that's it, man. Square on that. So we're, you know, January. We're here. Here we are. December was great. I'd like to thank everybody that helped donate to the holiday helper. We were able to, uh, donate, uh, about $240 worth of food to the children's home and I also, we also did 260 some odd dollars to the local, uh, food banks and stuff like that. And whenever is great. Great. I think everybody that participated and those of you that the things in your community, I'd love to hear about what you guys did over the holidays. I'm very interested in learning and hearing about more things. You get some share that with us social media, whatever you want to shoot an email over to the show, that'd be great. I'll, but we're back to giveaways.

Speaker 3: 52:00 I love giving stuff away. I love you folks, you know, benefiting from things that we've come across and we really enjoyed our life for January. We talked about meditation, we've talked about these things. We talk about folks in ourselves and to me one of the greatest ways to help you focus is the waking up by Sam Harris. I'm giving away one year of that APP based thing. So one whole year you have access to that entire APP. That's our gift to you. To help you start this new year, help you focus, help you get into meditation or not help you on your way. If you are whatever it is, we want you to be clear and concise in your goals and your focus is your intentions. It's me. This is one great way to do it. You'd like to get into this giveaway who'd like to learn more about the APP in itself.

Speaker 3: 52:45 You guys can head over to the social community show slash pick me. You can learn about the APP and you can also get into giveaway if you want. Please share with your friends and people that you think will benefit from this and I will be giving away one a winter, one years of service, and then this week's challenge. I challenge you folks to set your intentions. What do you want out of life? What lifestyle do you want? Now? What's your friends want? I want your family wants and what instagram says. What do you to set that goal? Set that intention, do it now. When would now be a good time right now? Right now, that intention set that goal department. We've already gone through, that's this week's challenge. Go do it. Nice. Yeah, but then with that, just the final thoughts. You know, take this moment for yourself.

Speaker 3: 53:54 You're watching or you're listening to this episode. There's a reason you're listening to it. There's a reason you're watching it. You can make the difference in your life. Take this moment right here, right now to focus and make the changes that you need to make this year and with that, if this episode is helpful to you, please share it with these two other people. The best way to support this show is sharing with others leaving like leaving a review. You want to support the show and you're like, what we're doing when it reached more people. That's the best way to help us out in between shows. You guys can follow us and catch us up, what we're up to on social media, all the other social media places at the social chameleon show, facebook, instagram, twitter, all that. You can subscribe on Youtube and your favorite podcast app for past episodes and links to everything we've talked about here today. You a business social chameleon, not show until next time, keep learning, growing and transforming into the person you want to.